Ever go through one of those stretches of time when life seems to be giving you about as much as you can possibly handle, if not more?
Yeah, me too.
This has been a roller coaster of a year for me, and I’ve been hearing from some of you that your lives have felt out-of-control or more than you can handle.
Often it feels like it comes all at once.
Just to give you some details:
- I got my next book deal from a major publisher (good)
- My mom got diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer (bad)
- My partner published his own book (good)
- My son was diagnosed with extreme dyslexia (bad)
- My mom died (horrible)
- My dear friend and mentor got diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer (WTF? Horrible)
- My son learned to swim and ride a bike (amazing)
- My friend died from cancer, and two more friends were diagnosed (tears & breakdown)
So, yes. Life is a roller coaster, and the ups and downs, “awful” and “awesome” are unknowable and unpredictable.
The truth is, we can’t control a lot of what happens in life, yet we do have the power to react to it in ways that move us forward, strengthen us, and bring us closer to those we love.
I know that resilience, the ability to bend without breaking, to stay strong and make it through the storm even though the winds toss your hair and make you feel scared, is a skill you can learn, a strength you can practice.
To grow and protect your well-being, you need the ability to bounce back.
To get through trauma and drama without breaking, you need to practice.
To live through major challenges and thrive, not just survive, requires health, support, community, and hope.
And it isn’t just something you need for major tests in life, we need resilience to get through every day.
If you’re in stress mode all day long, it depletes your willpower, hope, and patience. Multi-tasking, social media addiction, sugar binges, and a lack of relaxing, pleasurable movement keep us far from resilient.
And when we don’t feed our bodies and support our health with the foods we need, our capacity for resilience is diminished.
That’s why I teach my clients about skilled resilience:
The capacity to recover quickly from difficulties (toughness), while performing well with training, experience and knowledge.
Skilled resilience means eating the right foods (most of the time), moving my body so she stays strong and flexible, finding pleasure and joy every day, staying connected with the friends and family who support me, staying open to the wonders in life that keep me hopeful and excited to be alive.
I couldn’t have weathered this storm of grief in the last year without the skilled resilience I’ve learned and honed over the past decade.
And my clients tell me that the training they learn through my cleanse programs gives them the experience and knowledge to give their bodies exactly what they need to maintain their center, their balance, their truth.
My client Sandi experienced a rough patch and needed support to get back to feeling good in her body:
- her dad died
- her boyfriend left
- her job got super stressful
- her commute got longer
- she wanted sugar, fat and salt all day long and was feeling exhausted and impatient
When I started working with Sandi, we started with the most important guiding question I can ask anyone:
How do you want to feel?
Once we defined that Sandi wanted to feel calm, free, and strong, we were able to look at her food choices in a new way. It wasn’t about “eat this – it has fewer calories” – she could look at a menu and choose a food because it would help her feel calm, free and strong. Once she understood her cravings type, she could make the perfect food choices based on how she was feeling and how she wanted to feel later.
This was a totally new way of choosing food, and it began her on her journey to a body she loves, with energy to spare.
Learning to tune into her body’s needs, her soul-filled desires for calm and strength, allowed Sandi to listen to her body in a new way.
This is one of the most powerful aspects of skilled resilience.
It’s a practice of awareness, a daily inquiry into what will help you feel the way you want to feel, while honoring what’s true without judging what you see.
It may seem simple, but it isn’t always easy.
In the coming weeks I’ll be talking more about cravings, what they can teach you, and how to develop your own resiliency with grace and strength.
I’ll also be announcing my next group program soon (It’s called the Cravings Cleanse) – and it will draw together all of my best lessons, experiments, tools, resources, and community to help you act and move towards building your own resiliency with grace and strength.
I want to hear from you: In the comments below, tell me what skills you know you already have that help you stay resilient. You may not have thought you had the tools, but I’ll bet if you really look, you could tell a tale of how you’ve weathered storms and come out stronger in the end.
You could also share what ONE thing you know you could be doing differently to help grow your resilience: