114 How to Move On + Jon Levy’s New Book on Risk

The Cravings Whisperer Podcast

Hello Crave Bears! I awoke this morning feeling a bit angry. It has taken me all day to come up with words to open this week’s show. I voted for Hillary. I voted for a more open, inclusive, just society, against fear, hate, anger, normalized abuse and sexism, and I voted against Trump.  We wonder why more women who have been sexually abused don’t come forward? It’s because an abuser can become the President. Unless we get to a point in our society where we create a climate where abuse and sexism isn’t laughed off, but it is taken seriously and eliminated. We can’t allow deplorable behavior to become normalized. We have to create a safe environment where we can explore the injustice and then do something to fix it.

It’s time for all of us to invest even more in ourselves. When we are strong, our communities are strong. We have to take care of ourselves so that we can be the best version of ourselves to offer to society. When we feel good about our own well being, we can also stand for others, who can’t stand for themselves. We can’t be fearless. We need the fear to guide us. We need to feel the fear. Today, I offer you a way to heal the fear and anxiety that you may be feeling.  We need to move to a place of healing. We need to move to a place of safety. I want you to feel safe in this place and empowered as a woman. You may have to become an activist or take a stand you have never taken before. Whatever you need to do to feel safe, embrace it and go for it.

I highly recommend doing things that make you feel safe and supported. Take a self-defense class, get together with a group of women, take a Tai Chi class or do anything at all to make you feel strong and safe. We are not victims, and we will not be victimized. We are stronger together and we need each other!

Today’s guest is Jon Levy. He has a new book out called,The 2am Principle. He’s a friend of mine, he’s a nerd, he’s a data geek and he has now built a life of adventure. He takes risks and he has an amazing, expansive life!

alexandra-jamieson-featured-jon-levy-3

 

You can Subscribe to the podcast on iTunesSoundCloudStitcher or TuneIn

We can’t expect our lives to be “Instagram worthy” without diversity of experience. Click To Tweet

Show Notes:

  • How Jon got deep into the study of adventure
  • Having almost no options can make you get really good at things
  • The scientific evidence of benefits of adventure and diversity of experience
  • Why some dangers situations are really only a perceived danger
  • Flow state and how it affects you
  • Why you don’t have to go that far out of your comfort zone to benefit
  • We are hyper-social creatures and how we thrive because of it

You don’t have to put yourself in direct danger to experience something that challenges you. Click To Tweet

  • Why we need to be bad girls sometimes
  • Rustling up some trouble – why you should
  • How to use travel to test the limits of your personality
  • You’re going to feel like an idiot at times – embrace it
  • The 3 benefits of adventure and why it’s a gift
  • Jon shares his most embarrassing adventure story

The person you find at the end of your #adventure is a better, more expansive you. Click To Tweet

  • Why so many of our apologies are unnecessary
  • The influencers dinner and making dinner with Malcolm Gladwell
  • 4 characteristics that cause influencers to engage
  • Giving without any expectation, novelty, curation and awe – how it impacts influencers

 

Resources:

 

jonlevytlb.com – Connect with Jon

The 2am Principle – Get Jon’s Book

 

Book’s Jon Recommends:

The Alchemist

The Little Prince

Peter Pan

 

Post-traumatic growth is actually more common than post-traumatic stress. Click To Tweet

 

 

 
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What Self-Care for Feminine Introverts Needs To Be

 

self-care-forthe-feminine-introvert

Do you ghost at parties, leaving with no goodbye once you hit your limit for chit-chat, feeling drained?

Do you escape to your hotel room after giving a presentation or lecture at a conference to watch TV while everyone else networks at the bar?

Do you love your kids – yet crave a hidden corner with a book when the rest of the family gathers for a game or karaoke?

Me too. Welcome to introvert-land.

Introverts, long mislabeled as “too shy” or “too quiet” or even “rude party-poopers,” feel drained by overstimulation or being around people for too long. While far from being misanthropes – we love people – we feel pulled to an inner world of quiet and solitary rejuvenation.

The requirement for introverts is simple: spaciousness. Quiet, alone time spent doing whatever fills you up.

But what if you’re a woman and an introvert?

In my experience helping introverted women feel good in their own skin and create lives filled with vitality, the “quest for quiet” is an even bigger challenge.

Because we’re trained to take care of others first (heck we are masters at this!), experts at putting the energetic needs of others over our own, and trained to ignore our inner needs so much that we often can’t even connect to the voice inside telling us “enough is enough.”

Yet, it’s the single most important task we introverted women can accomplish.

A recent example from my own life:

When my husband’s family demanded we all meet up for Thanksgiving in an all-inclusive resort in Mexico, we two introverts balked. While it felt like a step above a cruise, where you’re trapped with 5,000 people you don’t know in a floating amusement park/mall, the idea of being “trapped” in a hotel with no escape still set off our introvert alarms.

For extroverts, being with loads of happy vacationers with all-you-can-eat and drink access seems like a holiday dream. The women in the family gathered to drink, gossip and dine together for every minute of the day.

Because I’ve gotten super clear on my needs for down-time, rest, and quiet, I made spacious time alone on my ocean-view veranda a priority, even when I got the side-eye and non-supportive comments from the family.

Even during vacations with my son, I make it clear to him that “Mommy needs quiet time.” Because I return to him refreshed, calm, and happy, he doesn’t worry that I don’t want to be around him. He accepts my needs. How great is that?

Here’s the truth, women:

Feminine introverts need quiet, freedom, and spaciousness to truly feel rested. Especially when you’re a mom, caregiver, service provider, and/or coach.

My idea of an ideal introvert-centric vacation is either:

a solo camping trip for bird watching in the Joshua Tree desert (like I did in February), or

a quiet long weekend at a wifi-free cabin in the woods with a bicycle and no one else near, except the diner in town, two miles away.

In the last year, I’ve taken two solo vacations. No husband. No child. No work.

park-bench

After my husband went through two horrible months of a spinal injury and surgery, I was completely drained. As soon as he was able to manage on his own, I told him I needed time away. He understood completely, also being an introvert, and I booked a long weekend in a cabin on Long Island. Alone.

Reading, riding my bike to the town three miles away, watching old movies, and taking naps, were exactly what I needed. On the train ride home, I was eager to see my husband and kid, and felt satiated. Satisfied. Full.

But I’m not typical. Most women feel guilty for even thinking about taking alone time.

Believe me, I used to feel the pain of guilt for taking an afternoon off or a weekend escape. And then I realized my true nature, and that as an introvert, alone time is not just a luxury but a downright necessity.

Now I work with women with lives just as full and mission-driven as my own — heck even more as some clients have several children and a staff of employees to manage — and help them see the value in spacious time for their health and sanity.

Convincing some women that they need a day off by themselves once a month is hard enough. Recommending they take a 2 or 3 day retreat for themselves? You can imagine the shocked looks and responses I get:

  • “But how will my husband manage the kids alone?”
  • “I have way too much work to do as it is – the work would pile up so bad I’d be even more stressed leaving!”
  • “I’d feel too selfish not spending the weekend with my family.”
  • “I can’t afford it. Maybe in a few months.”

All of these are reasonable excuses, but they’re just that – excuses.

I asked the women in my open Facebook group (you can join us here) what their challenges and strategies are as introverts. This is a hot topic! Over 100 women shared their comments, and here are the most interesting and common thoughts:

Andrea, Canada:  

The more connected I am the more introverted I become…. I need way more me time these days that’s ideally solitude. I also find I need regular doses of stillness is essential for me.

As for the challenges? It’s a huge challenge to make non-introverts understand how crucial this alone time is to my well-being. I need it every single day … some days more than others.

Jill, Texas:

Hmm… challenges: I seem outgoing, so people have no idea that I’m an introvert. I’m also pretty high anxiety, which comes out only when I don’t have enough me time, which is also something people don’t expect from me! The noise level of life – the world is a pretty noisy place to me, but most people don’t seem to be bothered by it. I’m often turning down the volume on TVs, radios, moving seats in restaurants to get farther from the speakers.. leaving places all together due to the noise. I like to listen to my music loud and sleep best in the spring when the frogs (peepers!) in the ponds are deafening so it’s a very particular kind of noise that I find overwhelming.

To recharge, a walk outside does wonders. Silence is amazing… as is a great song that I love that energizes me. Laying down and closing my eyes, or an actual nap. Stretching also can help a lot. I think it’s about the slow calm movement and attention to my body.

Jenn R:

I think I am borderline Introvert… turning down volume, walking away from things that seem unappealing for a moment.Time by myself for a weekend, reading, going for a walk, a nap, and I especially de-stress when I read design books. Next on my list, will be meditation:)

E.F:

I have to ‘force’ myself to go out. I will rather read a book. I am working on making eye contact with people and at least smile. I can’t just start a conversation with a stranger. Recharge by reading, crafting and relax in a bath.

Jessica:

Walking outside with some good music

Erin, IL:

I’m a teacher, so at the end of the day I’m so exhausted from interacting all day, I recharge by working out and relaxing in a nice epsom salt bath. It’s a lot for me everyday so I practice a lot of self care at night to recharge.

Tami:

Meditation, quiet commuting — No music, no news, no talking with others on the way to work. Getting into work without a bunch of extra words was a great way to start the day. 15 minutes of “no talking buffer” after work, not packing social stuff in on weekendswhite space on the calendar.

Julia:

I’m an ambivert who leans more towards introversion. I’ve found getting outside every day for a walk with my dog has made a world of difference. Meditating EVERY day is also life changing. Listen to your intuition. There are times when I know I need to say no, even when I want to say yes, simply because I don’t have the energy. Likewise, there are times when it’s critical I push myself to be social even when I would rather stay at home on the couch. Balance is key.

Karen:

My cat! Being around any animals, really. Scratching one or just having one on your lap is so soothing and undemanding.

Carissa:

I’m already looking forward to reading your piece! One thing that’s huge for me as an introvert is journaling. It helps “unclog the filter” and puts me back in touch with my own voice when it gets covered up.

D.I:

I’ve learned that allowing myself to rest helps me recharge. I push myself to do more than humanly possible every day. Because I am an introvert with a very social job, I get worn out by too much communication. So I absolutely need time to rest and be alone. Reading or listening to music alone in my bedroom helps too.

Melody:

Time by myself in nature. A walk in the woods or something similar can make a big difference. That and naps. Naps are a huge help.

Breanne:

I definitely tend toward introvert, though I’m more ambiverted than some (my partner, for example, is far more introverted than I). For me, a big challenge is discerning where my introversion ends and my social anxiety begins — since they are intertwined, and I think a lot of my social anxiety comes from not learning good interpersonal skills due to being an introvert (and born into a VERY introverted family ;-)) It’s actually something I think about a lot. I spend a lot of time (as do many of us) on personal development. But … we also know that we should be true to ourselves. So at what point is pushing for / pursuing growth actually at odds with accepting ourselves for who we are?

Kristin S.T.:

I think I’m technically an ambivert… so that said…. I have to watch the mixture that I am OUT on stages and in public, and how much I am in solitude. Too much of either is not good for me or my business.

If I go speak & make an offer at a big event for instance…

I have learned to also create space to retreat to afterwards. So after a big talk I will mingle for a while and answer questions etc… but then you’d likely see me sneak away back to my hotel room, where I will take a break to regain my energy, and enjoy some quiet time.

Weird tip: Wearing ear plugs is helpful for me in situations like that.

So for me following the pack doesn’t really suit me.  Feeling free to care for myself is important, and that often means stepping away for short breaks. That for me is typically enough to help through it. At larger events in general, I just try to find one or two people to chat with, and I stick with that. Feels much more doable, and I’m able to connect more personally.

Racheal B. C.:

Super introvert here!!! I actually love people and being in person but too much drains me. I’m the person who goes to events then spends the breaks taking a nap instead of chatting with everyone.

A big part of being introverted for me means making space for down time. During a coaching day when I’ve had several client calls – I need a solid hour to myself so I can center myself before jumping into family stuff.

And if I’m attending an event or traveling or something else that requires a lot of energy, I block off a day or two to recharge often with extra sleep, a good book, and a homemade meal with the family.

As far as what I do if actually AT a big event – I spend time beforehand figuring out who I know will be there and connecting in advance. It makes it easier when you already know there are a few people you can sit with and chat with at dinner.

Jordana J:

Super introvert over here too! 🙂  I practice transcendental meditation twice a day — that helps a lot

Susan:

I’ve always needed MASS quantities of alone time to start my day. If I’m around others online or IRL I’m very sociable and outgoing (people don’t usually think I’m an introvert) but then I need to recharge myself alone.

I realized the importance of managing my energy -physically, mentally and emotionally – after burning myself out in my last career & now I manage my whole life/biz around my energy & it’s the foundation of much of my work.

So yes to things like sleep, diet, exercise and the physical management, but even more importantly I realized is play, pleasure, sensuality and sexuality.

I realized that mental and emotional drains such as deeper beliefs we’ve created that keep us holding onto feelings of resentment/blame, guilt / shame will prevent us from allowing ourselves to experience those things that give us our natural charge.

Anna G:

I’m a super introvert! Breath exercises and lots of resting after an event. I love taking a shower and switching from hot to cold water to get my energy going.

Sarah Kaler:

I’m an introvert! But love deep relationships. I’ve always led groups, teams and experiences and have learned to manage my energy, health and drive. My business model is mostly evergreen except for one major program, meditation and yoga, and fridays are flex days. I design white space into my work and life so I always have time for me or to create, innovate, design, think

Elizabeth DiAlto:

Something that really helped me this year to better manage being an Empath/borderline HSP that can probably also be useful and applied to Introversion is to stop identifying with it so intensely, and to really observe, especially in subtle ways, if or how you blame things on it or even use it as a cop out at times. Stop saying things like “I’m an introvert…” or “…because I’m an introvert”. Yes, I understand it’s a real thing, and the struggle gets made more real the more we identify with these things, and embed them even deeper through how we speak and think about them. Especially if we do it from a disempowering place – which I’m not saying you do, but I am saying to observe yourself in case you do and then get busy not doing that so much.

So just to recap, here are 30 top tips for feminine introverts:

  1. Explain, lovingly, to your family why you need alone time.
  2. To recharge, a walk outside (with or without dog)
  3. Regular doses of stillness
  4. A great song that I love
  5. A nap
  6. Turning down the volume
  7. Walking away from things that seem unappealing
  8. Read a book
  9. Crafting
  10. Relax in an Epsom Salt bath
  11. Working out
  12. Quiet commuting — No music, no news, no talking with others on the way to work
  13. 15 Minute “no talking buffer” after work when you arrive home
  14. Holding boundaries – saying NO even when you want to say YES simply to preserve your energy.
  15. Petting or playing with your cat or dog
  16. Journaling. It helps “unclog the filter” and puts me back in touch with my own voice
  17. Listening to music
  18. Time alone in nature
  19. Time pursuing personal development (online courses, books)
  20. Go back to hotel room after giving a presentation
  21. Wearing earplugs or headphones in public
  22. At larger work events, I just try to find one or two people to chat with, rather than meeting everyone in the room
  23. Before a big event, spend time figuring out who I want to connect with in advance.
  24. During a busy day when I’ve had several client calls – I need a solid hour to myself so I can center myself before jumping into family stuff.
  25. stop identifying with it so intensely
  26. Design “white space” into your life and work so you have free open thinking/relaxing/daydreaming time
  27. Breath exercises
  28. Taking a shower and switching from hot to cold water to get my energy going.
  29. Transcendental meditation twice a day
  30. Play, pleasure, sensuality and sexuality can be as healing as quiet alone time.
 
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113 Truce with Food with Ali Shapiro

The Cravings Whisperer Podcast

Welcome back my Clan of the Crave Bears! We got a whole huge crop of great reviews this month. We are so close to 200 reviews! So, if you have a moment drop by iTunes and leave a review. Make sure you put your name on your review so I know who to announce when I pick a winner for the $1000 swag bag! This month’s winner is Jill from MN. If you haven’t joined my contest I have every month go over to iTunes and leave a review and that’s all you have to do.

Today, I’m talking to Ali Shapiro about how to have a truce with food. Ali is a life coach and co-host of the “Insatiable” podcast and a speaker. She combined her training in functional medicine at the Institute of Integrative Nutrition and her masters’ degree in organizational dynamics at UPENN to create her “Truce with Food” method while in graduate school. She is also a 24-year cancer survivor! Her “Truce with Food” method is about ending the gymnastics with food that women get exhausted from. It’s about trying to be good with food but not too strict. How do you do this? Ali and I are going to get into that. Ali has an incredible wealth of knowledge. Please enjoy this interview with Ali Shapiro.

alexandra-jamieson-featured-ar-ali-shapiro

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Research shows when people don’t grow up in safe environments that changes brain chemistry @DeliciousAlex Click To Tweet

Show Notes:

  • How long has Ali been working with women?
  • What made her want to help other women?
  • Why did she think she needed to be on a diet when she was 8?
  • Did she have safety in her own body?
  • What does it mean to feel safe in your body?
  • How does she help women to be able to trust their bodies?
  • What is the difference between safety and familiarity?
  • What has she seen in girls who played sports and risks?
  • What is the “good girl” syndrome?
  • What is the breakdown of how she helps women with their bodies in her program “Truce with Food”?

 

Resources:

www.alishapiro.com/truce-with-food

Women Who Run with the Wolves – Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes

 

Girls who play sports are less likely to stay in or start an abusive relationship @DeliciousAlex Click To Tweet

 

 

 
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112 Happy Vulva + Opioid Addiction – Dr. Anna Cabeca and Melissa Ramos

The Cravings Whisperer Podcast

We all want to feel happy in our bodies, right? You have no idea how to get there … and maybe don’t realize how important it really is.

In this episode I get deep with Melissa Ramos, women’s health expert from Canada. Melissa focuses on Chinese nutrition therapy and owner of “Sexy Food Therapy Inc”. She helps women feel sexy from the inside out focusing on digestion and hormone imbalances. We are going to talk about the disturbing trend that is affecting millions of people in America, prescription drug addiction. It’s shocking how many people are using and abusing opioids these days. We need to address the root causes of the addiction. Melissa and I will go into the disconnection with community, lack of support and the overwhelming stress in people’s lives.

Then I will have on Dr. Anna Cabeca, a good friend and hormonal expert. Anna is a board certified OBGYN and a regenerative antiaging medicine expert. She is the creator of “Magical Menopause” as well as “Mighty Maca Greens”. We are going to talk about my new favorite product, her new Julva cream. I cannot tell you enough good things about this product for our delicate female parts. There may be some words or topics that you don’t want younger kids to hear so you may want to pause and scoot them out the door or put in your headphones.

 

alexandra-jamieson-featured-artmelissa-ramos-anna-cabeca

You can Subscribe to the podcast on iTunesSoundCloudStitcher or TuneIn
Everyone is addicted to something! @SexyFoodtherapy Click To Tweet

Show Notes:

  • When did it start, that women were being diagnosed as being broken?
  • Why are women so heavily medicated?
  • Can the foods you may be eating affect you neurologically?
  • How does the bacteria in your body affect your anxiety?
  • How bad are the side effects of opioids?
  • What is depression?
  • What is “Sexy Lady Balls”?
  • What kind of probiotic should you get?
  • What are women coming to see Dr. Anna Cabeca for?
  • What can be used for vaginal dryness?
  • What can affect our hormone production?
  • Should you douche?
  • Should women smell like a flower?
  • What is Julva Cream and how does is work?
  • What is DHEA?

 

Resources:

 

You need to take responsibility for your resentments.@SexyFoodTherapy Click To Tweet

 

 

 
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111 How To Live A Good Life with Jonathan Fields

The Cravings Whisperer Podcast

Welcome back my Clan of the Crave Bears! Today’s guest, Jonathan Fields is a wonderful man! I met him through my husband several years ago. When I first met him I didn’t know what a big deal he was. He has written several books, bought and sold several businesses and now he has written a new book called “How to Live a Good Life: Soulful Stories, Surprising Science and Practical Wisdom”. You might be thinking “seriously another book about how to live a good life?” but so many people are living this life so disconnected, disengaged, dissatisfied and stuck. Whatever is out there isn’t getting through.

Jonathan’s book “How to Live a Good Life” is your antidote! You can test it out with your own personal experiences. It’s drawn from the intersection of science and spirituality and Jonathan’s own years-long quest. This book offers a simple and powerful model, good life buckets. You spend thirty days filling your buckets and reclaiming your life. “How to Live a Good Life” is not just a book to be read. It’s a path to possibilities to be walked and lived!

The best stuff in life happens in the place of discomfort and that’s where possibility takes root. Click To Tweet

 

alexandra-jamieson-featured-art-jonathan-fields

You can Subscribe to the podcast on iTunesSoundCloudStitcher or TuneIn

 

Show Notes:

  • What is the story behind the story?
  • What is Jonathan’s mission statement?
  • Why did he use “How to Live a Good Life” for his title?
  • How did he make living in New York “livable”?
  • How did he come up with the cover of his book?
  • What are the three buckets?
  • What is embodied knowledge?
  • Why does it feel so hard to create a good life?
  • What are some places that people feel plugged in?
  • Is there an increase in narcissism?
  • Why don’t people go through with their ideas?

 

Trust that what you’re thinking about just might work! Click To Tweet

Resources:

How to Live a Good Life: Soulful Stories, Surprising Science and Practical Wisdom

Hidden Brain Podcast – www.hiddenbrain.org

The Road to Character by David Brooks

bit.ly/cravecast – Leave a review to enter the contest for the $1000 October Swag Bag

 

 

 
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