Ever think any of these?
I should really lose some weight.
I should look for a new job. This one makes me unhappy.
I should really start eating better.
I should cut back the hours I am working.
I should really figure out what makes me happy, and do it more.
Should is just a dis-empowering word, so if you are using it, you most likely don’t really want to do what you are “shoulding” yourself to do.
Used to express obligation or duty. You should send her a note.
Used to express probability or expectation. They should arrive at noon.
Used to express conditionality or contingency. If she should fall, then so would I.
You may want the result of losing weight or finding a job you love, but inherent in the “should’ statement above is the connotation that it is an obligation, not something you want to do.
There is a lack of desire and a sense of guilt present in these statements.
There is also a sense of expectation.
AND, this is all GREAT information. Whenever you “should” yourself about doing ANYTHING, there is some aspect of doing this thing you feel you “should” do that seems unpleasant or uncomfortable, that you really don’t wish to do.
So, do you really want to shame yourself into doing it???
That never works does it? When anyone else tries to guilt you into doing something, does that ever feel good? You generally resent doing something you are guilt-ed into doing, right?
And, this entire conversation is energetically draining.
So, whenever you hear yourself say the word “should” can you please stop and think about what you are expecting in this scenario?
What about this seems difficult to you?
It’s easier to make time in our lives for things we want to do or for things we feel will have some kind of positive pay off, like advancing our careers in some way.
Who has found time to:
Go to a networking event?
Have dinner or lunch with a friend you enjoy?
Watch your favorite TV show, the one to which you are addicted?
You do these things because they pay off in some way.
Going to that networking event may help you make an important business connection.
Having dinner or lunch with your friend will be fun and supportive.
Watching your Favorite TV show will give you something to talk about at work and be a fun distraction.
So, if you can figure out something you can do that will support weight loss that also provides you with some other more immediate, emotional pay off, you are more likely to do it!
Walking in the park with a friend gives you a calorie burn plus some friendship- fun and support.
Riding a stationary bike while reading a great novel or watching a great TV series will make you want to get on that bike to see what happens next.
Taking a workout class or dance class that inspires and exhilarates you will make you want to go back for more!
You are most likely NOT going to do something that you think you “should” do, so watch for that word dancing around in your head or your conversations.
The word “Should” is just an alert that:
You have an expectation that the only way you can get the result you want is via hardship.
The ways you see this thing you want happening don’t have any positive emotional pay offs.
You think what you want is impossible for you.
If you don’t believe something is possible, it will be really tough to make it happen.
There are so many fun and engaging ways to exercise and feel great in your body!
There are lots of really delicious ways to eat healthy!
It’s way easier to take steps to get a new job when you believe it is possible to work in a situation you love!
If you would like to discover just how you “should” yourself and how you can get the results you want by taking actions you really LOVE and ENJOY doing, join me and my Buddies, Lara Riggio and amazing psychotherapist to the stars, Terri Cole for an amazing day in which we will be helping you experience how you can get Get it All Done with more ease, grace and joy.
In our Success Simplified Workshop on May 2nd in NYC, you will discover:
- How to distinguish between a “Should” and a “Want” so you minimize unnecessary pressure in your life.
- The art of mastering how to set effective boundaries with ease and kindness, so you don’t get roped into doing anything you don’t want to do.
- How to identify what is stealing your energy, and get it back!
- Discover how easy self-care activates The Law of Attraction, so you can benefit from this real phenomenon.
- Sample the magic of quick & easy mindfulness practices like mini meditations and 60 second Present Moment
- Awareness exercises you can do anywhere to harness the power of your intention.
- And Uncover the downloaded limiting beliefs that are stopping you from having what you deserve, release them with energy work and feel the freedom and power you have as a result.
- Release your resistance to receiving, so you can accept the help, love and appreciation available to you.
- Learn how to listen to your body’s cravings, discover what your body needs from them and how to satisfy yourself with food.
Meet + bond with women like you: join this empowered posse of like-minded sisters, and know you are never alone.
Come get your health + inspiration on, and still have time in your Saturday schedule for your errands and a mani/pedi.
So, in addition to all the priceless strategies, tools and support you are going to receive during the day, you will be receiving over $160 of free stuff to help you practice what you discover throughout the day!
Sign up before April 20 + get the Early Bird Special, save $50!