Sober, With The Lights On [Love Yourself]

May is National Masturbation Month: It's time to get clear + sober about our physical cravings!

It’s time to turn on the lights + get clear, sweet ones.
It’s time to love yourself well.

May is National Masturbation Month: It's time to get clear + sober about our physical cravings!

May is National Masturbation Month: It’s time to get clear + sober about our physical cravings!

I’m going to talk about some stuff that’s even more taboo
than your weight, and is as crucial to your health, life satisfaction + happiness:

Our sensuality…or how we give ourselves the healing power of physical pleasure.
And masturbation.

Even typing that made my stomach drop.

I admit it: I still feel a bit nervous writing about sexual health + sexuality.

Then why for heaven’s sake am I doing it?

Because I know how important it is that we women
finally feel good in our bodies.

And because May is the 20th Anniversary of National Masturbation Month.

And I know how hard it is for ALL of us to talk about it…
and that it’s a secret piece of our health that has a huge impact
on how we feel IN + ABOUT our bodies.

How we feel about sex, food, and our physical need for pleasure is all tied together…
and there is too much shame around all of these.

I want all of us here in my tribe, my “clan of the crave bears,”
to love + feel confident in her (or his) own skin.

But most of us feel embarrassed by our bodies,
what we eat, and our sensual desires + needs.

They’re “touchy” subjects. (ok, enough joking – maybe)

We know that both can be wonderful (or so we’ve heard),
but we feel so awkward with them, that we try to get
through them quickly + without awareness.

See, I believe we keep ourselves in the dark + hide from
our food habits + sexual desires.

We’ve been fooled into thinking that if we don’t look at
our cravings + desires for both food + sex,
our problems with them will just go away.

But it’s a lie.
The less we pay attention,
the more we judge ourselves,
and the more we do both (food + physical pleasure) unconsciously.

Of this I’m certain: our unaware, rushed, judgmental way of
eating + treating our bodies is killing us.

We eat standing up, face in the fridge, quickly devouring dessert
as if we could erase the fact of what we’re eating…

And many of our sexual experiences are done with the lights off
(literally + figuratively), after a few drinks, as if the veil of alcohol +
darkness could make our embarrassment go away:

embarrassment of our bodies
embarrassment of our desires
hatred of our bodies
hatred of our cravings

It’s time to get clear + turn the lights on.
It’s time to talk about our desires + cravings.
It’s time to ask the questions + find the answers we need…

So that we can finally love our bodies, our lives + fully come alive.

Now is the perfect time to do this:

May is the 20th anniversary of National Masturbation Month, and I’ll be interviewing several top experts in women’s health + sexuality on my Crave Cast podcast about:

– the physical + psychological benefits of masturbation
– why so many of us (women especially) have a negative association with it
– how we can begin to practice specific techniques to help us:
– like + get to know our bodies better
– balance our hormones
– reduce our food cravings
– reduce + eliminate annoying urinary incontenence

4 things I’ve discovered in my research + heard from my clients about the benefits of masturbation + self-pleasure:

1. the more familiar we are with what makes our own bodies feel good, the better we are at asking our partner for what we want, or the better boundaries we have with creating and maintaining relationships;

2. the better we are at asking our partners for what we want, the more we get clear on what we want in life;
3. the more clear we can be about what we want in life, and the more confidence we have about being able to create it ourselves, the more help we ask for + receive;
4. The more help we ask for in life, the more productive we are, the more supportive we feel, the happier we are, the less stressed out we feel, and the more creative we can be.

Too many of the “health + happiness” experts avoid the topic of sex,
as if it had nothing to do with our vitality, emotional food cravings, and hormone balancing.

They’re missing a huge key aspect of health + aliveness.

Why? Because it’s hard to talk about. It scares people.
But this silence is hurting all of us.

In my book, Women, Food, And Desire, I wrote about food, sex, health, and cravings.

Many readers told me it was the first time they had connected these ideas before,
and that it changed how they eat and live their lives.

I’ll be writing about these delicate, yet important, topics all month,
and will post expert interviews every Friday on my Crave Cast podcast.

I hope you’ll listen, read, and share this with a friend as a way to move women’s health,
and this important conversation further.



37 Candida – Demystifying Bacterial Imbalance

The Cravings Whisperer with Alexandra Jamieson

The Cravings Whisperer Podcast with Alexandra Jamieson

Would you like a boost in energy?

Are you looking to relieve your digestive symptoms or headaches?

The good news is you’re not the only one!

Bacterial imbalance is frequent amongst both men and women, and it’s also commonly found in people with an underlying serious illness.

You may of heard of it before. I’m talking about the mysterious overgrowth, known as Candida.

In this episode you’ll learn what Candida actually is, where it comes from, what it means and how to get rid of it. I also share with you the benefits of a Candida cleanse diet. Yay!

So my clan of the crave bears, it’s time to re-balance our bodies by treating it well and getting clear on the key principle – A delicious healthy diet.

Join me now to get that Candida in Check!

You can Subscribe to the podcast on iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher or TuneIn

“The major cause of candida overgrowth is antibiotic over use.” (Click to Tweet)

Show Notes:

  • What is Candida
  • Where does Candida come from
  • What are the symptoms of Candida
  • The different types of Candida
  • How this affects men, women and people with an underlying illness
  • What are the causes of Candida overgrowth
  • The value in taking Probiotics
  • Antibiotics = Antilife + Killing off bacteria (FYI – The Good and Bad)
  • How sugar feeds Candida and affects our PH balance
  • DO NOT TAKE ANTIBIOTICSOnly when they are extremely necessary!

“Candida rarely occur in people with robust immune systems who eat a really healthy diet and low in sugar and yeast.” (Click to Tweet)

  • How diet is the number 1 key to avoid Candida
  • What foods to avoid to regain balance
  • The benefits of doing a Candida cleanse diet
  • Fibre + Good Bacteria = Fuel
  • Tips to stay candida free.. Hint: Replace your toothbrush every 30days
  • White cotton vs Synthetic underwear
  • Why we should avoid synthetic household cleaners
  • How our bacterial imbalance is one of the root causes of cravings

“Oils are important in healing and preventing fungus from destroying cells.” (Click to Tweet)

Supplements Mentioned:

    1. Probiotic (Take a huge variety with many different strains)
    2. Caprylic Acid
    3. Essential Fatty Acids
    4. Blackcurrent Seed Oil
    5. Flaxseed Oil
    6. Evening Primrose Oil
    7. Garlic
    8. Quercetin
    9. Vitamin C
    10. Grapefruit Seed Extract
    11. Olive Leaf Extract
    12. Oil of Oregano (Take capsules)

“The big key is your diet and the fuel that you put in your body.” (Click to Tweet)

Links Mentioned:

“One of the root causes of our cravings is our bacterial imbalance.” (Click to Tweet)

36 Cravings Q & A – How to Listen To Your Body & Give it What it Needs

The Cravings Whisperer with Alexandra Jamieson

The Cravings Whisperer Podcast with Alexandra JamiesonYes…. Spring is finally here!

Do you love this time of the year? Do you love gardening?

Well I love both and I’m so excited about planting, growing and cooking my own food.

Today I answer the questions many of you have been asking. How do we control our PMS cravings. Why we crave what we crave, and what you can do for your body to feel balanced during this stress induced time of the month.

We dive into salty cravings and the top 5 most common nutrient deficiencies. I also share with you lots of delicious food recommendations.

I’m equally excited to share with you my sponsor, Perfect Supplements. I use their Cordyceps, Natural Calm Magnesium and Rhodiola all the time – and am thrilled to partner with them to bring you the show.

As a special offer to my “clan of the crave bears” and listeners, Perfect Supplements is offering 10% off your order when you use the discount code CRAVE10 at check out! Click here to get your goodies!

So do yourself a favor, listen to this episode then get outside and check out what’s growing. It’s time to create beautiful food for a healthy body.

You can Subscribe to the podcast on iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher or TuneIn

“Your brain is the number one consumer of glucose in the body.” (Click to Tweet)

Show Notes:

  • What can I do about PMS cravings
  • How do hormones work
  • What are the effects of birth control pills?
  • The correlation between will power and blood sugar
  • The importance of focusing on clean and lean proteins
  • How to deal with stress

“Focus on clean and lean proteins.” (Click to Tweet)

  • How to get a balance of protein, fats and sugars
  • Why you should eat the best quality dark chocolate
  • How to replace sugar…. Hint: With pleasure!
  • Concerned about your health? Then go and have a check up!
  • How to support the people you love

“Make sure you’re doing things in your life that bring you pleasure and joy.” (Click to Tweet)

The 5 Most Common Nutrient Deficiencies & What You Can Do about Them:

    1. Iodine – The crucial ingredient in thyroid hormone
      • What to eat more of: Fish, shellfish, seafood, crustaceans, seaweed, sea vegetables, kelp, kombu, pasteurised egg yolks, nascent iodine supplement
    2. Selenium – Another important thyroid ingredient
      • What to eat more of: Brazil nuts, wild salmon, shiitake mushrooms, lamb, turkey, shrimp, cod, halibut, egg yolks
    3. Magnesium – Highly rampant through depletion in soil and modern water
      • What to eat more of: Dark chocolate, leafy greens, swiss chard, spinach, bok choy, kale, seeds, nuts, halibut mineral water, natural calm supplement
    4. Vitamin K2 – We need to eat more K2 foods
      • What to eat more of: Egg yolks, grass fed butter, fish eggs, fermented soy beans, miso soup, K2 supplement
    5. Vitamin B12 – Very common and it’s extra tough to get on a vegetarian or vegan diet
      • What to eat more of: Mostly animal foods – Liver, sardines, salmon, a really absorbable B12 supplement

“Cravings are your bodies way of telling you it needs something.” (Click to Tweet)

Links Mentioned:

“Your salty cravings might be for particular minerals.” (Click to Tweet)

Get Over Your “Shoulds” + Enjoy Getting What You Want

terri event

Ever think any of these?

I should really lose some weight.

I should look for a new job. This one makes me unhappy.

I should really start eating better.

I should cut back the hours I am working.

I should really figure out what makes me happy, and do it more.

Should is just a dis-empowering word, so if you are using it, you most likely don’t really want to do what you are “shoulding” yourself to do.


Should Definition

Used to express obligation or duty. You should send her a note.

Used to express probability or expectation. They should arrive at noon.

Used to express conditionality or contingency. If she should fall, then so would I.


You may want the result of losing weight or finding a job you love, but inherent in the “should’ statement above is the connotation that it is an obligation, not something you want to do.

terri event

There is a lack of desire and a sense of guilt present in these statements.

There is also a sense of expectation.

AND, this is all GREAT information. Whenever you “should” yourself about doing ANYTHING, there is some aspect of doing this thing you feel you “should” do that seems unpleasant or uncomfortable, that you really don’t wish to do.

So, do you really want to shame yourself into doing it???

That never works does it? When anyone else tries to guilt you into doing something, does that ever feel good? You generally resent doing something you are guilt-ed into doing, right?

And, this entire conversation is energetically draining.

So, whenever you hear yourself say the word “should” can you please stop and think about what you are expecting in this scenario?

What about this seems difficult to you?

It’s easier to make time in our lives for things we want to do or for things we feel will have some kind of positive pay off, like advancing our careers in some way.

Who has found time to:

Go to a networking event?

Have dinner or lunch with a friend you enjoy?

Watch your favorite TV show, the one to which you are addicted?

You do these things because they pay off in some way.

Going to that networking event may help you make an important business connection.

Having dinner or lunch with your friend will be fun and supportive.

Watching your Favorite TV show will give you something to talk about at work and be a fun distraction.

So, if you can figure out something you can do that will support weight loss that also provides you with some other more immediate, emotional pay off, you are more likely to do it!

Walking in the park with a friend gives you a calorie burn plus some friendship- fun and support.

Riding a stationary bike while reading a great novel or watching a great TV series will make you want to get on that bike to see what happens next.

Taking a workout class or dance class that inspires and exhilarates you will make you want to go back for more!

You are most likely NOT going to do something that you think you “should” do, so watch for that word dancing around in your head or your conversations.

The word “Should” is just an alert that:

You have an expectation that the only way you can get the result you want is via hardship.

The ways you see this thing you want happening don’t have any positive emotional pay offs.

You think what you want is impossible for you.


If you don’t believe something is possible, it will be really tough to make it happen.


There are so many fun and engaging ways to exercise and feel great in your body!

There are lots of really delicious ways to eat healthy!

It’s way easier to take steps to get a new job when you believe it is possible to work in a situation you love!


If you would like to discover just how you “should” yourself and how you can get the results you want by taking actions you really LOVE and ENJOY doing, join me and my Buddies, Lara Riggio and amazing psychotherapist to the stars, Terri Cole for an amazing day in which we will be helping you experience how you can get Get it All Done with more ease, grace and joy.

In our Success Simplified Workshop on May 2nd in NYC, you will discover:

  • How to distinguish between a “Should” and a “Want” so you minimize unnecessary pressure in your life.
  • The art of mastering how to set effective boundaries with ease and kindness, so you don’t get roped into doing anything you don’t want to do.
  • How to identify what is stealing your energy, and get it back!
  • Discover how easy self-care activates The Law of Attraction, so you can benefit from this real phenomenon.
  • Sample the magic of quick & easy mindfulness practices like mini meditations and 60 second Present Moment
  • Awareness exercises you can do anywhere to harness the power of your intention.
  • And Uncover the downloaded limiting beliefs that are stopping you from having what you deserve, release them with energy work and feel the freedom and power you have as a result.
  • Release your resistance to receiving, so you can accept the help, love and appreciation available to you.
  • Learn how to listen to your body’s cravings, discover what your body needs from them and how to satisfy yourself with food.


Meet + bond with women like you: join this empowered posse of like-minded sisters, and know you are never alone.

Come get your health + inspiration on, and still have time in your Saturday schedule for your errands and a mani/pedi.

So, in addition to all the priceless strategies, tools and support you are going to receive during the day, you will be receiving over $160 of free stuff to help you practice what you discover throughout the day!

Sign up before April 20 + get the Early Bird Special, save $50!

Click Here to Register 


35 Overcoming Family Trauma with Mariel Hemingway

Mariel Hemingway on The Cravings Whisperer with Alexandra Jamieson

The Cravings Whisperer Podcast with Alexandra Jamieson

Do you know a young person who has experienced trauma in their life?

Do they need support?

Mariel Hemingway was born just months after her celebrated novelist grandfather Ernest Hemingway, tragically took his own life.

He left Mariel with not only a famous name, but also a family culture of addiction and mental illness. This podcast is about how Mariel overcame that legacy.

Mariel is an actress, model, documentary film maker and public speaker. She is now the author of Out Came The Sun and Invisible Girl.

I’m also excited to share with you my sponsor, Perfect Supplements. I use their Cordyceps, Natural Calm Magnesium and Rhodiola all the time – and am thrilled to partner with them to bring you the show.

As a special offer to my “clan of the crave bears” and listeners, Perfect Supplements is offering 10% off your order when you use the discount code CRAVE10 at check out! Click here to get your goodies!

I hope you enjoy this episode of The Crave Cast as much as I did. Now please welcome my next guest, Mariel Hemingway.

You can Subscribe to the podcast on iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher or TuneIn

“Nature is always there. It’s so embracive and I feel that.” (Click to Tweet)

Show Notes:

  • The benefits of nature as a healing tool
  • How to deal with overwhelm
  • Ways to help build strong, connected relationships
  • Are you the peacemaker?
  • How to be caretaker for family members with cancer
  • How to overcome trauma

“We make choices based on our lack of knowledge of other choices & things in ourselves that are unresolved.” (Click to Tweet)

  • Why we must be honest with our children about addiction
  • How to deal with control (OCD)
  • The benefits of setting boundaries
  • What is brain wave optimization?
  • How to have a balanced life
  • Why young people need to understand their not alone

“Life is all about re-inventing and re-understanding.” (Click to Tweet)

Links Mentioned:

 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | YouTube

“We misinterpret the world that we live in because we don’t have any life experience.” (Click to Tweet)

Come Play With Alex! 1-week retreat in North Carolina!



This transformational workshop is led by bestselling author, functional nutrition coach, and chef, Alex Jamieson. Alex will guide you in discovering the true meanings of your food cravings, and teach you how understanding these cravings is the key to satisfying your deepest desires. Along with Alex, some of Asheville’s top teachers, natural healers, and conscious cooks will take you on excursions to explore, concoct, and connect with your body and how to meet your desires in a way that serves your well being. In this workshop you will learn about the core of your desires, detoxing your system, feeding your cravings, healing your relationship with food, and embracing your body.

If you love pleasure and food, you will gain life-long wisdom in this week-long retreat.

DATE: December 6-12, 2015. LOCATION: Asheville, NC.

FEE: See Early Bird Discounts & other details below. Register + learn more here: 




Learn the real reasons behind all your cravings––for food, sleep, sex, movement, companionship and inspiration––and how to satiate your cravings in a loving, healthy way. Experience natural healing, emotional release, pure pleasure, and deep connection. Throughout the week, you will be learning about the following:

With Alex You’ll Learn:

To make peace with food & embrace your body
The importance of pleasure & how to prioritize it
How cleansing can connect you with your authentic self
What your cravings mean & creative recipes to satisfy them
The secrets to thriving relationships, vitality & positive aging
Heart habits & healing rituals to release the past & move forward
Transformational dietary changes & mindset tools to improve food habits

Hands-on Projects & Healing Practices:

The Conscious Kitchen: Active meditations for a healthier you
Nature Walks: Connecting with the beauty & stillness of nature’s wisdom
Herbs for Healthy Hormones: Making medicine for menstruation to menopause
Everyday Aphrodisiacs: Cacao concoctions, herbal teas & tonics for a sensual life
Emotional Freedom Technique: A.k.a “tapping” your way to food freedom & ease
“Combining humor and candor with a smart, science-based approach, Alexandra Jamieson helps you develop a healthier, sexier, more vital existence. With practical, easy-to-implement strategies, she shows you how to transcend obstacles and tap into your deepest purpose.” ~ JJ Virgin, nutrition & fitness expert and bestselling author


Asheville, North Carolina is based in a food-centric and ecologically lush bioregion. Surrounded by the oldest mountains on the planet, the hoppin’ downtown is full of local artisans, organic restaurants, farmer’s markets, street buskers, yoga studios, and independent everything. It’s the first Bee City, USA, the #1 Beer City in the country, andNational Geographic named it one of the best cities in the world, while Good Morning America recently featured Asheville as their top city to visit in 2015. There’s tons to do, so stay a couple extra days if you can.

Homewood-AshevilleThe workshop location for the morning portion of the workshop is at the beautiful Homewood stone castle in the historic neighborhood of Montford — a short five minute drive from the heart of downtown. The afternoon workshops will rotate between various homesteads, gardens, and woodlands — roughly within a 15-minute drive from downtown. Carpooling is encouraged and connections will be made for those without cars.

Asheville skyline

To learn more + register, go to:

34 Body Scan Meditation for Stress – What our Bodies are Really Saying

The Cravings Whisperer with Alexandra Jamieson

The Cravings Whisperer Podcast with Alexandra Jamieson

Are you struggling with digestion or stress?

Well you’re not alone.

Today I’m going to walk you through a technique which I usually teach in my Cravings Cleanse. I’ve created this so you can tune in to your body, feel relaxed and make the best decisions around food.

I’m also excited to share with you my sponsor, Perfect Supplements. I use their Cordyceps, Natural Calm Magnesium and Rhodiola all the time – and am thrilled to partner with them to bring you the show.

As a special offer to my “clan of the crave bears” and listeners, Perfect Supplements is offering 10% off your order when you use the discount code CRAVE10 at check out! Click here to get your goodies!

If you’re finding it hard to make the best decisions for your body then you’re going to love this episode.

So let’s snap out of this stressful relationship we have with our bodies, and start listening to what it’s really asking us for.

You can Subscribe to the podcast on iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher or TuneIn

“You can either be stressed or you can digest.” (Click to Tweet)

Show Notes:

  • What is the purpose of a body scan?
  • Health tips on how we can produce our best creative work
  • The benefits of knowing what works for your body
  • Meditation can be done before each meal or bed

“If you hear what your bodies telling you, you have to follow through on it.” (Click to Tweet)

1 Minute Body Scan Meditation For Stress:

    1. Get comfortable, grounded and tune into your body
    2. Soften the parts of your body in contact with your surroundings
    3. Set an intention
    4. Agree to meet whatever you find with friendliness
    5. Imagine your taking a tour of your body
    6. Move down your body and notice awareness
    7. Breath, relax and release whenever you find tension
    8. After you scan your entire body find one more part to relax
    9. Connect the entire body together
    10. Feel your skin around your whole body
    11. Become aware of your wholeness in your body
    12. Breath in, then slowly gently sigh and release
    13. Ask your body what choice does it want you to make now

“It’s a very radical concept, to meet your body with radical self acceptance.” (Click to Tweet)

Links Mentioned:

“This body is the only one we get.” (Click to Tweet)

Rituals are my spiritual alarm clocks – how to be YOU more

I do this not asking for help thing.

One part of me thinks that if I do it all by myself I’ll really be worthy of what I achieve.


Another part feels shame when I ask for help – as if I’m a stupid dumb-dumb who can’t get her act together and just do it on my own.


I’m getting WAY better at asking.

Losing my mom, a dear best friend, and turning 40 did something to me this last year.


But some days it’s still hard…

Women from my last cleanse shared their thoughts on why it’s hard to ask for help:


“I do have a hard time asking for help. For me it’s more about not wanting to be burden…which is kind of ridiculous because I am quick to help others.”

“When I feel unworthy of someone’s time or attention it’s hard to ask for help.”

“I grew up in a home where my mom didn’t really voice her needs or expectations and then she would act passive aggressively to get you do what she needed, or she should play the role of sacrificial martyr…so I have had to unlearn these patterns.”

“I feel like I should have already been capable of doing it on my own. Asking for help feels vulnerable, and I was abused as a child….I grew up never wanting to feel vulnerable like that again.”


Asking for help makes us feel very vulnerable.

YET, it’s really the only way we can end the shame we feel, end the overworked, disconnected, lonely vibe we’re suffering with…


What if we flipped “the shame of asking” into a ritual of sharing?


This is a new thing in human history, this shame in asking for help.


For most of our history, we have relied on each other, coming together in groups,

+ meeting in ritual to honor, thank, ask, and give to each other, our higher power, or ourselves.


Ritual: a mindful, regular series of actions taken by a person or group of people.


I’ve started thinking of rituals as my spiritual alarm clocks.

Rituals are spiritual alarm clocks

They help in bonding us with our loved ones or community…

Rituals help in focusing our thoughts…

They help in grieving so we don’t do it all alone…

They help in celebrating so we don’t do THAT all alone…

They help us forgiv (yourself or another)…

Rituals help us relieve stress…

Rituals help us recommit to our health…

Rituals help in connecting with other people when it’s scary to ask for intimate support…


Rituals help us be who we want to be.

They pop up in every culture on earth, in every home.

Call them “heart habits” if you will.


Reminders to get up, get focused, get my attention back from the distractions, and keep being more of who I want to be, ever day.


One of my recent Cravings Cleanse members, Kate, created this Ritual list, that she offered to share with you:


Rituals That heal

Here are some of the rituals that we focus on in my Cravings Cleanse + Mindset Makeover:

  1. Daily emails from me that help you think + act in your own best interests
  2. 8 oz. of warm water with lemon when you get up to start your digestion
  3. Weekly live calls with me + the group to learn, share, and celebrate
  4. Daily green + clean protein smoothies that taste great + heal digestion
  5. A whole module on rituals + habits, and how to create your best days


Rituals could be called habits with soul.

(A la Danielle Laporte’s “desires are goals with soul.”)


See, we are our habits:

40% of what you do today is what you did yesterday, including what you eat, do, and think.


So what if your habits became “heart habits” or rituals?


What if you didn’t try to do it alone, and instead joined a group of people who are actively creating rituals in their own lives?


I invite you to join us in the journey, The Cravings Cleanse + Mindset Makeover.

We start on 4/16, but we are already sharing on our private Facebook group, and I can tell this is going to be extraordinary.


Join this group of ritual seekers, start asking for (and receiving) the help you need, and leave your shame at the door.






P.S. In my positive psychology training, and in my culinary school chef training, and in my health counselor training, I got really into the small, daily actions that have the biggest impact. That’s what the Cravings Cleanse + Mindset Makeover is. A powerful set of rituals that have big impact on your life. If you’re ready, go here to join us:



It’s a powerful ingredient in a healthy life, but what if you’re all out of it?

What if you think you used up your last bit of hope for that boiling pot of traumathat’s been bubbling on your back burner for years?

I’ve felt pretty hopeless at times in my life:

– when my mom got so depressed when I was a kid because her sister and dad had both committed suicide within a couple years of each other, and I couldn’t do anything to make her happy…

– when I discovered my ex-husband’s infidelities and looked at our tiny son, not knowing what to do next…

– when I realized my vegan diet wasn’t healthy for me anymore, and I simply had to eat meat again, (which felt great) and then tell the world about it (which felt awful)

Feeling hopeless is, well, just horrible.

Like “nothing I do will ever be enough”, like “my efforts don’t make any difference”, and that (this is where my hopeless mind spirals always take me) “I’ll end up alone, dying, living under a bridge.”

Uninspired, alienated, forsaken, powerless, limited, oppressed, helpless. Yuck.

I’ve been there, and I know you have, too – because it’s normal, human, and super common. AND, most of us get out of the hellish hole of hopelessness at some point.

But there are times when you feel stuck + hopeless about one thing and struggle with it for years. It could be:

your weight
your relationship status
your career trajectory
or your purpose in this life…

Whatever your situation is, positive psychology and years of coaching people through health and life challenges have shown me that there are measurable steps to growing hope.

Why am I telling you about hope?

People who are “highly hopeful” are healthier + do better in life:
  • hope + optimism is correlated with less anxiety + less depression (read: less sugar + alcohol cravings)
  • high hope is linked with physical well-being (read: more movement + joy)
  • higher self esteem (read: better boundaries + higher confidence)
  • hope is one of the best predictors of overcoming challenges (read: more likely to stick with health goals)
3 Powers you need to grow hope, even if you think it’s hopeless:

What Power = define the hope (the desire, goal, change, thing or state of being that you crave)
Willpower = action or personal agency (your belief in your ability and tenacity, your drive)
Way Power = pathways to hope (possible routes to achieving/creating that thing, desire, goal)

But how can you increase the what, will, and way to feel more hopeful?


DO frame your hope in positive language
(get clear on what you DO want, which is a stronger pull than the wimpy push of what you DON’T want)

DO tell yourself you have chosen a good desire + it’s your job to follow through,
don’t allow yourself to be thrown off by roadblocks and challenges
(working with a coach like me is best for this – don’t do it alone + be left alone with your b*tch brain!)

DO learn to talk to yourself in a positive voice
(This is really the purpose of the Mindset Makeover skills in my Cravings Cleanse)

DO look back at previous successes in life goals
(remember that you’ve been through rough times in the past + list 3 ways you got out of them)

DO be able to laugh at yourself
(even when your mind says you’re “failing” or get worried things will never change

DO enjoy the process of getting to your goals
(not just focusing on final attainment of them vs. constantly thinking about how you’re doing ie. weighing yourself ever day to evaluate if you’re “good enough”)

DO recognize that you already have hope in you NOW!
(you’re here reading this, which tells me you’re actively looking for help + inspiration)

Sometimes kicking hopelessness to the curb requires self-love, grit, humor, and a bit of seething anger.

Well, in my experience, it always does.

Every time I’ve reached the point where my lack of hope was just too freakin’ annoying and insufferable to bear, I’ve made a declaration, a decision, and took action.

It wasn’t always the most graceful action, but in my experience, any action is better than sitting in that murky puddle of pity party tears I’d squeezed out.

And so at last, sweet one, I want you to share what your hopes are –

What are your hopes for the future?
What excites you about this desire?
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P.S. And if this bit of writing inspired you, lit a fire inside you, or got you to smile just a little bit, maybe you’re ready to join my Cravings Cleanse + Mindset Makeover.

We start 4/16 – and there is a phenomenal group of ladies just like you ready to get started…xo

It’s not me, it’s you

Hey sweet ones,

This is in you, too:

I’ve never felt so connected to myself in my life. I need to work harder at reaching out for support, rather than for what is convenient.
~ C, in New York

The power of community that gathered for this cleanse – it has been so incredible!
~ I, in Palo Alto

I’ve lost 16 pounds…but more than that, all the tools and tips that we got were really enlightening too. More energy without caffeine, I’m going to the gym a few times a week, and I’m taking action and procrastinating less. I used to get stuck in beating myself up – and I’m making more forward movement. Upward spiraling.
~ P, in NJ

I was raised to be the good girl – not not make trouble. But through this eight weeks, I’ve been putting myself towards the top of the pile. It feels really good to be standing up for myself and not worry so much about “being a pain” just for asking for what I want.
~ C, in Texas

“You did this,” I told them.
I was just the guide.

These were a few of the comments from the last Cravings Cleanse + Mindset Makeover members…

I’ve put up the blog posts, written the worksheets, put together the recipes, and recorded the modules, but you did the work, I told them.

You raised your hand and said, “Yes, Alex. I’m ready.”

And there is power in saying YES.
Asking for help.
Putting yourself first.

I can give you every bit of knowledge, inspiration, recipes, positive psychology and more…
But it will be you who makes it happen.

Most of my cleanse members didn’t really believe they could stop eating sugar…and then they did.
Many of the women had never spent that much money on themselves…but then they did.
One woman didn’t think she could keep up with her kids, start-up business, and succeed at the cleanse…and she did.

It wasn’t me – it was them.

When you say YES, the wild forces of the Universe (God, Goddesses, Light, Life, what have you)
snap to attention and start moving your way.

Real, lasting transformation happens on the level of thoughtful action. It’s when you do IT differently… (this whole dropping pounds + boosting energy thing, AKA getting really, beautifully healthy)

…it’s about putting yourself and your health first instead of putting your needs at the bottom of the heap again.
…it’s about asking to join a community of women, even when you’re scared, instead of trying to do it alone again.
…it’s about bravely looking at the reason for your mean self-thoughts, instead of avoiding them with sugar again.

This is where the magic is. In YOU.
But you’re not doing it alone.
We’re here together – through eight glorious, shaky, illuminating weeks of live coaching, daily internet pow-wows.

The work is here, between us. It’s my calling, and it’s your time.
To get right with your body, to love food again, and to get your life back.
Doing it together gives us strength and clarity.

And it brings us closer to who we’re supposed to be.


Join the April 16th Cravings Cleanse + Mindset Makeover – go here now:

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