Rituals are my spiritual alarm clocks – how to be YOU more

I do this not asking for help thing.

One part of me thinks that if I do it all by myself I’ll really be worthy of what I achieve.

 

Another part feels shame when I ask for help – as if I’m a stupid dumb-dumb who can’t get her act together and just do it on my own.

 

I’m getting WAY better at asking.

Losing my mom, a dear best friend, and turning 40 did something to me this last year.

 

But some days it’s still hard…

Women from my last cleanse shared their thoughts on why it’s hard to ask for help:

 

“I do have a hard time asking for help. For me it’s more about not wanting to be burden…which is kind of ridiculous because I am quick to help others.”

“When I feel unworthy of someone’s time or attention it’s hard to ask for help.”

“I grew up in a home where my mom didn’t really voice her needs or expectations and then she would act passive aggressively to get you do what she needed, or she should play the role of sacrificial martyr…so I have had to unlearn these patterns.”

“I feel like I should have already been capable of doing it on my own. Asking for help feels vulnerable, and I was abused as a child….I grew up never wanting to feel vulnerable like that again.”

 

Asking for help makes us feel very vulnerable.

YET, it’s really the only way we can end the shame we feel, end the overworked, disconnected, lonely vibe we’re suffering with…

 

What if we flipped “the shame of asking” into a ritual of sharing?

 

This is a new thing in human history, this shame in asking for help.

 

For most of our history, we have relied on each other, coming together in groups,

+ meeting in ritual to honor, thank, ask, and give to each other, our higher power, or ourselves.

 

Ritual: a mindful, regular series of actions taken by a person or group of people.

 

I’ve started thinking of rituals as my spiritual alarm clocks.

Rituals are spiritual alarm clocks

They help in bonding us with our loved ones or community…

Rituals help in focusing our thoughts…

They help in grieving so we don’t do it all alone…

They help in celebrating so we don’t do THAT all alone…

They help us forgiv (yourself or another)…

Rituals help us relieve stress…

Rituals help us recommit to our health…

Rituals help in connecting with other people when it’s scary to ask for intimate support…

 

Rituals help us be who we want to be.

They pop up in every culture on earth, in every home.

Call them “heart habits” if you will.

 

Reminders to get up, get focused, get my attention back from the distractions, and keep being more of who I want to be, ever day.

 

One of my recent Cravings Cleanse members, Kate, created this Ritual list, that she offered to share with you:

 

Rituals That heal

Here are some of the rituals that we focus on in my Cravings Cleanse + Mindset Makeover:

  1. Daily emails from me that help you think + act in your own best interests
  2. 8 oz. of warm water with lemon when you get up to start your digestion
  3. Weekly live calls with me + the group to learn, share, and celebrate
  4. Daily green + clean protein smoothies that taste great + heal digestion
  5. A whole module on rituals + habits, and how to create your best days

 

Rituals could be called habits with soul.

(A la Danielle Laporte’s “desires are goals with soul.”)

 

See, we are our habits:

40% of what you do today is what you did yesterday, including what you eat, do, and think.

 

So what if your habits became “heart habits” or rituals?

 

What if you didn’t try to do it alone, and instead joined a group of people who are actively creating rituals in their own lives?

 

I invite you to join us in the journey, The Cravings Cleanse + Mindset Makeover.

We start on 4/16, but we are already sharing on our private Facebook group, and I can tell this is going to be extraordinary.

 

Join this group of ritual seekers, start asking for (and receiving) the help you need, and leave your shame at the door.

 

 

Xo,

Alex

 

P.S. In my positive psychology training, and in my culinary school chef training, and in my health counselor training, I got really into the small, daily actions that have the biggest impact. That’s what the Cravings Cleanse + Mindset Makeover is. A powerful set of rituals that have big impact on your life. If you’re ready, go here to join us:

 
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7 STEPS TO GROW YOUR HOPE

Hope.

It’s a powerful ingredient in a healthy life, but what if you’re all out of it?

What if you think you used up your last bit of hope for that boiling pot of traumathat’s been bubbling on your back burner for years?

I’ve felt pretty hopeless at times in my life:

- when my mom got so depressed when I was a kid because her sister and dad had both committed suicide within a couple years of each other, and I couldn’t do anything to make her happy…

- when I discovered my ex-husband’s infidelities and looked at our tiny son, not knowing what to do next…

- when I realized my vegan diet wasn’t healthy for me anymore, and I simply had to eat meat again, (which felt great) and then tell the world about it (which felt awful)

Feeling hopeless is, well, just horrible.

Like “nothing I do will ever be enough”, like “my efforts don’t make any difference”, and that (this is where my hopeless mind spirals always take me) “I’ll end up alone, dying, living under a bridge.”

Uninspired, alienated, forsaken, powerless, limited, oppressed, helpless. Yuck.

I’ve been there, and I know you have, too – because it’s normal, human, and super common. AND, most of us get out of the hellish hole of hopelessness at some point.

But there are times when you feel stuck + hopeless about one thing and struggle with it for years. It could be:

your weight
your relationship status
your career trajectory
or your purpose in this life…

Whatever your situation is, positive psychology and years of coaching people through health and life challenges have shown me that there are measurable steps to growing hope.

Why am I telling you about hope?

People who are “highly hopeful” are healthier + do better in life:
  • hope + optimism is correlated with less anxiety + less depression (read: less sugar + alcohol cravings)
  • high hope is linked with physical well-being (read: more movement + joy)
  • higher self esteem (read: better boundaries + higher confidence)
  • hope is one of the best predictors of overcoming challenges (read: more likely to stick with health goals)
3 Powers you need to grow hope, even if you think it’s hopeless:

What Power = define the hope (the desire, goal, change, thing or state of being that you crave)
Willpower = action or personal agency (your belief in your ability and tenacity, your drive)
Way Power = pathways to hope (possible routes to achieving/creating that thing, desire, goal)

But how can you increase the what, will, and way to feel more hopeful?


7 STEPS TO GROW YOUR HOPE

DO frame your hope in positive language
(get clear on what you DO want, which is a stronger pull than the wimpy push of what you DON’T want)

DO tell yourself you have chosen a good desire + it’s your job to follow through,
don’t allow yourself to be thrown off by roadblocks and challenges
(working with a coach like me is best for this – don’t do it alone + be left alone with your b*tch brain!)

DO learn to talk to yourself in a positive voice
(This is really the purpose of the Mindset Makeover skills in my Cravings Cleanse)

DO look back at previous successes in life goals
(remember that you’ve been through rough times in the past + list 3 ways you got out of them)

DO be able to laugh at yourself
(even when your mind says you’re “failing” or get worried things will never change

DO enjoy the process of getting to your goals
(not just focusing on final attainment of them vs. constantly thinking about how you’re doing ie. weighing yourself ever day to evaluate if you’re “good enough”)

DO recognize that you already have hope in you NOW!
(you’re here reading this, which tells me you’re actively looking for help + inspiration)


Sometimes kicking hopelessness to the curb requires self-love, grit, humor, and a bit of seething anger.

Well, in my experience, it always does.

Every time I’ve reached the point where my lack of hope was just too freakin’ annoying and insufferable to bear, I’ve made a declaration, a decision, and took action.

It wasn’t always the most graceful action, but in my experience, any action is better than sitting in that murky puddle of pity party tears I’d squeezed out.

And so at last, sweet one, I want you to share what your hopes are –

What are your hopes for the future?
What excites you about this desire?
Xo,
Interesting Image

P.S. And if this bit of writing inspired you, lit a fire inside you, or got you to smile just a little bit, maybe you’re ready to join my Cravings Cleanse + Mindset Makeover.

We start 4/16 – and there is a phenomenal group of ladies just like you ready to get started…xo
 
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It’s not me, it’s you

Hey sweet ones,

This is in you, too:

I’ve never felt so connected to myself in my life. I need to work harder at reaching out for support, rather than for what is convenient.
~ C, in New York

The power of community that gathered for this cleanse – it has been so incredible!
~ I, in Palo Alto

I’ve lost 16 pounds…but more than that, all the tools and tips that we got were really enlightening too. More energy without caffeine, I’m going to the gym a few times a week, and I’m taking action and procrastinating less. I used to get stuck in beating myself up – and I’m making more forward movement. Upward spiraling.
~ P, in NJ

I was raised to be the good girl – not not make trouble. But through this eight weeks, I’ve been putting myself towards the top of the pile. It feels really good to be standing up for myself and not worry so much about “being a pain” just for asking for what I want.
~ C, in Texas

“You did this,” I told them.
I was just the guide.

These were a few of the comments from the last Cravings Cleanse + Mindset Makeover members…

I’ve put up the blog posts, written the worksheets, put together the recipes, and recorded the modules, but you did the work, I told them.

You raised your hand and said, “Yes, Alex. I’m ready.”

And there is power in saying YES.
Asking for help.
Putting yourself first.

I can give you every bit of knowledge, inspiration, recipes, positive psychology and more…
But it will be you who makes it happen.

Most of my cleanse members didn’t really believe they could stop eating sugar…and then they did.
Many of the women had never spent that much money on themselves…but then they did.
One woman didn’t think she could keep up with her kids, start-up business, and succeed at the cleanse…and she did.

It wasn’t me – it was them.

When you say YES, the wild forces of the Universe (God, Goddesses, Light, Life, what have you)
snap to attention and start moving your way.

Real, lasting transformation happens on the level of thoughtful action. It’s when you do IT differently… (this whole dropping pounds + boosting energy thing, AKA getting really, beautifully healthy)

…it’s about putting yourself and your health first instead of putting your needs at the bottom of the heap again.
…it’s about asking to join a community of women, even when you’re scared, instead of trying to do it alone again.
…it’s about bravely looking at the reason for your mean self-thoughts, instead of avoiding them with sugar again.

This is where the magic is. In YOU.
But you’re not doing it alone.
We’re here together – through eight glorious, shaky, illuminating weeks of live coaching, daily internet pow-wows.

The work is here, between us. It’s my calling, and it’s your time.
To get right with your body, to love food again, and to get your life back.
Doing it together gives us strength and clarity.

And it brings us closer to who we’re supposed to be.

Xo,
Alex

Join the April 16th Cravings Cleanse + Mindset Makeover – go here now:

 
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33 Energy Check – Debunking Myths about Energy Supplements

The Cravings Whisperer Podcast with Alexandra JamiesonAre you buying fraudulent and potentially dangerous herbal supplements?

Today we uncover the truth around this hot topic.

This episode of The Crave Cast was inspired by the overwhelming response and questions I received around energy, insomnia and how to boost productivity.

Speaking of which, I’m excited to share with you my sponsor, Perfect Supplements. I use their Cordyceps, Natural Calm Magnesium and Rhodiola all the time – and am thrilled to partner with them to bring you the show.

As a special offer to my “clan of the crave bears” and listeners, Perfect Supplements is offering 10% off your order when you use the discount code CRAVE10 at check out! Click here to get your goodies!

Now let’s explore how we can best naturally get our bodies and our brains, back on track.

You can Subscribe to the podcast on iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher or TuneIn

“One bad night of sleep can put you into insulin resistance.”  (Click to Tweet)

Show Notes:

  • Are you buying fraudulent and potentially dangerous herbal supplements? Check yourself before you head to a big retailer near you!
  • How New York is making some big strides to get rid of the nasty guys
  • Caffeine, Cordosol and the dangers of high blood sugar
  • Insomnia = Insulin resistance
  • Yerba Mate vs Coffee
  • The side effects of Melatonin… and yes, it’s a hormone therapy
  • Look at your gut if you have a mood or sleep disorder

“Caffeine messes with our hormones and our sleep.”  (Click to Tweet)

  • Healthy gut + Healthy mind = Real health
  • The benefits of taking rhodiola
  • What are adaptogens?
  • Why we need balanced neurotransmitters
  • The importance of supplement quality
  • How we should only purchase rhodiola which is guaranteed Siberian grown
  • What interesting studies have to say about rhodiola

“Most hormones in the body are governed by negative feedback which works like your household thermostat.” (Click to Tweet)

Links Mentioned:

Connect with me. Tweet me. Hit me up!

Share with me your desires. Share with me your cravings.

I want to hear more from you and what else you’d like to know about cravings?

“Your gut is the foundation of your health. If it’s going well then everything else is going to be better too.” (Click to Tweet)

 
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The Clean Slate Club, Retox/Detox, and starting over

I celebrated the HECK out of my 40th birthday up until Friday!

Thanks to all of you who emailed or posted birthday wishes.
It really felt good (and honestly, a little vulnerable) to be so loved + celebrated.

I had a roller skating birthday party with girlfriends, just like when I was 12…
had champagne, pizza, fresh fries, three kinds of cake (all gluten-free, of course)…
long days, late nights, and lots of laughter with friends.

And no birthday is complete without a gluten-free Minecraft cake topped with action figures!

birthday

But today…
I’m ready for a clean slate.

A clean slate with food.

In my Positive Psychology certification, I’ve studied the “fresh start effect.”
These are timely landmarks we use to make a change in our lives or behavior.

Turning 30, 40, or 50, or better (yes, I just got 2 emails from 80-year-young women who loved Women, Food, And Desire)…
the change of seasons (yes, it’s actually spring)…
New Year’s Day…

It’s a symbolic, energetic new beginning.
A break with the past, a declaration that the old way is over.

I’ve mastered the art of giving myself a clean slate, a fresh start:

I live my life by a diet of my own creation – I call it “detox/retox.”

I eat good, fresh food that helps me stay healthy, feel the energy I crave, and stay well…
80% of the time.

20% of the time I party down shamelessly with great chocolate, popcorn, artisinal cheese, and the occasional Bloody Mary.

I don’t feel guilty when I indulge for a night, a weekend, or even a few weeks.
Because I know that I will hear my body’s message to get back to a clean slate…

That shameless part?
HUGE.

When you make yourself bad for “eating wrong” or “falling off the food wagon,”
you can’t really grow, because you always think of yourself as damaged.

Eating well + loving life is the goal.
That means feeling really good, and enjoying foods that help you live a life
and savor the flavors life has to offer.

Your body is wise, designed to feel + seek pleasure, and you deserve to feel great.

But that’s not how we feel, is it?

Most of us were members of the “clean plate club” as kids –
we were forced to eat our whole meal even if we felt full.

That led most of us to mistrust our bodies, not recognize hunger, and put our
body’s needs and desires second, after someone else’s expectations of us.

Time to join the

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Most of the time, feeling great means eating foods that rebuild your digestive system, which in turn create happy neurotransmitters, which in turn build a positive mood, confidence, and resilience to create, do, and stand for your desires in life.

Sometimes great means clinking a wine glass (or three) with your dearest friends,
celebrating each other and marking a great milestone.

Most of the time, we need to eat from a clean slate, while holding the frame
that “perfect” isn’t the goal, that we each have permission to be human.

I think it’s time to give yourself a clean slate.
To start fresh and begin anew with your body and food.

Imagine your life is a white board, covered with the mean thoughts, words,
and past “mistakes” you’ve made with food, dieting, and your body.

You can start fresh + wipe that slate clean, and start over.

But I can only hand you the eraser…
YOU have to do the work of getting clean.
I can even stand next to you, encouraging you as you wipe your body, slate, and habitual thoughts clean –
I can even hand you a nice fresh pen to rewrite your story.
But you still need to show up and do the work.

Are you ready for a clean slate?
If you are, join me and a growing community of women just like you in my “clean slate club” –

The Cravings Cleanse + Mindset Makeover.

This 8-week live coaching and online cleanse is the best program I’ve ever created to help you clean up your eating habits,
while transforming how you talk to yourself in your head, and how you think about food, pleasure, and more.

Filled with simple to follow food-based cleanse, you will finally feel in your own body what foods are right or wrong for you.
And you’ll get positive psychology tools to help you feel hopeful, strong, and oriented to grow.

And you’ll get your clean slate.
And feel like you truly deserve it.
‘Cause you do.

xo,
Alex

p.s. you can have a clean slate, a fresh start, any time you want. But doing it with a group of people, and a coach,
are the best ways I know to really make it happen for you. Come with us: http://alexandrajamieson.com/cravings-cleanse/

 
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