Excited to be the cover story for Experience Life Magazine this month:
Click here to read the whole story – or watch the behind the scenes video interview!
Excited to be the cover story for Experience Life Magazine this month:
Click here to read the whole story – or watch the behind the scenes video interview!
Thanks. I was just telling everyone that I totally scrapped my talk, and this is the only slide that I’m going to be using. Yes! I like that I … I think of myself as the nice, juicy filling in between Brené Brown and Amy Schumer. While I’m going to be energetically speaking to the women in the audience, I am also speaking to and for the men in the audience. I love men. I have my man in the audience. Bob, my fiancé is here.
I want to talk about why women in leadership as an idea is important. What the problems are for more of us getting into leadership. How we can honor the feminine. I’m going to take you through some exercises, so you might want to put your stuff down. It’ll only take a minute for us to get to that point, but you’re going to be standing up, I warn you.
I was a professional vegan for quite a long time. Towards the beginning of my professional vegan-ism, which by the way, was the right choice. My body needed it. It healed me. It was fantastic. Then at the beginning of this adventure into food and healing, I met this guy … I picked him up in a bar, I’ll be honest. We fell in love, and we ended up making a movie together called Super Size Me. Did anybody see Super Size Me? Okay.
I was the vegan chef girlfriend in the background rolling her eyes as my then boyfriend ate nothing but McDonald’s for a month, and got very very sick. That movie allowed us … It was like lightening in a bottle. We went on Oprah. We went to the Oscars. It was fantastic. I became professionally vegan, and wrote 3 vegan cook books, and had this brand as a vegan expert. Work great for me in my mid 20s. Then I got to my mid 30s.
I don’t know if anybody told you this, but your body changes as you get older. I was also going through a divorce from said co-creator of Super Size Me. Had a little boy. A lot of stress. My body started to fall apart again. So this diet that had helped me in my mid 20s was now not working so well. My hormones were a disaster. I was exhausted, I was anemic, and I started craving meat. Yay! (laughs) Yes. We’ll have bacon later.
In marketing, I believe they call what happened next a “Shit Show.” Where I had to thank God for Brené Brown’s book Daring Greatly. t was literally my bible as I was going through this struggle, trying to come to terms with the fact that I was now secretly eating meat, and hocking my 3 vegan cook books. What I began to realize was that what I was hiding was a lot of food shame and body shame, that what I needed as a human being had changed, and that didn’t make me a bad person. I had to learn to listen to my body. This is where this whole next 8 minutes is going.
When we listen to our bodies, whether you’re male or female, or somewhere in between, or outside of, it doesn’t matter. Your body is what makes you you. When I talk about women in leadership, we have to address the weird gorilla elephant in the room. We’re talking about physical and chemical differences. Yes, the female body is what makes female leadership different, and sometimes complicated. We have to learn how to honor that, and listen to it.
I’m going to ask you all to stand up. As I talk with you, I want you all to do what I call the “Wonder Woman Pose.” The reason why we’re doing this … It works for men and for women. You just want your chest a little bit out, and your head a little bit raised. We’re going to do this for about 2 minutes. Why we’re doing this is because this is actually raising your testosterone. For women, that’s especially powerful. There’s a whole Ted Talk on this. I did not invent this, but I use it and I share it, with women especially.
When we’re in a leadership role, or trying to step into leadership, we have trouble with the balance between competence and confidence. We’re very competent. We know what we’re talking about. We’re smart, we’re skilled, we have tools, we have experience, but we don’t feel confident enough to interrupt. To say our opinion. To lead the charge. I recommend doing this “Wonder Woman” “Super Hero” pose, for a couple of minute before every meeting, before every tough conversation.
Skip directly to chapter 8 in my book, Women, Food, and Desire to talk more about this. It also helps with the female libido. Which I also believe is a very powerful aspect of being a female leader. It’s really acknowledging and honoring all aspects of who you are. All right, we’ve just hit 2 minutes. Perfect. Sit down. I wish I could do a spit test and show you all, and test your testosterone levels, and show you how powerful that was. Do that before you have your next meeting, before you have your next big conversation. You’re going to stand up again in a minute, so don’t get your notes out.
What was challenging for me changing my brand in full view of the world, saying, “Hey guys, I’m no longer vegan.” and watching half of my newsletter list unsubscribe, and having thousands of people flame me online. Lots, and lots, and lots, and lots, and lots of negative comments. Death threats, because I was now eating meat to help heal my physical imbalances.
It’s very challenging for us to be authentic when, as women, our number 1 secret shame, as Brené Brown pointed out yesterday, is body and appearance shame. This helps up ameliorate that a little bit. But how do we begin to actually listen to our bodies, and feel that authenticity, as Bruno was so beautifully pointing out. How do we listen? How do we be authentic? How do you hear this inside what’s going on, when we women, one of our strengths is also our Achilles heel?
We’re so good at figuring out what everybody else needs. We are psychic … Well, we think we’re psychic. Sometimes we are, and sometimes we’re just mind reading and going crazy places, but we read the energy of a room so well. We know what other people need before they know it themselves, but all of that gets in the way of us hearing our own truth. I want to take you through another exercise. Go ahead and stand up again.
We’re going a little bit more saucy. I want you to put your hands on your hips. We’re just going to do a little figure 8 with your hips. This is just loosening up this part of your body. I know, you guys are having to turn sideways. I appreciate you playing al- It’s okay. You’re doing great. Looks good. We tend to hold a lot of tension right here. We suck it in, we don’t want anything flapping over the side of anywhere. But there’s so much happening in here, especially in the female body. It’s your digestive system. It’s your emotional brain. Your gut brain has as many neurotransmitters as the brain in your head does.
When we are tight there, when we have this scourge of digestive issues … IBS, gluten intolerance, leaky gut … We have so much stress here, we need to start loosening this part of our body up, and stop hating and holding in our physical self so much. Helping to loosen up that physical shame that Brené Brown was talking about, it really takes getting into your body. All right, go ahead and sit down again. Thank you for playing along.
How can we consistently check in with ourselves, check in with our bodies? Listening to our cravings might actually be one avenue into it. That’s what I go into further into this … Again, Women, Food, and Desire, it’s the book, it’s in the book store, go get it, it’s awesome. There you go. Listening to our bodies is actually done by listening to your cravings. What does your body want?
Brené talks about this again in her new book, Rising Strong. I feel like I’m hocking her book more than I am mine. That’s okay. She talks about learning to sit with your emotions. Sit with your physical self. As a way of being authentic. How do you do that? How do you sit with and listen to … I’ve tried meditation. Believe me, I’m not that good at it. Sitting in silence just makes me crazy, but I can listen to what my body is asking for. That’s why I take people through a lot of physical exercises, and I talk about play and pleasure a lot.
We humans learn when we play. When we take the judgement out of it, it’s about having fun and being engaged, and seeing what happens next. It’s like one big improv class. When you can be physically in your body, and listen to yourself, loosen up your gut a bit, and really hear what your physical self is saying. A gut feeling about someone, nervous knots about something, butterflies in your stomach. That’s all information. That’s all ways that your body is talking to you. Again, the feminine in leadership has been downplayed. Emotion in leadership, listening to yourself, which is your body, has been downplayed and set aside.
I think that it’s time that we start listening more to that, and honoring our cravings, and following our desires. Even if it’s for chocolate. Even if it’s for the mocha frappa-latta-chino at 3:00 every day. Whatever it is that you want, get curious. Ask, “What is my body wanting right now? Am I having an emotion? Am I nervous?” There seems to be no place for that in business, in marketing. But marketing is about story, right? It’s about authenticity. We have to be able to do that for ourselves first, if we’re going to be able to do that for the company, or the product that we represent.
I think as marketers, as sales people, it’s our responsibility to be solid in ourselves, and honor what it is that we need, so that we can honestly come to someone and say, “This is what I believe. This is what I want. Do you want to engage with me about this?” And they believe you when you’ve done that work … When you’ve done that inquiry. You’re way more attractive and interesting to be with and talk with, and develop a relationship with when you have that confidence … When you have that play and sass in your energy. People respond to it. I’m so glad to have had a chance to talk with you all. Thank you so much.
…scoliosis, pain, and 2-years in a back brace
…sexual shame and divorce
…vegan to non-vegan
Surviving the waves of our lives take a lot of strength and self- knowing.
From the age of 5 my mom taught me yoga, how to eat and cook seasonal organic foods, how to use massage and alternative medicine to care for my physical and emotional pain, which helped me avoid the pain killers and Prozac I was headed for.
The tools are there for all of us, if we just know how to find + use them.
Tools for healing our bodies…
tools for healing our relationship with food…
tools for healing our disconnected souls by coming into fun community with others…
there is so much to learn!
Come and join me, SoulScape Journeys, and a group of wellness warriors in LA for my first ever west coast Soul Food Session “play shop.”
In this 4-hour group experience, you’ll:
– get clear about what your body is really asking for when cravings strike
– discover new foods to help balance your energy, mind and body
– live coaching to foster healing insights and new action plans
– finally know what kind of exercise is best for your unique body
– heal past wounds that are lurking in your physical self, and…
— fall in love with living in your body on a new level.
We’ll begin at 1pm at Indigo Lab LA, and I invite you to join us.
You’ll leave knowing so much more about what your body is telling you, so that you can make the best food and lifestyle choices…
You’ll feel safe and free of shame, able to connect with others on a deeper level…
You’ll be free to step into your strengths, with a new community of friends who have your back.
Well, not JUST masturbation, but anything that brings you sincere physical pleasure that also balances your hormones. And arousal and orgasm are most easily achieved through masturbation, especially if you’re single, or in a sexless relationship.
5 reasons masturbation is a MUST for balancing hormones (and dropping a few pounds):
1. According to the 2009 University of Michigan study[i], orgasm help the body release oxytocin, the “love + bonding” hormone, which in turn lowers cortisol,
the main stress hormone chronically elevated in many women (like me!) and lead to stress eating, and weight loss resistance.
2. Higher levels of oxytocin makes us happy, which keeps those emotionally-triggered food cravings for sugars, cheese, and other “happy foods” at bay. This surge also raises levels of a substance called CCK, which helps control your appetite. Just start! Even if you’re not an expert, your own digits are ready to help you begin at home. Oxytocin levels are usually increased simply through the physical stimulation of the clitoris, vagina, cervix, and breasts. So even if you don’t reach climax, you’ll still be releasing these powerful neurotransmitters. Women who enjoy more sexual stimulation have more balanced estrogen and testosterone. These hormones add fire to sexual desire, improve mood and memory and can even help prevent abdominal fat.
3. In my book, Women, Food, And Desire, I tell the story of a client who wasn’t dating, and wasn’t masturbating. She had also been suffering tummy trouble for years, and worked a very stressful job. Bloating, gas, and the dreaded “muffin top” that wouldn’t budge. I took her to Babeland, a clean, well-lit place for sex toys, and we talked with a knowledgeable staff member who helped her pick out her first non-toxic vibrator. After a couple of weeks of self-exploration, she noticed a major difference in her digestion! And she certainly had a nice spring in her step!
4. Daydream, girl! Another study[ii] reveals that sexy daydreams release testosterone in women – which means, when you read erotic fiction, or watch any kind of porn that excites you, your body will begin anticipating encounter, which naturally raises your libido. Babeland.com has some great options for the desire seeker.
5. Orgasms help us sleep, which may be the best reason of all to masturbate. Oxytocin, that wonderful love drug, creates an overall feeling of relaxation and even sleepiness. Vasopressin and melatonin, two other neurotransmitters associated with sleep, are also released during orgasm.
Masturbation happens in most relationships, so if you’re not talking about it with your partner, bring it up. Share this information with them!
If you’re single, and not masturbating regularly, start including self-pleasure in your life, consistently.
The psychological and emotional benefits are so helpful for what ails us:
Wouldn’t it be nice to feel relaxed, satisfied, and good without needing a cupcake?
For more great insights on the benefits, myths, and latest science around masturbation, check out the latest Crave Cast podcast episodes!
I’ll be interviewing some of the top experts on female desire, sexual health and more!
Ever think any of these?
I should really lose some weight.
I should look for a new job. This one makes me unhappy.
I should really start eating better.
I should cut back the hours I am working.
I should really figure out what makes me happy, and do it more.
Should is just a dis-empowering word, so if you are using it, you most likely don’t really want to do what you are “shoulding” yourself to do.
Used to express obligation or duty. You should send her a note.
Used to express probability or expectation. They should arrive at noon.
Used to express conditionality or contingency. If she should fall, then so would I.
You may want the result of losing weight or finding a job you love, but inherent in the “should’ statement above is the connotation that it is an obligation, not something you want to do.
There is a lack of desire and a sense of guilt present in these statements.
There is also a sense of expectation.
AND, this is all GREAT information. Whenever you “should” yourself about doing ANYTHING, there is some aspect of doing this thing you feel you “should” do that seems unpleasant or uncomfortable, that you really don’t wish to do.
So, do you really want to shame yourself into doing it???
That never works does it? When anyone else tries to guilt you into doing something, does that ever feel good? You generally resent doing something you are guilt-ed into doing, right?
And, this entire conversation is energetically draining.
So, whenever you hear yourself say the word “should” can you please stop and think about what you are expecting in this scenario?
What about this seems difficult to you?
Who has found time to:
Go to a networking event?
Have dinner or lunch with a friend you enjoy?
Watch your favorite TV show, the one to which you are addicted?
Going to that networking event may help you make an important business connection.
Having dinner or lunch with your friend will be fun and supportive.
Watching your Favorite TV show will give you something to talk about at work and be a fun distraction.
So, if you can figure out something you can do that will support weight loss that also provides you with some other more immediate, emotional pay off, you are more likely to do it!
Walking in the park with a friend gives you a calorie burn plus some friendship- fun and support.
Riding a stationary bike while reading a great novel or watching a great TV series will make you want to get on that bike to see what happens next.
Taking a workout class or dance class that inspires and exhilarates you will make you want to go back for more!
You are most likely NOT going to do something that you think you “should” do, so watch for that word dancing around in your head or your conversations.
The word “Should” is just an alert that:
You have an expectation that the only way you can get the result you want is via hardship.
The ways you see this thing you want happening don’t have any positive emotional pay offs.
You think what you want is impossible for you.
There are so many fun and engaging ways to exercise and feel great in your body!
There are lots of really delicious ways to eat healthy!
It’s way easier to take steps to get a new job when you believe it is possible to work in a situation you love!
If you would like to discover just how you “should” yourself and how you can get the results you want by taking actions you really LOVE and ENJOY doing, join me and my Buddies, Lara Riggio and amazing psychotherapist to the stars, Terri Cole for an amazing day in which we will be helping you experience how you can get Get it All Done with more ease, grace and joy.
Meet + bond with women like you: join this empowered posse of like-minded sisters, and know you are never alone.
Come get your health + inspiration on, and still have time in your Saturday schedule for your errands and a mani/pedi.
So, in addition to all the priceless strategies, tools and support you are going to receive during the day, you will be receiving over $160 of free stuff to help you practice what you discover throughout the day!
This transformational workshop is led by bestselling author, functional nutrition coach, and chef, Alex Jamieson. Alex will guide you in discovering the true meanings of your food cravings, and teach you how understanding these cravings is the key to satisfying your deepest desires. Along with Alex, some of Asheville’s top teachers, natural healers, and conscious cooks will take you on excursions to explore, concoct, and connect with your body and how to meet your desires in a way that serves your well being. In this workshop you will learn about the core of your desires, detoxing your system, feeding your cravings, healing your relationship with food, and embracing your body.
If you love pleasure and food, you will gain life-long wisdom in this week-long retreat.
DATE: December 6-12, 2015. LOCATION: Asheville, NC.
Learn the real reasons behind all your cravings––for food, sleep, sex, movement, companionship and inspiration––and how to satiate your cravings in a loving, healthy way. Experience natural healing, emotional release, pure pleasure, and deep connection. Throughout the week, you will be learning about the following:
To make peace with food & embrace your body
The importance of pleasure & how to prioritize it
How cleansing can connect you with your authentic self
What your cravings mean & creative recipes to satisfy them
The secrets to thriving relationships, vitality & positive aging
Heart habits & healing rituals to release the past & move forward
Transformational dietary changes & mindset tools to improve food habits
The Conscious Kitchen: Active meditations for a healthier you
Nature Walks: Connecting with the beauty & stillness of nature’s wisdom
Herbs for Healthy Hormones: Making medicine for menstruation to menopause
Everyday Aphrodisiacs: Cacao concoctions, herbal teas & tonics for a sensual life
Emotional Freedom Technique: A.k.a “tapping” your way to food freedom & ease
“Combining humor and candor with a smart, science-based approach, Alexandra Jamieson helps you develop a healthier, sexier, more vital existence. With practical, easy-to-implement strategies, she shows you how to transcend obstacles and tap into your deepest purpose.” ~ JJ Virgin, nutrition & fitness expert and bestselling author
Asheville, North Carolina is based in a food-centric and ecologically lush bioregion. Surrounded by the oldest mountains on the planet, the hoppin’ downtown is full of local artisans, organic restaurants, farmer’s markets, street buskers, yoga studios, and independent everything. It’s the first Bee City, USA, the #1 Beer City in the country, andNational Geographic named it one of the best cities in the world, while Good Morning America recently featured Asheville as their top city to visit in 2015. There’s tons to do, so stay a couple extra days if you can.
The workshop location for the morning portion of the workshop is at the beautiful Homewood stone castle in the historic neighborhood of Montford — a short five minute drive from the heart of downtown. The afternoon workshops will rotate between various homesteads, gardens, and woodlands — roughly within a 15-minute drive from downtown. Carpooling is encouraged and connections will be made for those without cars.
Did you know Women, Food, And Desire hit #1 on Amazon in Popular Psychology/Sexuality, #2 in Health, and was named one of 5 books to Love Yourself Well by fitbottomedgirls.com, as well as the top winter non-fiction book by goop.com!?
That’s one of the reasons why I’m celebrating with my #20til40 give-away-a-thon, giving away 20 days of my favorite products and goodies that keep me happy and well.
I usually don’t get all that excited about birthdays, but this one feels BIG!
There is good science that points to an energy + momentum when we reach a decade birthday. My intention is for 40 to be vibrant, soul-deep, fun, and meaningful.
Books, juices, my favorite healthy products, jewelry, grocery delivery services, and more are just a tiny way for me to say thank you for being a part of my online tribe – my “Clan of the Crave Bears!”
Talking with Kathie Lee + Hoda on the Today Show about Women, Food, And Desire and the Cravings Cleanse was a blast!
These ladies were really interested in the book – even if they kept talking about shrimp scampi!
Watch the full interview here:
Come join me as I coach women (and a few awesome dudes) who want to put the message of Women, Food, And Desire into action, with the new 8-week Cravings Cleanse.
Are you reading Women, Food, And Desire?
Want to go deeper, ask Alex a question, or share your insights about your experience of the book?
Women, Food, And Desire Book Club
Thursday, February 5th at 6:30pm Eastern
Call in by phone: (425) 440-5100
Guest pin code: 358597#
Full list of local Numbers:
Listen in via computer: