32 Five Ways to Win At Eating and Dating

The Cravings Whisperer with Alexandra Jamieson

5 Ways To

Our conversation today is all about food and sex.

Welcome to my adults only episode of The Crave Cast. 

Why is it that we can talk about food all the time (we love to taste, lick, suck and bite) but we don’t talk about how incredibly sexual it is.

What would you say, that eating is the most intimate thing we do with other people?

Well it is!

Do you experience shame, guilt and fear when it comes to your food cravings or your sexual desires?

Well the good news is, you’re only human!

I’m also excited to share with you my sponsor, Perfect Supplements. I use their Cordyceps, Natural Calm Magnesium and Rhodiola all the time – and am thrilled to partner with them to bring you the show.

As a special offer to my “clan of the crave bears” and listeners, Perfect Supplements is offering 10% off your order when you use the discount code CRAVE10 at check out! Click here to get your goodies!

Now let’s explore how to reconnect with our bodies, food and our sexual desires.

“Be present and taste everything, it’s all delicious.” (Click to Tweet)

You can Subscribe to the podcast on iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher or TuneIn

“We walk along the dual razors edges of dieting and dating.” (Click to Tweet)

Show Notes:

  • My disconnected libido and relationship
  • Being in a war with my body and suddenly craving 2 taboo things
  • Do you suffer from orthorexia?
  • Preparing to continue to fail
  • Eat and date – the sexual power behind food
  • No judgement = an enjoyable experience
  • How my body came back from the brink of hormonal failure

“Something changed and I suddenly wanted both – Men and Meatballs.” (Click to Tweet)

5 lessons I learnt about Respectful Eating and Dating:

    1. Experiment to find what feels good to you
    2. Always stand up for what’s right for your own body
    3. Ask for help – if friends don’t support you then it’s time to cleanse your friends!
    4. Remember that procrastination stems from our desire for perfection – Just do whatever it is you actually want
    5. In being confident you will find the perfect diet and person

“I had to start listening to my body and give her what she was asking for.” (Click to Tweet)

Links Mentioned:

“You have to collect the dots so you can begin to connect the dots.” (Click to Tweet)

Thrive On A Budget: Win Groceries from @DeliciousAlex + Thrive Markets

I love food – especially when it’s healthy, tastes good, and doesn’t cost an arm and a leg.

Shopping, cooking, touching and smelling the ingredients…it’s a pleasure for me, connects me with my food, and is part of the experience of eating…99% of the time.

Then there are times when I’m running late, need to pick my kid up from school, the weather is terrible, or I’d just rather work on my podcast, not run to the market.

That’s why I love Thrive Market – and why you will be SO excited to learn about this.
(I’m calling Thrive “healthy, cheap Amazon” in my head, but don’t tell Amazon I said that!)

Yes, I order my groceries online. A lot.

Thrive Markets is GENIUS – you can order organic packaged foods from organic healthy snacks, organic oils, gluten-free, vegan, and paleo ingredients, as well as baby products, and supplements…get this…

at 30-50% off what I would pay at Whole Foods!

It’s a great way to save time, and honestly money – if my time is worth over $100 an hour, and it will take me 1+ hour to grocery shop, or even an extra $20 to get a taxi back home to save time (I’m a New Yorker – and haven’t owned a car in 18 years)…I’d just rather hop online, choose the organic, healthy ingredients I want, and have it shipped to my door.

Seriously – Thrive is a brilliant way for anyone, single or loaded with children, to save time and money.

Enter to win 2 months of Thrive Market membership here + 20% off – as long as you live in the U.S. (sorry overseas, honeys!)

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Scones + Sisterhood: Gluten-free scones

 

Scones + Sisterhood: Gluten-Free SisterHoodDay Cranberry Scones

Scones + Sisterhood: Gluten-Free SisterHoodDay Cranberry Scones

Last weekend I celebrated the first Sisterhood Day with 9 amazing friends.

We shared stories, challenges, desires, and scones.

I hope you’ll share these with your lady loves, too.

Ingredients:

2 cups Bob’s Red Mill Gluten Free All-Purpose Flour (I get it here for cheap!)

2 Tablespoons Organic Sugar

1 tsp Baking Powder

1/4 tsp Baking Soda

1/2 tsp Salt

8 Tbsp Unsalted Butter or Coconut Oil, frozen and shredded with a cheese grater

1/2 cup mildly sweetened dried cranberries

¼ cup almond milk

¼ cup orange juice

2 teaspoons freshly grated orange zest

1 large egg or Flax Egg  (1 heaping Tablespoons ground flax seed whisked with 4 Tablespoons hot water)

 

Directions:

1. Adjust oven rack to lower-middle position and preheat oven to 400 degrees.

2. In a medium bowl, mix flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Grate butter or coconut oil into flour mixture on the large holes of a box grater; use your fingers to work in butter (mixture should resemble coarse meal), then stir cranberries

3. In a small bowl, whisk orange juice, almond milk, zest, and flax egg until smooth.

4. Using a fork, stir orange juice mixture into flour mixture until large dough clumps form. Use your hands to press the dough against the bowl into a ball. (The dough will be sticky in places, and there may not seem to be enough liquid at first, but as you press, the dough will come together.)

5. Place on a lightly floured surface and pat into a 7- to 8-inch circle about 3/4-inch thick.

6. Use a sharp knife to cut into 8-12 triangles; place on a cookie sheet (preferably lined with parchment paper), about 1 inch apart. Bake until golden, about 15 to 17 minutes.

7. Cool for 5 minutes and serve warm or at room temperature.

Serves 8-12

 

Kale yeah! Keep your kale close, win this golden kale necklace

#kaleyeah! Win this gold kale necklace from @rockthatgem!

#kaleyeah! Win this gold kale necklace from @rockthatgem!

Do you have positive triggers?

As I come a few days shy of earning my certification in Positive Psychology, I’m so grateful for having learned so many science-based interventions to help people (myself and my family included) feel more positive emotions.

Positive emotions help us enjoy our lives more, look for possibilities, and even improve your immune system.

One way to invoke positive emotions is to have positive triggers in your life: things that remind you of your intention to be happy, or things that bring a smile to your face…and heart.

This kale necklace from my dear friend Molly Clarke, creator of Rock That Gem, is one of my favorite, fashionable positive triggers.

When I wear this necklace, I feel like healthy eating is hot, sexy, and fun, not a chore.

I called up Molly and she said “Sure! I’ll give away a kale necklace for your birthday celebration, Alex!” Thanks Molly!

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So what are your positive triggers? What makes you smile + laugh? What puts you in a creative mood? What triggers your excitement, gratitude, and hope? For some of us it’s looking at pictures of a favorite vacation or loved one. Some of us have a favorite song. Others go for a quick walk, or smell a favorite essential oil. Some watch funny cat videos on YouTube. Others remind themselves of their goals.  

Feeding my craving for sisters + how I ended the mean girl shame

Cravings Cleanse with Alex Jamieson

I’m afraid of women.

Not my individual friends – I have dozens of amazing, trustworthy, inspiring girlfriends who I honestly feel are my spiritual sisters.

One-on-one, I love being with them.

But groups? Nope. Scary.

gossip

 

When I was in middle school, I was “mean girled.” I was the new kid at my junior high, having moved to Los Angeles with my mom so she could finish her degree after my folks divorced. I made friends pretty quickly, and was soon eating lunch with a clique of popular, smart girls, with whom I took honors english, typing, and history. Then one day, the fun turned sour:

I was a hungry, growing girl who ran around a lot, skate boarding, riding my bike, and walking to school every day. So I ate a big lunch. Two hot dogs. Every day.

This one girl started staring at me and my 2 hot dogs. She stared at me while I ate. I could feel her judgment and gaze, and I got more and more uncomfortable.

Then she started gossiping about me to the other girls. How I was a pig for eating so much. How gross it was. How they shouldn’t let me sit there. Not all the girls paid attention to her, but after a few days I didn’t sit with them anymore. I sat with other kids or by myself.

And I felt so nervous walking into our classes together. Because they stopped talking to me. They wouldn’t sit with me on the bus, or stand in line with me on our class trip to Disney Land.

It was horrible.

But I didn’t realize until recently how this incident led me to put up a wall between me and groups of females.

My 40th birthday is this week, and I decided that it’s time to put this old story to rest. So I invited 15 women to my house for a sister circle.

It was the first time I’d had a group of lady friends over to our new home, since we finally had the boxes unpacked and pictures hung.

And it was my first time hosting a sister circle. What’s a sister circle, you may well ask?

The idea started with my friend Nisha, who created SisterHoodDay.com – when I first saw her email about it, I flinched.

I wanted to spend more time with women, to create in-person communities and supportive live groups, as I’ve been doing for years in my online cleanses and programs. In those online coaching programs I lead women through 8-week transformational frameworks to help them feel + look well, and end the war with their bodies. I love my online groups, and the supportive community they create is astounding.

Yet, getting together in person with a group of women felt dangerous. But I craved the deeper connection that comes with in-person gatherings and support.

So I sent a few emails, vacuumed, made some scones, and took a deep breath. I couldn’t believe how nervous I was! I even got my nails done, in an effort to impress these women.

In fact, I put more effort into getting ready for this group than I did for my first date with my partner Bob. And the stakes were higher:

  • would they all like each other?
  • would they still like me?
  • would I screw up the circle?
  • how would I “run” a circle?!
  • would they think I was a total dork for putting on this woo-woo women’s thing?

As each woman arrived, I greeted her with a hug, thanked her for getting up early and trudging to Brooklyn on a Saturday morning, and handed her a cup of tea or water.

As I watched all these beautiful, loving women meet each other, I realized I had been hiding from them, but I’d also kept them from each other – my own fear had gotten in the way of their possible friendships.

We gathered in my living room, circled up on the couch and floor pillows, and I shared why I had asked them to join me.

Cravings Cleanse with Alex Jamieson

When I was through with my story, two other women immediately shared their own middle-school “mean girl” tales, and that THEY had also been afraid of women, made easier relationships with men, and felt disconnected from their bodies as a result of that early girlhood experience.

The tears flowed, more stories about body-shame, food trouble, and laughter about similarities bubbled up throughout the morning.

Finally, relaxed and bonded by the oxytocin which you could almost cut with a knife, I asked my friends to share their desires for the coming spring.

I believe that if we truly want our lives to match our inner fantasies, we have to speak our desires out loud, and ask the people in our lives to support us as we create them.

And they shared such beautiful desires and cravings:

  • to get in the best shape of my life
  • to find a partner
  • to have great sex with my partner
  • to be a YouTube star
  • to recommit to my own healing path + end the fight with food

By the end of just two hours, we were sisters. Women who had never met before were hugging, sharing phone numbers and hooking up for later dates.

Everyone glowed as they left. Everyone thanked me for putting the circle together. And I felt incredibly humbled, safe, and supported.

Now I have another craving – to continue getting women together in circles, where we can support, honor, and love each other on our evolving journeys.

xo,

Alex

Join my 8-week Cravings Cleanse which starts 4/16.

Our online sisterhood is a safe, fun place of healing and support, I guarantee it!

My To-Don’t List – Mindset Makeover Technique

A cleanse is about more than just taking a few foods out of your diet - it's about a mindset makeover

I’ll be 40 in 4 days…

And what I hear from so many women, both older + younger, is that they want to feel like they’re living their own lives.

And that too often we wake up one day, or look in the mirror, and say:

what am I doing? Is THIS what I want?

I felt that way when I realized I couldn’t trust my marriage and asked for a divorce.

I felt that way when my body was breaking down, and I knew I needed to eat meat again.

And that feeling shows up in daily choices around how I spend my time, how I run my business, and what I do with my energy.

Our deep fears keep us from sharing our quirks, truths, and following our cravings. Cravings for experiences, creation, well-being, and adventure.

Fears of being publicly shamed, Fears of being selfish, being too much, being too loud, Just being ourselves. And then made wrong for our truth.

“What you say no to is as important as what you say yes to.”

I’ve gotten pretty clear about what I want, and sometimes that requires getting clear on what I DON’T want.

In positive psychology there are studies showing big birthdays (anything with a 0 at the end of it…30, 40, 50, you get it) instigate big changes, big goals, and an awareness of time passing.

What I WON’T do…AKA My To-Don’t List:

eat foods that drain my energy, and put me in a food coma

spend more than 30 minutes on social media a day

let my phone distract me from my family get lost in gossip magazines + reality TV (AKA the “comparison trap”)

let fear get in the way of sharing my ideas with the world

waste energy judging other women

read my book reviews online

apologize for taking time + resources for my self care

apologize for taking up space

spend time on projects that don’t serve me, my readers and listeners

get lost in negative mind chatter that my body and life aren’t good enough

respond to negative online attacks – haters gonna hate, and I don’t need to throw them any more fuel

To-DON’Ts from my readers + Cleanse members:

Joanne: I will no longer undervalue what I do for a living (graphic designer) or accept less than I deserve…

Allison: 1) apologize for needing a lazy day, AKA staying in bed and watching TV till 2pm while snuggling with my cat 2 ) feel guilty for satisfying a food craving 3) work for corporate America

Jan: stop using the word “just”…just a 5K., as in “just” walking rather than running

Carolyn: my story that there is not enough love in the world, my story that things have to be hard, my squicky relationship with money

What I WILL do…(AKA big motivating desires, or things I want to fill my life up with)

Move + stretch my body daily in ways that feel good, grounding + strengthening

Ask myself how I want to feel when I choose my meals

Take random, surprise days off with my son + go make memories together

Write as if my soul will wilt if I don’t express it, because it does

Cook + eat foods that boost my energy (recipes)

Get 7-9 hours of sleep a night

Meet up with at least 2 friends a week Read a new book for fun every month

Get the tattoo I’ve been dreaming of, now

A cleanse is about more than just taking a few foods out of your diet - it's about a mindset makeover

My To Don’t List

Take a trapeze class Roller skating birthday party (done!)

Frequently initiate juicy dates with my man

Read and play daily with my son

Take time for myself to read, walk, be in nature

Ask for time off, time away, time alone, and not feel guilty for it

Take my bike for a tune up so I can ride the first nice day of spring

Call my Dad, brother, and Grandma regularly

Write thank you letters to all the people who helped me spread the word about Women, Food, And Desire

Take hot baths and read inspiring books

Tell everyone I love them any time I feel like it

Draw, paint, color, and play my ukulele – and share them all with people

Give away $100 as a family every month to awesome charities…

Live as if 40 were my LAST birthday, because really, who knows?

This could be it. This could be my last year – or I could have 40 more years, as glorious as the first batch. What will I do with this time? How do I want to feel? What do I want to remember on my death bed? How much love can I share?

I want to hear from you: What will you NOT do anymore? What’s NOT serving you? And what DO YOU WANT?

Make a list. Declare it. Do it. xo, AJ

P.S. The spring Cravings Cleanse + Mindset Makeover starts 4/16 – go here to learn more + join:

Want some Mighty Maca? Enter the #20til40 give away here!

Energy.

That’s one of the biggest cravings we modern women (and men) report – we want more vitality! And we DON’T want to be caffeine addicts to get it.

I’ll be 40 in a few days, and lasting energy is a big goal for me – that means I get 7-9 hours of sleep, don’t drink much caffeine, and move every day.

But sometimes I need more, especially when I’m traveling, creating a new program, or just being a full-time mom.

One of the best food-based supplements for energy that I’ve found is Might Maca Greens – and I’d love to send you a nice big container as a gift!

Win Mighty Maca from @delicioualex for all day energy!

Win Mighty Maca from @delicioualex for all day energy!

What is Maca?

Mighty Maca has, well, MACA in it! Maca is a super-root that grows in the high Andes of Peru. It was used by the ancient Incas as both food and medicine.

Key Benefits

  • Improving mood
  • Boosting energy (naturally)
  • Enhancing libido
  • Improving fertility (for both men and women)
  • Relieving PMS symptoms.
  • (For more benefits see MightyMaca.com

Ingredients

  • Mighty Maca includes 15 other superfoods that can help reduce inflammation, improve digestion, boost immunity, aid metabolism, detoxify the body, and more:
  • Spirulina (rich source of protein, Omega-3s, vitamins, and trace minerals)
  • Mangosteen (tropical fruit that is a source of 40+ anti-inflammatories)
  • Acerola (containx 30x the Vitamin C that oranges do)
  • Beta glucan (cholesterol lowering fiber found in oatmeal)
  • Cat’s claw, AKA una de gato (potent healer)
  • Resveratrol (powerful antioxidant from grapes)
  • Quercetin (powerful antioxidant from the Japanese pagoda tree)
  • Milk thistle (detoxifies the liver)
  • Flax seeds (#1 plant-based source of Omega-3s)
  • Turmeric (powerful anti-inflammatory, commonly found in Indian food – it’s what makes curry yellow)
  • Kelp (great source of iodine and trace minerals)
  • Green tea (plentiful source of EGCG, a powerful flavonol)
  • Cinnamon (associated with lower blood sugar, cholesterol, and insulin levels)
  • Licorice (used in traditional Chinese medicine to treat a variety of illnesses)

Enter to win your Mighty Maca from Dr. Anna Cabeca, creator and founder of this delicious green food! 

 

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A crave-worthy book: Win The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte

How often does someone ask you: how do you want to feel?

Not enough.

I’ve been using Danielle LaPorte’s book The Desire Map in my own life for a couple of years, and it was influential in guiding my work with clients and writing Women, Food, And Desire.

I find that when we really dive deep and get clear on what we WANT, rather than what we don’t want, life can shift in miraculous ways.

Win the Desire Map from Danielle LaPorte

Win the Desire Map from Danielle LaPorte

Today I’m teaming up with Danielle LaPorte to give away a digital copy of her groundbreaking book, The Desire Map.

Her guide will help you define your “goals with soul” and help you never make another to-do list and New Year’s resolution ever again.
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Deliciously pretty skin care – win a $200 gift basket from AnnMarie Skincare!

Two good rules to live by:

1. If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all. 2. Don’t put stuff on your skin that isn’t safe to put in your mouth. Your skin care, make up, hair care, deodorant, and any other beauty aids should be toxin-free, and made from super-healthy ingredients. Because your skin is porous, yo! You absorb everything through your skin, so it’s time to upgrade that old toxic Maybelline with AnnMarie.   annmarie Wouldn’t you love to have a simple bathroom cabinet that looked like this? I LOVE Annmarie Gianni’s skincare – it’s non-toxic, and truly feels like it’s feeding my skin when I put it on.

So I’m happy to announce that we teamed up to give away a

$200 gift basket of incredible products to one lucky winner!

annemarie give away

Enter here, and be sure to go check out their awesome products online!

 
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How I got to sleep again…Win my FAV Magnesium from Perfect Supplements!

I was a tired, frustrated mess until I started using Natural Calm…

Win my favorite Magnesium supplement from Perfect Supplements!

Win my favorite Magnesium supplement from Perfect Supplements!

I was suffering from insomnia for over a year, and it was really wrecking my life. The stress of my mom getting sick while I was under a writing deadline for my book were all too much for my adrenals.

Total exhaustion, spiraling hormones, grouchy mood, and a total collapse of my libido ….

and did you know that ONE bad night of sleep can make you insulin resistant for a few days? That’s crazy.

Magnesium is one of the best first steps when it comes to supplementing for insomnia – and chocolate cravings!

Yup, the first nutritional cause of chocolate cravings is low magnesium levels.

 

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So today I’m giving away some of my favorite helpers from Perfect Supplements – a gift box including my favorite Natural Calm Magnesium (which I take before bed) and my favorite Perfect Cordyceps, a great medicinal mushroom I take for boosting my energy and my immune system.

Enter to win here from me and Perfect Supplements!

 

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