Can you think your way thin?
Do your thoughts affect your body, how you eat, and your metabolism? YES. #HealthYeah.
Case in point: my flower pots.
Now, I know you’ve heard the sayings –
I’ve been reading E2, by Pam Grout. It’s an entertaining book on energy experiments that “prove your thoughts create your reality.” Bold statement, right?
I decided to put one of Pam’s experiments to the test, and enrolled my 8 year old son, various friends, and my garden into the plan.
The experiment is based on old wisdom that our thoughts have energy and power, and the basic premise is this:
I took two identical pots, filled them with soil from the same bag of dirt, planted 4 nasturtium seeds from the same packet, placed them next to each other, and began the experiment.
Every day as I watered my garden, I would count to 3, sprinkling each pot with the same amount of water. Then I would say loving things to the pot on the left, while saying mean, nasty things to the pot on the right.
Some days my son would come upstairs and “yell at the seeds” with me. He got a real kick out of it. When I had friends over, I would invite them to be nice to the left pot, and mean to the right pot, and we would kind of gang up on or befriend the germinating seeds.
The “happy pot” flourished, and 2 of the 4 nasturtium seeds germinated into flowering plants. Grass and edible Lamb’s Quarters, and edible weed, sprouted as well.
The “bad pot” floundered. None of the 4 nasturtium seeds sprouted, and only a few weeds took root.
I have to admit, it was hard to be mean to the “bad pot” – every day I walked away from the experiment feeling a little gross.
Being openly mean to anything living feels gross.
But we do that to our bodies every day, don’t we?
You Are The Artist Of Your Life, You Are The Gatekeeper Of Your Body
It’s up to you to think differently.
It’s within your power to grow a flourishing garden in your cells and your soul.
What thoughts do you choose to think about your body?
Your thoughts to yourself can heal…
…or your thoughts to yourself can damage.
Your thoughts to your body can uplift and re-energize…
…or your thoughts to your body can degrade and shame.
As you look towards the possibilities this new way of thinking has for you, including all the personal desires and cravings that call to you, I want to extend my hand and offer myself as a part of your circle of support.
To be totally honest, I’ve accomplished a lot in my life, in many realms, but NONE of it, have I done alone.
When I’m looking at making a big change, or taking on a new way of being, or when I want something that just feels beyond my ability to create, I will raise my hand, phone a friend, shout out loud “HELP!”
If you are in this space, with visions and hope for a future that glows with self-love, joy, freedom, peace and energy, then I welcome you to go. for. it.
Feel into the image that you see and feel, and seek the support you need to make the transformation real.
As part of my mission to help women (and the men who love us) to live into our desires and natural state of health, I’m doing something different and offering a COMPLIMENTARY 30-minute 1-on-1 personalized Vitality Discovery Session with me.
That’s 30 minutes of personalized, uninterrupted time with me without costing you a cent.
I will help you discover what difference you want to see in your life from dropping the extra pounds and feeling free with food.
AND what’s holding you back from getting what you want.
We’ll intentionally approach these topics with love, kindness, and compassion – those good thoughts that helped my garden flourish! Let’s skip the extra shame and frustration, shall we?
Then, we’ll make a plan to get you what you want, in a new, honorable, unique way. Joy, play, fun, pleasure, and a soulful plan of action.
I know you could spend 30 minutes doing something else – email, laundry, chores, drinking wine and eating chocolate…anything.
Yet, I believe that when you and I spend time in this conversation, we can weave magic and a new way of living in and loving your body.
I have space for 10 Vitality Discovery Sessions, and if you feel called, I hope you’ll take me up on this very special invitation.
P.S. Though I am a big lover and student of digital learning (video learning, etc,) I’ve personally received many of the biggest breakthroughs of my life through one-on-one conversations. That’s one of the reasons I love working with women (and a few cool dudes) on such an intimate basis. When you are deeply seen and heard, held and understood, and then expertly guided, lives can and do transform, and quickly. Click here to take me up on this FREE offer.
Did you know what you eat has a huge effect on your libido? That red velvet cupcake is more dangerous than the Red Room of Pain…
According to the most recent Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, (DSM-5, 2013), the American Psychiatric Association’s classification and diagnostic tool, lack of desire (classified as HSDD or hypoactive sexual desire disorder, or female sexual interest/arousal disorder) and the related anxiety it causes, is the most common of women’s sexual complaints.
This can include a lack of sexual desire that causes distress, disinterest, and inability to achieve orgasm when orgasm was once easy. And orgasm, when accessible, is one of the best healing tools a woman, and a couple, can use to boost her vitality and health.
We want our desire back, and contrary to popular belief, a female viagra is not the answer.
In my book Women, Food, And Desire, I detail how the wrong diet can obliterate a woman’s libido. And how a trip to the health food store and Babeland.com can reignite and heal your hormones, vitality, and mood.
You may think this epidemic is effecting older women, on the verge of middle age, but the evidence shows young women are just as susceptible to this crippling lack of desire. A broad study of 31,000 U.S. females 18 and older published in 2008 in Obstetrics and Gynecology magazine, found that about 43 percent of women reported sexual problems. This lack of desire causes distress, and anxiety, as well as being linked with depression.
If you’re like me, you’ve noticed that as you grow through the years, your body changes – and so does your desire for the physical pleasures in life! (I know – duh! But really, our hormones really shift as we age, and what we eat is a major part of that.)
Sugar is one of the top foods that effects our libido, both emotionally and physically.
Funny thing is (and by funny, I mean cruel), the more out of whack our hormones get, the more we rely on sugar as our main source of physical pleasure…
…when what our mammal bodies really need (and crave) is sensual pleasure.
Here’s how sugar wrecks our hormones, and below you’ll find my top resources to help you quit your groove-killing candy habit:
1. Sugar kills testosterone:
Insulin resistance, caused by a diet high in refined carbohydrates, including white flour, sugar, and alcohol, drives down testosterone in both men and women. Both sex drive and function (think erectile disfunction, which also effects the clitoris, not just the penis) take a hit when blood sugar levels are high.
2. Sugar saps your energy:
High-glycemic carbohydrates spike your blood sugar, leading to insulin over-production to pull your blood sugar back down. The roller coaster of low then high then low blood sugar results in fatigue, which is one reason why a big pasta dinner with wine knocks you out of the mood. High sugar consumption also leads to decreased orexin, a neurotransmitter that regulates arousal and wakefulness, which leads to fatigue, which leads to snoring, rather than snogging.
3. Sugar = stress:
Sugar is the most inflammatory food around, which leads to physical stress in every aspect of your body and mind. High insulin levels will elevate cortisol, a main stress hormone. Chronic high cortisol leads to muscle break down, fat storage, and squashed libido. Not a sweet picture, right?
If one of your big desires in life is to feel juicy, sexy, and alive, then it’s time to cut the sugar, sweet one.
Balance your hormones, honey. Get your groove back!
May is the 20th Anniversary of National Masturbation Month!
It’s time to turn on the lights + get clear, sweet ones.
It’s time to love yourself well.
I’m going to talk about some stuff that’s even more taboo
than your weight, and is as crucial to your health, life satisfaction + happiness:
Our sensuality…or how we give ourselves the healing power of physical pleasure.
Even typing that made my stomach drop.
I admit it: I still feel a bit nervous writing about sexual health + sexuality.
Then why for heaven’s sake am I doing it?
Because I know how important it is that we women
finally feel good in our bodies.
And because May is the 20th Anniversary of National Masturbation Month.
And I know how hard it is for ALL of us to talk about it…
and that it’s a secret piece of our health that has a huge impact
on how we feel IN + ABOUT our bodies.
How we feel about sex, food, and our physical need for pleasure is all tied together…
and there is too much shame around all of these.
I want all of us here in my tribe, my “clan of the crave bears,”
to love + feel confident in her (or his) own skin.
But most of us feel embarrassed by our bodies,
what we eat, and our sensual desires + needs.
They’re “touchy” subjects. (ok, enough joking – maybe)
We know that both can be wonderful (or so we’ve heard),
but we feel so awkward with them, that we try to get
through them quickly + without awareness.
See, I believe we keep ourselves in the dark + hide from
our food habits + sexual desires.
We’ve been fooled into thinking that if we don’t look at
our cravings + desires for both food + sex,
our problems with them will just go away.
But it’s a lie.
The less we pay attention,
the more we judge ourselves,
and the more we do both (food + physical pleasure) unconsciously.
Of this I’m certain: our unaware, rushed, judgmental way of
eating + treating our bodies is killing us.
We eat standing up, face in the fridge, quickly devouring dessert
as if we could erase the fact of what we’re eating…
And many of our sexual experiences are done with the lights off
(literally + figuratively), after a few drinks, as if the veil of alcohol +
darkness could make our embarrassment go away:
embarrassment of our bodies
embarrassment of our desires
hatred of our bodies
hatred of our cravings
It’s time to get clear + turn the lights on.
It’s time to talk about our desires + cravings.
It’s time to ask the questions + find the answers we need…
So that we can finally love our bodies, our lives + fully come alive.
Now is the perfect time to do this:
– the physical + psychological benefits of masturbation
– why so many of us (women especially) have a negative association with it
– how we can begin to practice specific techniques to help us:
– like + get to know our bodies better
– balance our hormones
– reduce our food cravings
– reduce + eliminate annoying urinary incontenence
1. the more familiar we are with what makes our own bodies feel good, the better we are at asking our partner for what we want, or the better boundaries we have with creating and maintaining relationships;
2. the better we are at asking our partners for what we want, the more we get clear on what we want in life;
3. the more clear we can be about what we want in life, and the more confidence we have about being able to create it ourselves, the more help we ask for + receive;
4. The more help we ask for in life, the more productive we are, the more supportive we feel, the happier we are, the less stressed out we feel, and the more creative we can be.
Too many of the “health + happiness” experts avoid the topic of sex,
as if it had nothing to do with our vitality, emotional food cravings, and hormone balancing.
They’re missing a huge key aspect of health + aliveness.
Why? Because it’s hard to talk about. It scares people.
But this silence is hurting all of us.
I’ll be writing about these delicate, yet important, topics all month,
and will post expert interviews every Friday on my Crave Cast podcast.
I hope you’ll listen, read, and share this with a friend as a way to move women’s health,
and this important conversation further.
Hey sweet ones,
This is in you, too:
I’ve never felt so connected to myself in my life. I need to work harder at reaching out for support, rather than for what is convenient.
~ C, in New York
The power of community that gathered for this cleanse – it has been so incredible!
~ I, in Palo Alto
I’ve lost 16 pounds…but more than that, all the tools and tips that we got were really enlightening too. More energy without caffeine, I’m going to the gym a few times a week, and I’m taking action and procrastinating less. I used to get stuck in beating myself up – and I’m making more forward movement. Upward spiraling.
~ P, in NJ
I was raised to be the good girl – not not make trouble. But through this eight weeks, I’ve been putting myself towards the top of the pile. It feels really good to be standing up for myself and not worry so much about “being a pain” just for asking for what I want.
~ C, in Texas
“You did this,” I told them.
I was just the guide.
These were a few of the comments from the last Cravings Cleanse + Mindset Makeover members…
I’ve put up the blog posts, written the worksheets, put together the recipes, and recorded the modules, but you did the work, I told them.
You raised your hand and said, “Yes, Alex. I’m ready.”
And there is power in saying YES.
Asking for help.
Putting yourself first.
I can give you every bit of knowledge, inspiration, recipes, positive psychology and more…
But it will be you who makes it happen.
Most of my cleanse members didn’t really believe they could stop eating sugar…and then they did.
Many of the women had never spent that much money on themselves…but then they did.
One woman didn’t think she could keep up with her kids, start-up business, and succeed at the cleanse…and she did.
It wasn’t me – it was them.
When you say YES, the wild forces of the Universe (God, Goddesses, Light, Life, what have you)
snap to attention and start moving your way.
Real, lasting transformation happens on the level of thoughtful action. It’s when you do IT differently… (this whole dropping pounds + boosting energy thing, AKA getting really, beautifully healthy)
…it’s about putting yourself and your health first instead of putting your needs at the bottom of the heap again.
…it’s about asking to join a community of women, even when you’re scared, instead of trying to do it alone again.
…it’s about bravely looking at the reason for your mean self-thoughts, instead of avoiding them with sugar again.
This is where the magic is. In YOU.
But you’re not doing it alone.
We’re here together – through eight glorious, shaky, illuminating weeks of live coaching, daily internet pow-wows.
The work is here, between us. It’s my calling, and it’s your time.
To get right with your body, to love food again, and to get your life back.
Doing it together gives us strength and clarity.
And it brings us closer to who we’re supposed to be.
Shopping, cooking, touching and smelling the ingredients…it’s a pleasure for me, connects me with my food, and is part of the experience of eating…99% of the time.
Then there are times when I’m running late, need to pick my kid up from school, the weather is terrible, or I’d just rather work on my podcast, not run to the market.
Yes, I order my groceries online. A lot.
Thrive Markets is GENIUS – you can order organic packaged foods from organic healthy snacks, organic oils, gluten-free, vegan, and paleo ingredients, as well as baby products, and supplements…get this…
It’s a great way to save time, and honestly money – if my time is worth over $100 an hour, and it will take me 1+ hour to grocery shop, or even an extra $20 to get a taxi back home to save time (I’m a New Yorker – and haven’t owned a car in 18 years)…I’d just rather hop online, choose the organic, healthy ingredients I want, and have it shipped to my door.
Seriously – Thrive is a brilliant way for anyone, single or loaded with children, to save time and money.
Last weekend I celebrated the first Sisterhood Day with 9 amazing friends.
We shared stories, challenges, desires, and scones.
I hope you’ll share these with your lady loves, too.
2 cups Bob’s Red Mill Gluten Free All-Purpose Flour (I get it here for cheap!)
2 Tablespoons Organic Sugar
1 tsp Baking Powder
1/4 tsp Baking Soda
1/2 tsp Salt
8 Tbsp Unsalted Butter or Coconut Oil, frozen and shredded with a cheese grater
1/2 cup mildly sweetened dried cranberries
¼ cup almond milk
¼ cup orange juice
2 teaspoons freshly grated orange zest
1 large egg or Flax Egg (1 heaping Tablespoons ground flax seed whisked with 4 Tablespoons hot water)
1. Adjust oven rack to lower-middle position and preheat oven to 400 degrees.
2. In a medium bowl, mix flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Grate butter or coconut oil into flour mixture on the large holes of a box grater; use your fingers to work in butter (mixture should resemble coarse meal), then stir cranberries
3. In a small bowl, whisk orange juice, almond milk, zest, and flax egg until smooth.
4. Using a fork, stir orange juice mixture into flour mixture until large dough clumps form. Use your hands to press the dough against the bowl into a ball. (The dough will be sticky in places, and there may not seem to be enough liquid at first, but as you press, the dough will come together.)
5. Place on a lightly floured surface and pat into a 7- to 8-inch circle about 3/4-inch thick.
6. Use a sharp knife to cut into 8-12 triangles; place on a cookie sheet (preferably lined with parchment paper), about 1 inch apart. Bake until golden, about 15 to 17 minutes.
7. Cool for 5 minutes and serve warm or at room temperature.
Do you have positive triggers?
As I come a few days shy of earning my certification in Positive Psychology, I’m so grateful for having learned so many science-based interventions to help people (myself and my family included) feel more positive emotions.
Positive emotions help us enjoy our lives more, look for possibilities, and even improve your immune system.
One way to invoke positive emotions is to have positive triggers in your life: things that remind you of your intention to be happy, or things that bring a smile to your face…and heart.
This kale necklace from my dear friend Molly Clarke, creator of Rock That Gem, is one of my favorite, fashionable positive triggers.
I called up Molly and she said “Sure! I’ll give away a kale necklace for your birthday celebration, Alex!” Thanks Molly!
So what are your positive triggers? What makes you smile + laugh? What puts you in a creative mood? What triggers your excitement, gratitude, and hope? For some of us it’s looking at pictures of a favorite vacation or loved one. Some of us have a favorite song. Others go for a quick walk, or smell a favorite essential oil. Some watch funny cat videos on YouTube. Others remind themselves of their goals.
That’s one of the biggest cravings we modern women (and men) report – we want more vitality! And we DON’T want to be caffeine addicts to get it.
I’ll be 40 in a few days, and lasting energy is a big goal for me – that means I get 7-9 hours of sleep, don’t drink much caffeine, and move every day.
But sometimes I need more, especially when I’m traveling, creating a new program, or just being a full-time mom.
One of the best food-based supplements for energy that I’ve found is Might Maca Greens – and I’d love to send you a nice big container as a gift!
What is Maca?
Mighty Maca has, well, MACA in it! Maca is a super-root that grows in the high Andes of Peru. It was used by the ancient Incas as both food and medicine.
Enter to win your Mighty Maca from Dr. Anna Cabeca, creator and founder of this delicious green food!