My marriage didn’t support me in being healthy or feeling safe. The people in my “dietary community” weren’t thrilled when my diet changed – and I lost a few good friends when I was honest with them that I was no longer vegan.
When you’re trying to transform your lifestyle or diet, or doing your best to avoid certain foods that you have a complicated relationship with, there is one thing that can help you get through to your goal of health and well-being.
Not just any old acquaintance will do:
we need FLOURISHING relationships where we can share our wins + celebrations as well as our troubles.
There’s a popular theory that we are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with.
If we’re the average of the 5 people we hang with most, how are your relationships supporting your health goals? CLICK TO TWEET!
Positive Psychology backs this up by explaining our “mirror neurons,” or neurons that fire when we witness behavior in other animals, as though the observer itself was acting.
We are programed to act like the people around us, which helps us stay connected to them.
This idea is a bit scary when you think about the family you grew up with who you may not feel good around…
Or the partner who has sabotaged your health and wellness goals in the past, either knowingly, or subconsciously…
Or the co-workers who are obsessed with birthday cake, after-work drinks, and gossip parties.
What makes a relationship really healthy?
FLOURISHING RELATIONSHIPS HAVE/ARE:
* EMPATHY – you feel each other
* BELONGING – you feel like family
* ATTUNEMENT – to be on the same wavelength
* VULNERABILITY – you can be yourself
* TRUST – you’re each reliable + honest
* APPRECIATION – you enjoy good qualities of each other
* AUTHENTICITY – faithful + genuine
* LOVE – a deep love is shared
In the past I had people in my life who didn’t help me flourish, weren’t honest with me, or I didn’t feel like I could really be myself around them. Today, my close circle of friends feels much different. And I’m more honest with my family about what I need and who I am.
So even if you feel like you don’t have these flourishing traits in the 5 people closest to you, don’t give up – there are loads of awesome folks around who are looking for someone like you:
curious about real connection…
looking for fun, true, authentic friends…
empathic, thrill-seeking, life-loving pals.
I want to hear from you in the comments below:
What relationships in your life are “flourishing” or help you with your goals? What else do you see about your relationships in this context?