Write your self-compassion manifesto

How to Write Your Self-compassion Manifesto

There’s a big problem we need to address before you take your next trip down the self-help aisle…

even though we want to like ourselves more…
even when we believe ‘self-compassion’ is the best way to finally enjoy our bodies for good…
even though we have a feeling that beating ourselves up isn’t helping us like food and sex any more…

…we have been trained to be self-critical on such a base level, that we are brainwashed.

We believe, underneath all the positive affirmations and mantras, if we stop beating ourselves up, we will get lazy, complacent, and that we’ll never advance, improve, drop the pounds, or “get better.”

We hang on to our self-criticism. It’s like we are in an abusive relationship with ourselves.

Our sub-conscious thought is that we still have to restrict and deprive ourselves, muscle through, strain, and toil to find happiness and achievement.

I had the honor to coach a woman I truly respect and admire recently…

I’ll call her Janice.

We got on the phone, her in LA, me in Brooklyn, and talked about her desires to create a work-life balance that really honored her mission to run a great company, while at the same time preserving precious time with her daughter and creative time for her own passion projects.

Janice was also struggling with mind chatter that went like this:
I’m in this high-powered role, making good money, but I feel like people are looking at my body because I have a good 15 pounds to lose, and I’m not as young as I used to be, and all these young female execs are hungry and hotter than me, and my sex-life is on the rocks even though I WANT my sex life to be what it used to be, and WHY do they order cookies for every meeting, when am I going to get the trainer with all these meetings on my schedule, and can I get home in time to make a healthy dinner for my daughter and not get distracted by work email so I can actually BE THERE for her childhood?!!! I need to stop eating so much…I wish I had a cocktail right now…

She had come to me to try to end the destructive cycle of if I work harder and put more restrictions on myself then I’ll finally be happy and good enough to deserve pleasure…

My insights for Janice were totally counter to what she thought she needed:

Beating yourself up, restricting your pleasure in life, is like throwing yourself into a cage match with wild animals: your mind and biochemical responses are so stressed that your body is essentially trying to escape the stress by escaping YOURSELF, which is impossible, or to fix the stressed body through suppressing it, which is self-destructive, or you end up avoiding the feelings with food, or other counter-productive actions.

Self-compassion, honey. That’s what you need in this transformation process.

“I hear ’self-compassion,’ but I really believe that if I relax into acting that way, I’ll lose control, gain even more weight, lose my drive, and become a total slug.” Janice was on the edge of a breakthrough…

But here’s the truth:
beating yourself up will never get you a loving, happy relationship with your body…

Beating yourself up blinds you from seeing the truth behind your cravings, and keeps you in a war with what your body is telling you.

Janice confused self-indulgence with self-compassion.

Self-indulgence is what we do to numb our emotional pain and stress, rather than see, feel, and complete the cycle of stress through self-care. (This is where emotional eating, emotional shopping, and other habits come into play)

Self-compassion is taking a deep breath, stepping back, taking the judgment out of your situation, and being patient with yourself through the process of healing and taking a break to align your desires with your life. It gives you the peace you need to choose a new way to manage and honor your cravings.

I gave her an assignment, and I want you to do this too:

Write Your Self-Compassion Manifesto

How to Write Your Self-compassion Manifesto

1. Get comfy with a cup of tea, and preferably a kitten and a cup of tea. (kitten optional)

2. Write an honest description of the situation you’re beating yourself up about. You could be lecturing yourself about work and career path, ranting in your mind about your weight and eating habits, or condemning yourself for your sexual desires and body image. Or all of the above! Include the mental chatter and “bitch brain” criticism word for word…

3. Now write the name of a dear loved-one at the top of the page.

4. Get another fresh page, and imagine this person, who you love so much, and that they are describing this same problem to you. S/he has come to you for help, and you are listening with a full, empathic heart. You give her your best, loving advice. Write what you would tell her as if you were in your best, calm, strongest place. Tell her what she needs to hear.

5. Reread what you wrote to her. This is for you.

Self-compassion is a habit.

It’s a series of actions and awareness practices that helps you to relax (thereby calming your mind and biochemistry), get clear (which helps you define your vision, desires, and mission), and most importantly…
…self-compassion is a tool that helps you enjoy more moments in your body, ever day of your life.

Once you write your self-compassion manifesto, I want to hear from you below in the comments!

Where can you have more compassion for yourself?
What did you feel shift as you wrote and re-read what you said to your “best friend?”
How do you view self-compassion differently now?


Inspiration from: Come As You Are, Emily Nagoski, Ph.D., Self-Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind, Kristin Neff


Have a friend who would LOVE a way to honor her body and her cravings? Share the “What to do when you have a craving” chart! Just copy this link and email it to her… http://bit.ly/cravechart

Building A Better Female Leader: Alex’s Talk from Inbound, Boston 9/15



Thanks. I was just telling everyone that I totally scrapped my talk, and this is the only slide that I’m going to be using. Yes! I like that I … I think of myself as the nice, juicy filling in between Brené Brown and Amy Schumer. While I’m going to be energetically speaking to the women in the audience, I am also speaking to and for the men in the audience. I love men. I have my man in the audience. Bob, my fiancé is here.

I want to talk about why women in leadership as an idea is important. What the problems are for more of us getting into leadership. How we can honor the feminine. I’m going to take you through some exercises, so you might want to put your stuff down. It’ll only take a minute for us to get to that point, but you’re going to be standing up, I warn you.

I was a professional vegan for quite a long time. Towards the beginning of my professional vegan-ism, which by the way, was the right choice. My body needed it. It healed me. It was fantastic. Then at the beginning of this adventure into food and healing, I met this guy … I picked him up in a bar, I’ll be honest. We fell in love, and we ended up making a movie together called Super Size Me. Did anybody see Super Size Me? Okay.

I was the vegan chef girlfriend in the background rolling her eyes as my then boyfriend ate nothing but McDonald’s for a month, and got very very sick. That movie allowed us … It was like lightening in a bottle. We went on Oprah. We went to the Oscars. It was fantastic. I became professionally vegan, and wrote 3 vegan cook books, and had this brand as a vegan expert. Work great for me in my mid 20s. Then I got to my mid 30s.

I don’t know if anybody told you this, but your body changes as you get older. I was also going through a divorce from said co-creator of Super Size Me. Had a little boy. A lot of stress. My body started to fall apart again. So this diet that had helped me in my mid 20s was now not working so well. My hormones were a disaster. I was exhausted, I was anemic, and I started craving meat. Yay! (laughs) Yes. We’ll have bacon later.

In marketing, I believe they call what happened next a “Shit Show.” Where I had to thank God for Brené Brown’s book Daring Greatly. t was literally my bible as I was going through this struggle, trying to come to terms with the fact that I was now secretly eating meat, and hocking my 3 vegan cook books. What I began to realize was that what I was hiding was a lot of food shame and body shame, that what I needed as a human being had changed, and that didn’t make me a bad person. I had to learn to listen to my body. This is where this whole next 8 minutes is going.

When we listen to our bodies, whether you’re male or female, or somewhere in between, or outside of, it doesn’t matter. Your body is what makes you you. When I talk about women in leadership, we have to address the weird gorilla elephant in the room. We’re talking about physical and chemical differences. Yes, the female body is what makes female leadership different, and sometimes complicated. We have to learn how to honor that, and listen to it.

I’m going to ask you all to stand up. As I talk with you, I want you all to do what I call the “Wonder Woman Pose.” The reason why we’re doing this … It works for men and for women. You just want your chest a little bit out, and your head a little bit raised. We’re going to do this for about 2 minutes. Why we’re doing this is because this is actually raising your testosterone. For women, that’s especially powerful. There’s a whole Ted Talk on this. I did not invent this, but I use it and I share it, with women especially.

When we’re in a leadership role, or trying to step into leadership, we have trouble with the balance between competence and confidence. We’re very competent. We know what we’re talking about. We’re smart, we’re skilled, we have tools, we have experience, but we don’t feel confident enough to interrupt. To say our opinion. To lead the charge. I recommend doing this “Wonder Woman” “Super Hero” pose, for a couple of minute before every meeting, before every tough conversation.

Skip directly to chapter 8 in my book, Women, Food, and Desire to talk more about this. It also helps with the female libido. Which I also believe is a very powerful aspect of being a female leader. It’s really acknowledging and honoring all aspects of who you are. All right, we’ve just hit 2 minutes. Perfect. Sit down. I wish I could do a spit test and show you all, and test your testosterone levels, and show you how powerful that was. Do that before you have your next meeting, before you have your next big conversation. You’re going to stand up again in a minute, so don’t get your notes out.

What was challenging for me changing my brand in full view of the world, saying, “Hey guys, I’m no longer vegan.” and watching half of my newsletter list unsubscribe, and having thousands of people flame me online. Lots, and lots, and lots, and lots, and lots of negative comments. Death threats, because I was now eating meat to help heal my physical imbalances.

It’s very challenging for us to be authentic when, as women, our number 1 secret shame, as Brené Brown pointed out yesterday, is body and appearance shame. This helps up ameliorate that a little bit. But how do we begin to actually listen to our bodies, and feel that authenticity, as Bruno was so beautifully pointing out. How do we listen? How do we be authentic? How do you hear this inside what’s going on, when we women, one of our strengths is also our Achilles heel?

We’re so good at figuring out what everybody else needs. We are psychic … Well, we think we’re psychic. Sometimes we are, and sometimes we’re just mind reading and going crazy places, but we read the energy of a room so well. We know what other people need before they know it themselves, but all of that gets in the way of us hearing our own truth. I want to take you through another exercise. Go ahead and stand up again.

We’re going a little bit more saucy. I want you to put your hands on your hips. We’re just going to do a little figure 8 with your hips. This is just loosening up this part of your body. I know, you guys are having to turn sideways. I appreciate you playing al- It’s okay. You’re doing great. Looks good. We tend to hold a lot of tension right here. We suck it in, we don’t want anything flapping over the side of anywhere. But there’s so much happening in here, especially in the female body. It’s your digestive system. It’s your emotional brain. Your gut brain has as many neurotransmitters as the brain in your head does.

When we are tight there, when we have this scourge of digestive issues … IBS, gluten intolerance, leaky gut … We have so much stress here, we need to start loosening this part of our body up, and stop hating and holding in our physical self so much. Helping to loosen up that physical shame that Brené Brown was talking about, it really takes getting into your body. All right, go ahead and sit down again. Thank you for playing along.

How can we consistently check in with ourselves, check in with our bodies? Listening to our cravings might actually be one avenue into it. That’s what I go into further into this … Again, Women, Food, and Desire, it’s the book, it’s in the book store, go get it, it’s awesome. There you go. Listening to our bodies is actually done by listening to your cravings. What does your body want?

Brené talks about this again in her new book, Rising Strong. I feel like I’m hocking her book more than I am mine. That’s okay. She talks about learning to sit with your emotions. Sit with your physical self. As a way of being authentic. How do you do that? How do you sit with and listen to … I’ve tried meditation. Believe me, I’m not that good at it. Sitting in silence just makes me crazy, but I can listen to what my body is asking for. That’s why I take people through a lot of physical exercises, and I talk about play and pleasure a lot.

We humans learn when we play. When we take the judgement out of it, it’s about having fun and being engaged, and seeing what happens next. It’s like one big improv class. When you can be physically in your body, and listen to yourself, loosen up your gut a bit, and really hear what your physical self is saying. A gut feeling about someone, nervous knots about something, butterflies in your stomach. That’s all information. That’s all ways that your body is talking to you. Again, the feminine in leadership has been downplayed. Emotion in leadership, listening to yourself, which is your body, has been downplayed and set aside.

I think that it’s time that we start listening more to that, and honoring our cravings, and following our desires. Even if it’s for chocolate. Even if it’s for the mocha frappa-latta-chino at 3:00 every day. Whatever it is that you want, get curious. Ask, “What is my body wanting right now? Am I having an emotion? Am I nervous?” There seems to be no place for that in business, in marketing. But marketing is about story, right? It’s about authenticity. We have to be able to do that for ourselves first, if we’re going to be able to do that for the company, or the product that we represent.

I think as marketers, as sales people, it’s our responsibility to be solid in ourselves, and honor what it is that we need, so that we can honestly come to someone and say, “This is what I believe. This is what I want. Do you want to engage with me about this?” And they believe you when you’ve done that work … When you’ve done that inquiry. You’re way more attractive and interesting to be with and talk with, and develop a relationship with when you have that confidence … When you have that play and sass in your energy. People respond to it. I’m so glad to have had a chance to talk with you all. Thank you so much.

We think about food all the time, but don’t really take the time to eat

Taking the time to really eat: Cravings Cleanse + Mindset Makeover

Last week I was talking with a client I’ll call Jen.

Jen wants to get rid of her bloating, which bothers her daily, and has a bigger life’s craving to feel confident and comfortable in her body.

I asked her to describe how she eats, and when she eats.
Here’s what her meal plan looks like, which is just like so many women I work with:

Wake up as late as possible, then eat in 5 minutes or on the way to work.
Eat lunch at her desk, then snack throughout the afternoon.
Get home starving, then quickly eat in order to get on with other things…

“So,” I asked, “would I be right in saying that you only spend about 30 minutes actually eating every day?”

“Yes,” that sounds about right,” said Jen.

See, we spend so much time worrying and obsessing about food, and our bodies, but we don’t really take time to enjoy eating.

When we eat too quickly, on the run, at our desks, in the car, or secretly, with the lights off, we are in a state of panic, stress, and unease.

Here’s what I know to be true: you can either be stressed, or you can digest.

When you eat slowly, with ease, enjoying your food, taking breaths, chewing completely, savoring, your body can digest. Your body has time to tell you when it’s full. Your stomach can handle the food coming its way.

We are in such a state or rush and panic, with almost every single meal,
that we neither notice how our body feels, nor do we have a chance to digest.

This leads to stomach pain, bloating, poor digestion, leaky gut, and overeating.

I gave Jen an assignment: spend 15-20 minutes eating each meal, and don’t do it alone.

Food should be one of the best things about being alive, and enjoyed with other people. Set the table. Light a candle. Invite a friend to lunch, go to a park or cafe for breakfast, eat outside as often as possible. Take a real lunch break. (It is the law, after all!)

Taking the time to really eat: Cravings Cleanse + Mindset Makeover

This is the first step in changing your digestion and the impact your digestive health has on your cravings, even before you change what you eat.

She’s on it, and looking forward to feeling different with food, and enjoying it with others.

Eating real meals, like a person who cares enough about her body and her life to take the time, is the first step in transforming your relationship with food, your energy, and digestion.

I told Jen about the positive psychology technique, savoring. It’s the first lesson I teach in the Cravings Cleanse + Mindset Makeover. Savoring is a way of fully feeling, noticing, and loving, food, your body, each moment, and your live.

It’s a powerful tool, that allows you to actually be in the moment, appreciate your body, slow down, and enjoy your life…and only one of the mindset tools I’ll share with you in the Cravings Cleanse, which starts 10/7.

Click here to join us: http://alexandrajamieson.com/cravings-cleanse/

Jen is on her way to a new way of eating, and I want that for you.
See, it doesn’t matter what you eat, if you’re always eating in a state of stress, your body and relationship with her, and food, won’t change.

Registration is now open for the next Cravings Cleanse + Mindset Makeover. We start 10/7, but you’ll get access to the bonus videos, recordings, meditations, and more this week.


Better than popcorn: simple roasted Brussels Sprouts [cravings cleanse approved!]

Best Roasted Brussels Sprouts Recipe


-POP (1)

At night I often crave crunchy and fatty foods…

What gives?!

I already ate dinner, and I’m not starving…unless I’m really up way too late, and should have been in bed by now.

There are 3 possible reasons we crave salty, crunchy fatty foods, and I can help you figure it out, and eat to avoid them with this simple roasted Brussels Sprouts recipe.


  1. You might not be eating enough mineral-rich foods. Salty cravings often indicate a lack of trace elements and minerals in your diet, which the body tries to get through eating more salt.
  2. You might not be eating enough healthy fats, which your body actually needs to feed your brain, and build enough hormones for mood balancing
  3. We often crave crunchy foods as a way to release pent up aggression, anger, and frustration. When we are suffering from “good girl syndrome,” or trying to be nice and pleasant all the time, we don’t have a way to let our true emotions out. Crunching and destroying something like potato chips and roasted nuts is an easy, tasty way to get that static out of your system…


But all those salty, crunchy, fatty foods aren’t necessarily your friend at 11 o’clock at night. They cause nighttime digestive upset, and stop us from feeling our best.

Try this for 1 week:

Include healthy, crunchy, fatty, lightly salted foods with your dinner every night.

This roasted Brussels Sprouts recipe is easy, tasty, and gives you the satisfaction you’re looking for:


2-3 cups baby sprouts, or large sprouts trimmed of tough outer leaves

2-3 tablespoons coconut oil or olive oil

1 teaspoon sea salt

Preheat oven to 400F.

Toss the sprouts, oil, and salt, and spread evenly on a lined cookie sheet.

Roast in oven for 10 minutes, turn the cookie sheet so the sprouts cook evenly, and cook for another 2-5 minutes until sprouts begin to brown slightly.


This natural crunch, with mineral rich sea salt and sprouts, will give your body and taste the sensation you desire.

Get lots more recipes, support, and coaching to transform your cravings in my 8-week Cravings Cleanse + Mindset Makeover. We start 10/7/15!

xo, Alex

Want to eat less sugar? Science says: make life sweeter [Gluten-Free Sweet Potato Biscuit Recipe]

Gluten-free sweet potato biscuits

Gluten-free sweet potato biscuits

This weekend was so sweet…

…I met a new ginger kitten our family will (finger’s crossed) adopt next weekend…

(pictures to come!!)

…we hosted 3 other families for brunch, our favorite meal to prepare and share…

(brand new Sweet Potato Biscuit Recipe below)

make life sweeter - healthy brunch recipes

…my son and I went roller skating in the park…

…and I discovered this awesome science story on NPR, which proves that the happier you are, the sweeter foods taste.

Here’s the basic science:

When you’re happy because something good happens, food with a slightly sour or bitter flavor taste better.

When you’re unhappy, “healthier” foods (maybe slightly bitter greens, other healthy vegetables, milder tasting foods) are more unappealing, as sweeter, fattier foods remain pleasurable.

Your taste buds and tongue contain a high number of serotonin receptors. Serotonin, a neurotransmitter, “is linked with happiness and mood.”

So when we feel stressed or disappointed and crave ice cream, don’t blame your willpower, your neurotransmitters and taste buds are partially to blame as well.

This is why brunch is a happy tradition in our home.

Every month we invite as many people as can fit in our Brooklyn apartment, cook up a storm, and enjoy a 3+ hour meal with good friends, conversation, and good food.

The sweetness of the meal is in the people, not just in the food.

Making every meal, not just big brunches or holiday dinners, sweet is a high priority for me.

I would rather get up early so that breakfast can be relaxed, sitting at the table with my family,

than rushed and eaten on the run.

It just doesn’t feel good.

Life can be stressful enough – make each meal sweeter:

  • fresh flowers
  • real cloth napkins
  • candles lit, even at breakfast
  • nice music
  • cleaned off table
  • no computer or cell phone present

When you take the time to make each meal an experience, a joyful occasion, it tastes better.

Some of my clients or Cravings Cleanse + Mindset Makeover (Next CCMM starts 10/7/15!!) members struggle with taking the time to eat their meals in a calm, pretty way. But it’s worth it. Your digestion, metabolism, and yes, your taste buds change when you are in a relaxed, joyful state of being.

Gluten-free Sweet Potato Biscuits

Makes 12-14


  • 1/2 cup unsweetened almond or coconut milk
  • 1/4 cup apple cider
  • 2 teaspoons apple cider vinegar
  • 2 cups Bob’s Red Mill All-Purpose Gluten Free Flour
  • 3 teaspoons baking powder
  • 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
  • 1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper
  • 1/4 teaspoon turmeric (for a gorgeous golden color!)
  • 2 tablespoons natural cane sugar (original recipe called for 4!! So not necessary with sweet potatoes…)
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 5 tablespoons butter or frozen coconut oil
  • 1 egg
  • 1 cup cooked, peeled, mashed sweet potato, cooled

Gluten-Free Sweet Potato Biscuits


  1. Preheat oven to 450F.
  2. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.
  3. Combine milk, apple cider, and apple cider vinegar; set aside.
  4. In a medium mixing bowl combine flour, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, cayenne, turmeric, sugar, and salt. Whisk until blended and set aside.
  5. Cut in butter or coconut oil until mixture resembles coarse crumbs.
  6. In a separate mixing bowl combine egg, milk mixture, and sweet potato, stirring well until mixed. Add this to the dry ingredients and stir until just combined. Do not over mix, or you’ll lose the nice fluffy texture.
  7. Scoop 1/4 cups of dough onto the prepared pan, about 2 inches apart.
  8. Bake for 12-15 minutes, or until edges are lightly browned.
  9. Serve warm with honey. MMMMMmmmm….

11 Ways To Stop Obsessing

11 ways to stop obsessing
It’s 2am and you’re up thinking…
ruminating and thinking and obsessing like a record that’s stuck and keeps repeating the same lyrics over and over again…”I’m a loser. What if it doesn’t work out? I f’d up. I f’d up.”
Obsessing, also called “ruminating,” is over-thinking, repeating unanswerable questions, retracing past mistakes, and it’s dangerous…
11 ways to stop obsessing
I was on the phone with my client Amy, and she shared with me that she had been up all night obsessively worrying about a financial issue. Other times, she admitted, she got stuck in thought loops about weight loss and how her body “should just be different.”
In the past, Amy had used food and “midnight snacking” to help calm these obsessive thoughts. But this time, she did her best to get back to bed, and felt really good about herself for not engaging in the binge eating she used to.
Binge eating is often just a tool some of us use to drown out the obsessive thoughts, an action we can take that distracts us.

But we don’t really need the food. Our bodies may crave food because “she” knows the anxiety from the obsessions will go away if we eat…and overeat…

What we really need, and what I shared with Amy, is ways to stop obsessing.
Rather than thinking of happy, positive events over and over again, which lead us to well-being, self love, and confidence, we humans tend to conjure up more and more negative thoughts in a cycle of self-loathing and anxiety.
Research shows that obsessive thoughts and rumination are associated with binge-eating, binge-drinking, anxiety, depression, and more.
Obsessing and ruminating are the path to feeling helpless and worthless.
It paralyzes your problem solving skills so you only focus on the bad, and never have the confidence, clarity or creativity to think up new solutions.

Here are 11 ways to stop obsessing, and get out of ruminating: 

  1. See it. Just the fact that you’ve realized you’re ruminating (and that it isn’t helping) is the first step. As my G.I. Joe cartoon used to say every Saturday morning, “knowing is half the battle!”
  2. Laugh about it! Find something funny about the situation. Humor can help you see an issue from a new perspective so you can move on. Imagine you’re in a screwball comedy and this situation is happening to Maya Rudolph or Mae
  3. Be your friend. What would you say to a dear friend facing the same situation? This can help you treat yourself more compassionately. If you have done something wrong, or made a mistake, forgive yourself as you would with a friend, with the same heart and love.
  4. Reality check. Focus only on things you have control over. Life is so big and complex, there will always be things we have uncertainty around. Try to take a “pronoia” stance – the idea that the world is on your side and the Universe has your back – the opposite of “paranoia.”
  5. Accept your sadness or fear. We all have sadness, fear, or anger. If you can accept that this is a part of living, and that it won’t last forever (neither life nor the current emotion), and stop trying to make things different, can you just settle into the emotion and feel it fully? Feelings often dissolve if we allow ourselves to fully feel them.
  6. Stop it! Ever just say that out loud to yourself? Parent yourself as if you were a kid about to do something really harmful. Stop it, kid! Sometimes we just need a wake up call to jolt us out of a daze.
  7. Get here now. As the Dali Llama said, “There are only two times you can’t do anything: the past and the future.” Center yourself in the hear and how, and focus on one action you can take for your well-being, rather than trying to answer unanswerable questions like “why did that happen?”
  8. Get distracted. I know, it’s totally different from #7, but getting distracted can get you off a train of thought at this station, right now! When you engage in activities that fill your mind with other thoughts, preferably positive ones, the obsessive thoughts will fade. What’s something fun, relaxing, pleasurable, or useful you could do right now? What’s an awesome funny movie you could watch to start laughing? Do you have a creative outlet? Have you given yourself pleasure via movement, masturbation, or play lately?
  9. See your thoughts for what they are: just thoughts. And you are not your thoughts! Thank goddess – I can’t tell you how many times my brain has conjured up terrible images of what could happen to my kid on the way home from school. Examine your thoughts with curiosity and without judgment – what can you learn from this and what is just an emotion?
  10. One last time, with feeling. Tell yourself “ok, self: I’ll let you think about this one more time but this time we are coming up with a plan about what to do next!” Hear the plan, then take action. None of this is helpful if you don’t act.
  11. Worry time. Make a plan to obsess for 15 minutes at a specific time in the next 24-hours. You’ve set aside some time for it, and you don’t have to be stuck in these thoughts right now if you booked a spot to dive back into the pit.
As you look towards the possibilities this new way of thinking has for you, including all the personal desires and cravings that call to you, I want to extend my hand and offer myself as a part of your circle of support.

 When I’m looking at making a big change, or taking on a new way of being, or when I want something that just feels beyond my ability to create, I will raise my hand, phone a friend, shout out loud “HELP!”

If you are in this space, with visions and hope for a future that glows with self-love, joy, freedom, peace and energy, then I welcome you to go. for. it.

Feel into the image that you see and feel, and seek the support you need to make the transformation real.

If you have been wanting me on hand to support you in a one-on-one, personal way, here’s your opportunity:

As part of my mission to help women (and the men who love us) to live into our desires and natural state of health, I’m doing something different and offering a COMPLIMENTARY 30-minute 1-on-1 personalized Vitality Discovery Session with me.

That’s 30 minutes of personalized, uninterrupted time with me without costing you a cent.

I will help you discover what difference you want to see in your life from dropping the extra pounds and feeling free with food.
AND what’s holding you back from getting what you want.

We’ll intentionally approach these topics with love, kindness, and compassion – those good thoughts that helped my garden flourish! Let’s skip the extra shame and frustration, shall we? :)

Then, we’ll make a plan to get you what you want, in a new, honorable, unique way. Joy, play, fun, pleasure, and a soulful plan of action.

I know you could spend 30 minutes doing something else – email, laundry, chores, drinking wine and eating chocolate…anything.
Yet, I believe that when you and I spend time in this conversation, we can weave magic and a new way of living in and loving your body.

I have space for 10 Vitality Discovery Sessions, and if you feel called, I hope you’ll take me up on this very special invitation.

Click here to answer a few simple questions. If it feels like a good fit, someone on my team will be in touch in 48 hours after the submission deadline to set up your free session. The deadline is Monday, July 20th.

Summer Soup + Salvation

avocado zucchini soup

avocado zucchini soup

Here’s what I love about nature and life:

We really do have access to what we need when we need it. And Life really is out to help us.

Case in point: summer cooling foods.

In the hot summer months, nature grows foods like cucumber, zucchini, and watermelon which are naturally cooling.

In the cold of winter, seasonal veggies include warming pumpkins, sweet potatoes, and other root vegetables.

Usually, what we’re looking for is right in front of us, and Life (AKA God/Universe) has our back.

I’m a big believer in pronoia. Pronoia is the antidote for paranoia. It’s the belief that the Universe is out to help you, and that life is fundamentally loving and friendly.

So rather than worry, rail and complain against the summer heat, limiting beliefs, economic fears, political upheavals, and an endless stream of Kardashian-inspired pop culture crap, I choose to look at what is going well and what resources are immediately available to me.

So healthy foods that help you feel the way you want to feel are a lot like life choices – the small choices have the big, long-term impact:

  • I’d rather watch inspiring movies like Advanced Style and Happy than shame-inducing reality TV…
  • I’d rather eat a sweet, cooling snack like sliced jicama than get an iced Frapa-crappa-cccino.
  • I spend my time with friends who lift me up rather than drag me down or degrade me.
  • I can give myself the pleasure and play my body craves, rather than try to shop/buy my way to joy.
  • And this summer, I’ll eat the cooling, seasonal foods that are easy to prepare, taste good, and help me feel great.

It’s a good recipe for life, and a good recipe for soup.

Avocado Zucchini Soup:

1 pound zucchini (about 2 medium) roughly chopped

1 avocado, peeled and pitted

1 cup peeled and chopped cucumber

1/2 small yellow onion

1 cup unsweetened almond milk or organic buttermilk

1/2 cup packed basil leaves

1 clove garlic, peeled

1 tablespoon fresh lemon zest

2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice

2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil

1/2 teaspoon sea salt

1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper


Combine all in a blender and blend until smooth!

Top with optional drizzle of olive oil, basil leaves, or edible flowers like nasturtiums.

Cauliflower Rice Recipe: Inspiration In The Kitchen


I haven’t posted a new recipe in a while…

And I’ve felt a bit guilty about it.

I have been sharing a lot of new mindset tools from positive psychology that have made a big difference in my own healing journey, as well as my clients.

But at home, for myself and my family, I’ve been making simple foods, using high-quality ingredients, and keeping things pretty easy.

I just haven’t been focused on new recipes for a while…

It wasn’t that I’d lost my love for cooking, I just didn’t feel like a new greens recipe was as important as sharing these new tools I found so inspirational.

And it felt strange for a while, and I was plagued with doubts:

  • I’m a professionally trained healthy cook – why am I not excited about new recipes?
  • I know people want new recipes to inspire healthier eating – why can’t I just keep creating them?
  • Aren’t there already thousands of recipes online to choose from? Can I really add anything new?
  • Am I going to confuse my readers if I post mindset tools and then put up a recipe every once in a while?

So I didn’t create anything new for months. Until now, as I got really excited by this delicious new way of making cauliflower, quickly, with a few ingredients.

My programs and clients all still get recipe and menu planning help, when that’s what they need.

But I see more and more that having new recipes isn’t enough to help you make the lasting changes you want in your body and life.

I want to help you think about food and your body in a new way, using proven strategies that help you feel peaceful, strong, joyful, and whole. That’s the power of positive psychology and my mindset makeover tools, like those I teach in the Vitality Mentorship.

But I also love to eat, and I know you do too. I still cook every day, even if it’s whipping up a green + protein smoothie, tea, and a salad.

Well, I’ll be sharing new recipes when the inspiration strikes, rather than forcing myself to be a recipe hub.

Because as you probably know, forcing yourself to do things that you don’t feel totally juicy and excited about is a recipe for self-sabotage, frustration, and a loss of passion.

And I’ll continue to share nutrition + food tips because I know that our cravings and food habits stem from 4 roots causes: bacterial, nutritional, emotional, and physical.

So today, I’ve got a brand new way to whip up a family-pleasing cauliflower dish, filled with nutrition, that cooks up quicker than quinoa:

Cauliflower Rice Recipe:



This recipe provides a delicate sweetness of cooked cauliflower, onion, and red bell pepper, which is my strategy to help with nighttime sugar cravings. Adding sweet foods at dinner satisfies my sweet tooth. I also like the high fiber content, which your body uses to get rid of excess estrogen.

1. Start with 1 head of organic cauliflower, washed and patted dry. Cut out the core and chop into large chunks.


2. Place the chunks into a food processor fitted with an S-blade, and pulse 20-25 times, until cut into tiny pieces, but not mushy. You can also shred on a box grater.


3. Set a large skillet over medium-high heat and add 2 tablespoons of coconut or olive oil. Dice 1/2 a yellow onion and red bell pepper, and saute with 1 teaspoon of salt until the onions begin to brown.


4. Scoop the shredded cauliflower into the pan, and stir well. Cook for 5 minutes, adding another 1/2 teaspoon of salt. Stir well, and cover, turning heat to low, and cook for 5 minutes more.


5. Turn off the heat and allow to steam for 2 minutes before serving hot.

Share with your loved ones, and save the rest for leftovers – reheating is a snap! Just add to a pan with 2-3 tablespoons of water, stir, cover, and heat over medium for 5 minutes or until heated through.





P.S. Want a few cooking ideas like this, and help plotting your life’s transformation? Applications for the Vitality Mentorship program are open until June 10th:  

What You Need to Know Right Now About Loving Your Body

She was struggling…

with food,

with nutrition,

with body image issues,

with what steps to take next in her life…

After 7 years as an elementary school teacher, a breakup, and a major move across the country, Lyndsi felt lost.

  She's just getting started...

 A good friend told her about my work, and we had a Skype chat…

“It was really powerful…and I’d never worked with a coach before.”

She hadn’t tried this.

She’s tried almost everything else…

books, retreats, weight watchers, extreme diets, and more.

Then we started meeting on Skype for 4 months…

I coached her through the emotions of worthiness, confidence, confrontation, and career dreams.



She’s not eating when she’s not hungry anymore.

She’s present, more peaceful in her thoughts, and more confident in her body.

She’s LOVING her body more!

And the super cool, exciting thing?

She’s taking major steps to create the future and career that she has dreamed of.

A center for women to heal their bodies and relationship with food.

Lyndsi is truly being the change she wishes to see in the world.

She’s taking major steps to create the future and career that she has dreamed of.

A center for women to heal their bodies and relationship with food. Lyndsi is truly being the change she wants to see in he world.

“I’ve had wonderful coaching and community to help me take those steps forward.”

For the first time, the vision of her life and career feel possible, exciting, and joyful. Lyndsi found the support, direction, and inspiration she needed to take her next step…



P.S. Applications for the Vitality Mentorship, a 4-month group and private coaching program with me, are open: have you looked at the program yet? Have you filled out your application? Why not? I am curious – just email me at alex@alexandrajamieson.com with any questions…or fill out your application here by June 6th so we can see if this is the right next step for you! 

9 ways to get out of your comfort food zone

9 ways to

We all have ideas of what we wish to become.

9 ways to

I was with my son, on our way to the park so he could try out his new skateboard. “Are you ready to go down the ramp?” I asked.
Wonder Boy looked up at me and said, “I don’t want to…I’m scared.”

I didn’t miss a beat, looked into his eyes, and replied,
“It’s ok to be scared, but it’s important to try it anyway.”

It’s a powerful message.
“Trying it anyway” is at the heart of a fully lived life.

It’s what I tell my clients when they know they need to ditch sugar and gluten.

It’s what I tell my clients when they need to have a big talk with their partner or boss…
or finally start dating.

It’s what I tell myself before taking on a new big idea for my work.
(podcast? a book about cravings? interviewing experts on masturbation??)

Without anyone else encouraging us to try new things,
we tend to dig ourselves deeper into our comfort zones.

Busy schedules, long-held habits, and old mindsets can lead us to shut off our hearts and minds and just coast on autopilot.

We keep using the same old comfort foods to help us handle stress, which keeps the extra weight on, and keeps our energy depressed.

A part of us knows that those old comfort foods will keep us in the stuck spot where we are, so that we won’t have to step into that uncertain next step.

We let the fear keep us from moving forward and just let life take us where it wants.

Our comfort food zone, hiding in the foods that exhaust us and make us feel heavy, keeps us from even trying to make the changes we dream about: dating, asking for the raise, changing careers, and more. Much more.

Is it too late to change?
That’s the great news; It’s never, ever too late to “try it anyway.”

But we get stuck in “fixed mindset.”

Positive Psychology shows us that we can have choose one of two mindsets: Fixed or Growth.

“Fixed” mindset is when you think you can’t change, you can’t learn anything new, you avoid challenges, when you see other people succeed it brings up jealousy, and you want to be told you’re smart.

I believe you can develop a growth mindset, and all it takes is knowing there is a new way to think, and to start watching your thoughts more closely!

Growth mindset says you can learn new things and change:

Growth mindset is open to asking for help, says “I don’t know how to do this…YET,” believes that you can learn something new, enjoys watching other people succeed, and wants to be acknowledged for working hard.

I try to show my kid when I’m trying something new, share any doubts, and share when I don’t reach the goal. I show him the process of what it means to try.
The wins and the losses.

Our culture is too danged focused on WINNING – that being 100% perfect, #1, and the BEST, is the only acceptable option.


Moving out of your comfort zone requires us to break free from the past and old ways of perfection thinking, and push ourselves to do something we wouldn’t normally try.

But here’s the secret magic lurking just behind the fear:
often, the simple act of just trying something new can help you move out of your comfort zone.

Here are 9 simple ways to move out of your comfort zone:

9 ways
• take a cooking class
• take an art class
• volunteer for a local organization for 1 day
• take a new route to work
• say ‘Hi’ to someone new in your neighborhood or at work
• plan a trip to a new part of your city, or a place where people speak a difference language
• visit a new place of worship
• take a hike to a new park
• take the first step towards making one of your dreams a reality

Does it still feel too overwhelming? Here are some additional pointers:
• do some research on the first 2 steps needed to make one new thing happen – then act
• ask someone who has done the new thing you’re interested in about why they like it
• take a friend with you when you try a new activity or go some place new
• stop thinking of yourself as “fragile” – you are beautiful, but not a delicate flower
• call to mind a time when you did something new that was fun
• depend on yourself for your happiness, instead of others

And even if your attempt doesn’t work out the way you thought it might, it can still lead to growth and positive results. The most successful people on earth went through major failures before they became successful.

The more new things you try, the more you step out of your comfort zone, the less you’ll need  food to make you happy. The less depressed you’ll feel. The more energy you’ll have.
The more LIFE you’ll have!

What I am asking you to do is simple: do just one thing differently this week.

Your life is waiting for you, just outside your comfort food zone.

Ready to work with an experienced coach to help you

get out of your comfort zone and utterly transform your body + life?

CLICK HERE TO APPLY by June 6th for the Vitality Mentorship with Alex: 

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