Get Over Your “Shoulds” + Enjoy Getting What You Want

terri event

Ever think any of these?

I should really lose some weight.

I should look for a new job. This one makes me unhappy.

I should really start eating better.

I should cut back the hours I am working.

I should really figure out what makes me happy, and do it more.

Should is just a dis-empowering word, so if you are using it, you most likely don’t really want to do what you are “shoulding” yourself to do.

 

Should Definition
dictionary.search.yahoo.com

Used to express obligation or duty. You should send her a note.

Used to express probability or expectation. They should arrive at noon.

Used to express conditionality or contingency. If she should fall, then so would I.

 

You may want the result of losing weight or finding a job you love, but inherent in the “should’ statement above is the connotation that it is an obligation, not something you want to do.

terri event

There is a lack of desire and a sense of guilt present in these statements.

There is also a sense of expectation.

AND, this is all GREAT information. Whenever you “should” yourself about doing ANYTHING, there is some aspect of doing this thing you feel you “should” do that seems unpleasant or uncomfortable, that you really don’t wish to do.

So, do you really want to shame yourself into doing it???

That never works does it? When anyone else tries to guilt you into doing something, does that ever feel good? You generally resent doing something you are guilt-ed into doing, right?

And, this entire conversation is energetically draining.

So, whenever you hear yourself say the word “should” can you please stop and think about what you are expecting in this scenario?

What about this seems difficult to you?

It’s easier to make time in our lives for things we want to do or for things we feel will have some kind of positive pay off, like advancing our careers in some way.

Who has found time to:

Go to a networking event?

Have dinner or lunch with a friend you enjoy?

Watch your favorite TV show, the one to which you are addicted?


You do these things because they pay off in some way.

Going to that networking event may help you make an important business connection.

Having dinner or lunch with your friend will be fun and supportive.

Watching your Favorite TV show will give you something to talk about at work and be a fun distraction.

So, if you can figure out something you can do that will support weight loss that also provides you with some other more immediate, emotional pay off, you are more likely to do it!

Walking in the park with a friend gives you a calorie burn plus some friendship- fun and support.

Riding a stationary bike while reading a great novel or watching a great TV series will make you want to get on that bike to see what happens next.

Taking a workout class or dance class that inspires and exhilarates you will make you want to go back for more!

You are most likely NOT going to do something that you think you “should” do, so watch for that word dancing around in your head or your conversations.

The word “Should” is just an alert that:

You have an expectation that the only way you can get the result you want is via hardship.

The ways you see this thing you want happening don’t have any positive emotional pay offs.

You think what you want is impossible for you.

 

If you don’t believe something is possible, it will be really tough to make it happen.

 

There are so many fun and engaging ways to exercise and feel great in your body!

There are lots of really delicious ways to eat healthy!

It’s way easier to take steps to get a new job when you believe it is possible to work in a situation you love!

 

If you would like to discover just how you “should” yourself and how you can get the results you want by taking actions you really LOVE and ENJOY doing, join me and my Buddies, Lara Riggio and amazing psychotherapist to the stars, Terri Cole for an amazing day in which we will be helping you experience how you can get Get it All Done with more ease, grace and joy.

In our Success Simplified Workshop on May 2nd in NYC, you will discover:

  • How to distinguish between a “Should” and a “Want” so you minimize unnecessary pressure in your life.
  • The art of mastering how to set effective boundaries with ease and kindness, so you don’t get roped into doing anything you don’t want to do.
  • How to identify what is stealing your energy, and get it back!
  • Discover how easy self-care activates The Law of Attraction, so you can benefit from this real phenomenon.
  • Sample the magic of quick & easy mindfulness practices like mini meditations and 60 second Present Moment
  • Awareness exercises you can do anywhere to harness the power of your intention.
  • And Uncover the downloaded limiting beliefs that are stopping you from having what you deserve, release them with energy work and feel the freedom and power you have as a result.
  • Release your resistance to receiving, so you can accept the help, love and appreciation available to you.
  • Learn how to listen to your body’s cravings, discover what your body needs from them and how to satisfy yourself with food.

 

Meet + bond with women like you: join this empowered posse of like-minded sisters, and know you are never alone.

Come get your health + inspiration on, and still have time in your Saturday schedule for your errands and a mani/pedi.

So, in addition to all the priceless strategies, tools and support you are going to receive during the day, you will be receiving over $160 of free stuff to help you practice what you discover throughout the day!

Sign up before April 20 + get the Early Bird Special, save $50!

Click Here to Register 

 

Come Play With Alex! 1-week retreat in North Carolina!

Women-Food-Desire-Workshop-with-Alex-Jamieson-FINAL

WOMEN, FOOD & DESIRE WITH ALEX JAMIESON

This transformational workshop is led by bestselling author, functional nutrition coach, and chef, Alex Jamieson. Alex will guide you in discovering the true meanings of your food cravings, and teach you how understanding these cravings is the key to satisfying your deepest desires. Along with Alex, some of Asheville’s top teachers, natural healers, and conscious cooks will take you on excursions to explore, concoct, and connect with your body and how to meet your desires in a way that serves your well being. In this workshop you will learn about the core of your desires, detoxing your system, feeding your cravings, healing your relationship with food, and embracing your body.

If you love pleasure and food, you will gain life-long wisdom in this week-long retreat.

DATE: December 6-12, 2015. LOCATION: Asheville, NC.

FEE: See Early Bird Discounts & other details below. Register + learn more here: 

Women-Food-Desire-Workshop-with-Alex-Jamieson-FINAL

 

LEARN:

Learn the real reasons behind all your cravings––for food, sleep, sex, movement, companionship and inspiration––and how to satiate your cravings in a loving, healthy way. Experience natural healing, emotional release, pure pleasure, and deep connection. Throughout the week, you will be learning about the following:

With Alex You’ll Learn:

To make peace with food & embrace your body
The importance of pleasure & how to prioritize it
How cleansing can connect you with your authentic self
What your cravings mean & creative recipes to satisfy them
The secrets to thriving relationships, vitality & positive aging
Heart habits & healing rituals to release the past & move forward
Transformational dietary changes & mindset tools to improve food habits

Hands-on Projects & Healing Practices:

The Conscious Kitchen: Active meditations for a healthier you
Nature Walks: Connecting with the beauty & stillness of nature’s wisdom
Herbs for Healthy Hormones: Making medicine for menstruation to menopause
Everyday Aphrodisiacs: Cacao concoctions, herbal teas & tonics for a sensual life
Emotional Freedom Technique: A.k.a “tapping” your way to food freedom & ease
“Combining humor and candor with a smart, science-based approach, Alexandra Jamieson helps you develop a healthier, sexier, more vital existence. With practical, easy-to-implement strategies, she shows you how to transcend obstacles and tap into your deepest purpose.” ~ JJ Virgin, nutrition & fitness expert and bestselling author

 

LOCATION
Asheville, North Carolina is based in a food-centric and ecologically lush bioregion. Surrounded by the oldest mountains on the planet, the hoppin’ downtown is full of local artisans, organic restaurants, farmer’s markets, street buskers, yoga studios, and independent everything. It’s the first Bee City, USA, the #1 Beer City in the country, andNational Geographic named it one of the best cities in the world, while Good Morning America recently featured Asheville as their top city to visit in 2015. There’s tons to do, so stay a couple extra days if you can.

Homewood-AshevilleThe workshop location for the morning portion of the workshop is at the beautiful Homewood stone castle in the historic neighborhood of Montford — a short five minute drive from the heart of downtown. The afternoon workshops will rotate between various homesteads, gardens, and woodlands — roughly within a 15-minute drive from downtown. Carpooling is encouraged and connections will be made for those without cars.

Asheville skyline

To learn more + register, go to: http://ashevillage.org/women-food-desire-with-alexandra-jamieson/

Rituals are my spiritual alarm clocks – how to be YOU more

I do this not asking for help thing.

One part of me thinks that if I do it all by myself I’ll really be worthy of what I achieve.

 

Another part feels shame when I ask for help – as if I’m a stupid dumb-dumb who can’t get her act together and just do it on my own.

 

I’m getting WAY better at asking.

Losing my mom, a dear best friend, and turning 40 did something to me this last year.

 

But some days it’s still hard…

Women from my last cleanse shared their thoughts on why it’s hard to ask for help:

 

“I do have a hard time asking for help. For me it’s more about not wanting to be burden…which is kind of ridiculous because I am quick to help others.”

“When I feel unworthy of someone’s time or attention it’s hard to ask for help.”

“I grew up in a home where my mom didn’t really voice her needs or expectations and then she would act passive aggressively to get you do what she needed, or she should play the role of sacrificial martyr…so I have had to unlearn these patterns.”

“I feel like I should have already been capable of doing it on my own. Asking for help feels vulnerable, and I was abused as a child….I grew up never wanting to feel vulnerable like that again.”

 

Asking for help makes us feel very vulnerable.

YET, it’s really the only way we can end the shame we feel, end the overworked, disconnected, lonely vibe we’re suffering with…

 

What if we flipped “the shame of asking” into a ritual of sharing?

 

This is a new thing in human history, this shame in asking for help.

 

For most of our history, we have relied on each other, coming together in groups,

+ meeting in ritual to honor, thank, ask, and give to each other, our higher power, or ourselves.

 

Ritual: a mindful, regular series of actions taken by a person or group of people.

 

I’ve started thinking of rituals as my spiritual alarm clocks.

Rituals are spiritual alarm clocks

They help in bonding us with our loved ones or community…

Rituals help in focusing our thoughts…

They help in grieving so we don’t do it all alone…

They help in celebrating so we don’t do THAT all alone…

They help us forgiv (yourself or another)…

Rituals help us relieve stress…

Rituals help us recommit to our health…

Rituals help in connecting with other people when it’s scary to ask for intimate support…

 

Rituals help us be who we want to be.

They pop up in every culture on earth, in every home.

Call them “heart habits” if you will.

 

Reminders to get up, get focused, get my attention back from the distractions, and keep being more of who I want to be, ever day.

 

One of my recent Cravings Cleanse members, Kate, created this Ritual list, that she offered to share with you:

 

Rituals That heal

Here are some of the rituals that we focus on in my Cravings Cleanse + Mindset Makeover:

  1. Daily emails from me that help you think + act in your own best interests
  2. 8 oz. of warm water with lemon when you get up to start your digestion
  3. Weekly live calls with me + the group to learn, share, and celebrate
  4. Daily green + clean protein smoothies that taste great + heal digestion
  5. A whole module on rituals + habits, and how to create your best days

 

Rituals could be called habits with soul.

(A la Danielle Laporte’s “desires are goals with soul.”)

 

See, we are our habits:

40% of what you do today is what you did yesterday, including what you eat, do, and think.

 

So what if your habits became “heart habits” or rituals?

 

What if you didn’t try to do it alone, and instead joined a group of people who are actively creating rituals in their own lives?

 

I invite you to join us in the journey, The Cravings Cleanse + Mindset Makeover.

We start on 4/16, but we are already sharing on our private Facebook group, and I can tell this is going to be extraordinary.

 

Join this group of ritual seekers, start asking for (and receiving) the help you need, and leave your shame at the door.

 

 

Xo,

Alex

 

P.S. In my positive psychology training, and in my culinary school chef training, and in my health counselor training, I got really into the small, daily actions that have the biggest impact. That’s what the Cravings Cleanse + Mindset Makeover is. A powerful set of rituals that have big impact on your life. If you’re ready, go here to join us:

7 STEPS TO GROW YOUR HOPE

Hope.

It’s a powerful ingredient in a healthy life, but what if you’re all out of it?

What if you think you used up your last bit of hope for that boiling pot of traumathat’s been bubbling on your back burner for years?

I’ve felt pretty hopeless at times in my life:

- when my mom got so depressed when I was a kid because her sister and dad had both committed suicide within a couple years of each other, and I couldn’t do anything to make her happy…

- when I discovered my ex-husband’s infidelities and looked at our tiny son, not knowing what to do next…

- when I realized my vegan diet wasn’t healthy for me anymore, and I simply had to eat meat again, (which felt great) and then tell the world about it (which felt awful)

Feeling hopeless is, well, just horrible.

Like “nothing I do will ever be enough”, like “my efforts don’t make any difference”, and that (this is where my hopeless mind spirals always take me) “I’ll end up alone, dying, living under a bridge.”

Uninspired, alienated, forsaken, powerless, limited, oppressed, helpless. Yuck.

I’ve been there, and I know you have, too – because it’s normal, human, and super common. AND, most of us get out of the hellish hole of hopelessness at some point.

But there are times when you feel stuck + hopeless about one thing and struggle with it for years. It could be:

your weight
your relationship status
your career trajectory
or your purpose in this life…

Whatever your situation is, positive psychology and years of coaching people through health and life challenges have shown me that there are measurable steps to growing hope.

Why am I telling you about hope?

People who are “highly hopeful” are healthier + do better in life:
  • hope + optimism is correlated with less anxiety + less depression (read: less sugar + alcohol cravings)
  • high hope is linked with physical well-being (read: more movement + joy)
  • higher self esteem (read: better boundaries + higher confidence)
  • hope is one of the best predictors of overcoming challenges (read: more likely to stick with health goals)
3 Powers you need to grow hope, even if you think it’s hopeless:

What Power = define the hope (the desire, goal, change, thing or state of being that you crave)
Willpower = action or personal agency (your belief in your ability and tenacity, your drive)
Way Power = pathways to hope (possible routes to achieving/creating that thing, desire, goal)

But how can you increase the what, will, and way to feel more hopeful?


7 STEPS TO GROW YOUR HOPE

DO frame your hope in positive language
(get clear on what you DO want, which is a stronger pull than the wimpy push of what you DON’T want)

DO tell yourself you have chosen a good desire + it’s your job to follow through,
don’t allow yourself to be thrown off by roadblocks and challenges
(working with a coach like me is best for this – don’t do it alone + be left alone with your b*tch brain!)

DO learn to talk to yourself in a positive voice
(This is really the purpose of the Mindset Makeover skills in my Cravings Cleanse)

DO look back at previous successes in life goals
(remember that you’ve been through rough times in the past + list 3 ways you got out of them)

DO be able to laugh at yourself
(even when your mind says you’re “failing” or get worried things will never change

DO enjoy the process of getting to your goals
(not just focusing on final attainment of them vs. constantly thinking about how you’re doing ie. weighing yourself ever day to evaluate if you’re “good enough”)

DO recognize that you already have hope in you NOW!
(you’re here reading this, which tells me you’re actively looking for help + inspiration)


Sometimes kicking hopelessness to the curb requires self-love, grit, humor, and a bit of seething anger.

Well, in my experience, it always does.

Every time I’ve reached the point where my lack of hope was just too freakin’ annoying and insufferable to bear, I’ve made a declaration, a decision, and took action.

It wasn’t always the most graceful action, but in my experience, any action is better than sitting in that murky puddle of pity party tears I’d squeezed out.

And so at last, sweet one, I want you to share what your hopes are –

What are your hopes for the future?
What excites you about this desire?
Xo,
Interesting Image

P.S. And if this bit of writing inspired you, lit a fire inside you, or got you to smile just a little bit, maybe you’re ready to join my Cravings Cleanse + Mindset Makeover.

We start 4/16 – and there is a phenomenal group of ladies just like you ready to get started…xo

The Clean Slate Club, Retox/Detox, and starting over

Time to join the Clean Slate Club?

I celebrated the HECK out of my 40th birthday up until Friday!

Thanks to all of you who emailed or posted birthday wishes.
It really felt good (and honestly, a little vulnerable) to be so loved + celebrated.

I had a roller skating birthday party with girlfriends, just like when I was 12…
had champagne, pizza, fresh fries, three kinds of cake (all gluten-free, of course)…
long days, late nights, and lots of laughter with friends.

And no birthday is complete without a gluten-free Minecraft cake topped with action figures!

birthday

But today…
I’m ready for a clean slate.

A clean slate with food.

In my Positive Psychology certification, I’ve studied the “fresh start effect.”
These are timely landmarks we use to make a change in our lives or behavior.

Turning 30, 40, or 50, or better (yes, I just got 2 emails from 80-year-young women who loved Women, Food, And Desire)…
the change of seasons (yes, it’s actually spring)…
New Year’s Day…

It’s a symbolic, energetic new beginning.
A break with the past, a declaration that the old way is over.

I’ve mastered the art of giving myself a clean slate, a fresh start:

I live my life by a diet of my own creation – I call it “detox/retox.”

I eat good, fresh food that helps me stay healthy, feel the energy I crave, and stay well…
80% of the time.

20% of the time I party down shamelessly with great chocolate, popcorn, artisinal cheese, and the occasional Bloody Mary.

I don’t feel guilty when I indulge for a night, a weekend, or even a few weeks.
Because I know that I will hear my body’s message to get back to a clean slate…

That shameless part?
HUGE.

When you make yourself bad for “eating wrong” or “falling off the food wagon,”
you can’t really grow, because you always think of yourself as damaged.

Eating well + loving life is the goal.
That means feeling really good, and enjoying foods that help you live a life
and savor the flavors life has to offer.

Your body is wise, designed to feel + seek pleasure, and you deserve to feel great.

But that’s not how we feel, is it?

Most of us were members of the “clean plate club” as kids –
we were forced to eat our whole meal even if we felt full.

That led most of us to mistrust our bodies, not recognize hunger, and put our
body’s needs and desires second, after someone else’s expectations of us.

Time to join the

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Most of the time, feeling great means eating foods that rebuild your digestive system, which in turn create happy neurotransmitters, which in turn build a positive mood, confidence, and resilience to create, do, and stand for your desires in life.

Sometimes great means clinking a wine glass (or three) with your dearest friends,
celebrating each other and marking a great milestone.

Most of the time, we need to eat from a clean slate, while holding the frame
that “perfect” isn’t the goal, that we each have permission to be human.

I think it’s time to give yourself a clean slate.
To start fresh and begin anew with your body and food.

Imagine your life is a white board, covered with the mean thoughts, words,
and past “mistakes” you’ve made with food, dieting, and your body.

You can start fresh + wipe that slate clean, and start over.

But I can only hand you the eraser…
YOU have to do the work of getting clean.
I can even stand next to you, encouraging you as you wipe your body, slate, and habitual thoughts clean –
I can even hand you a nice fresh pen to rewrite your story.
But you still need to show up and do the work.

Are you ready for a clean slate?
If you are, join me and a growing community of women just like you in my “clean slate club” –

The Cravings Cleanse + Mindset Makeover.

This 8-week live coaching and online cleanse is the best program I’ve ever created to help you clean up your eating habits,
while transforming how you talk to yourself in your head, and how you think about food, pleasure, and more.

Filled with simple to follow food-based cleanse, you will finally feel in your own body what foods are right or wrong for you.
And you’ll get positive psychology tools to help you feel hopeful, strong, and oriented to grow.

And you’ll get your clean slate.
And feel like you truly deserve it.
‘Cause you do.

xo,
Alex

p.s. you can have a clean slate, a fresh start, any time you want. But doing it with a group of people, and a coach,
are the best ways I know to really make it happen for you. Come with us: http://alexandrajamieson.com/cravings-cleanse/

Feeding my craving for sisters + how I ended the mean girl shame

Cravings Cleanse with Alex Jamieson

I’m afraid of women.

Not my individual friends – I have dozens of amazing, trustworthy, inspiring girlfriends who I honestly feel are my spiritual sisters.

One-on-one, I love being with them.

But groups? Nope. Scary.

gossip

 

When I was in middle school, I was “mean girled.” I was the new kid at my junior high, having moved to Los Angeles with my mom so she could finish her degree after my folks divorced. I made friends pretty quickly, and was soon eating lunch with a clique of popular, smart girls, with whom I took honors english, typing, and history. Then one day, the fun turned sour:

I was a hungry, growing girl who ran around a lot, skate boarding, riding my bike, and walking to school every day. So I ate a big lunch. Two hot dogs. Every day.

This one girl started staring at me and my 2 hot dogs. She stared at me while I ate. I could feel her judgment and gaze, and I got more and more uncomfortable.

Then she started gossiping about me to the other girls. How I was a pig for eating so much. How gross it was. How they shouldn’t let me sit there. Not all the girls paid attention to her, but after a few days I didn’t sit with them anymore. I sat with other kids or by myself.

And I felt so nervous walking into our classes together. Because they stopped talking to me. They wouldn’t sit with me on the bus, or stand in line with me on our class trip to Disney Land.

It was horrible.

But I didn’t realize until recently how this incident led me to put up a wall between me and groups of females.

My 40th birthday is this week, and I decided that it’s time to put this old story to rest. So I invited 15 women to my house for a sister circle.

It was the first time I’d had a group of lady friends over to our new home, since we finally had the boxes unpacked and pictures hung.

And it was my first time hosting a sister circle. What’s a sister circle, you may well ask?

The idea started with my friend Nisha, who created SisterHoodDay.com – when I first saw her email about it, I flinched.

I wanted to spend more time with women, to create in-person communities and supportive live groups, as I’ve been doing for years in my online cleanses and programs. In those online coaching programs I lead women through 8-week transformational frameworks to help them feel + look well, and end the war with their bodies. I love my online groups, and the supportive community they create is astounding.

Yet, getting together in person with a group of women felt dangerous. But I craved the deeper connection that comes with in-person gatherings and support.

So I sent a few emails, vacuumed, made some scones, and took a deep breath. I couldn’t believe how nervous I was! I even got my nails done, in an effort to impress these women.

In fact, I put more effort into getting ready for this group than I did for my first date with my partner Bob. And the stakes were higher:

  • would they all like each other?
  • would they still like me?
  • would I screw up the circle?
  • how would I “run” a circle?!
  • would they think I was a total dork for putting on this woo-woo women’s thing?

As each woman arrived, I greeted her with a hug, thanked her for getting up early and trudging to Brooklyn on a Saturday morning, and handed her a cup of tea or water.

As I watched all these beautiful, loving women meet each other, I realized I had been hiding from them, but I’d also kept them from each other – my own fear had gotten in the way of their possible friendships.

We gathered in my living room, circled up on the couch and floor pillows, and I shared why I had asked them to join me.

Cravings Cleanse with Alex Jamieson

When I was through with my story, two other women immediately shared their own middle-school “mean girl” tales, and that THEY had also been afraid of women, made easier relationships with men, and felt disconnected from their bodies as a result of that early girlhood experience.

The tears flowed, more stories about body-shame, food trouble, and laughter about similarities bubbled up throughout the morning.

Finally, relaxed and bonded by the oxytocin which you could almost cut with a knife, I asked my friends to share their desires for the coming spring.

I believe that if we truly want our lives to match our inner fantasies, we have to speak our desires out loud, and ask the people in our lives to support us as we create them.

And they shared such beautiful desires and cravings:

  • to get in the best shape of my life
  • to find a partner
  • to have great sex with my partner
  • to be a YouTube star
  • to recommit to my own healing path + end the fight with food

By the end of just two hours, we were sisters. Women who had never met before were hugging, sharing phone numbers and hooking up for later dates.

Everyone glowed as they left. Everyone thanked me for putting the circle together. And I felt incredibly humbled, safe, and supported.

Now I have another craving – to continue getting women together in circles, where we can support, honor, and love each other on our evolving journeys.

xo,

Alex

Join my 8-week Cravings Cleanse which starts 4/16.

Our online sisterhood is a safe, fun place of healing and support, I guarantee it!

My To-Don’t List – Mindset Makeover Technique

A cleanse is about more than just taking a few foods out of your diet - it's about a mindset makeover

I’ll be 40 in 4 days…

And what I hear from so many women, both older + younger, is that they want to feel like they’re living their own lives.

And that too often we wake up one day, or look in the mirror, and say:

what am I doing? Is THIS what I want?

I felt that way when I realized I couldn’t trust my marriage and asked for a divorce.

I felt that way when my body was breaking down, and I knew I needed to eat meat again.

And that feeling shows up in daily choices around how I spend my time, how I run my business, and what I do with my energy.

Our deep fears keep us from sharing our quirks, truths, and following our cravings. Cravings for experiences, creation, well-being, and adventure.

Fears of being publicly shamed, Fears of being selfish, being too much, being too loud, Just being ourselves. And then made wrong for our truth.

“What you say no to is as important as what you say yes to.”

I’ve gotten pretty clear about what I want, and sometimes that requires getting clear on what I DON’T want.

In positive psychology there are studies showing big birthdays (anything with a 0 at the end of it…30, 40, 50, you get it) instigate big changes, big goals, and an awareness of time passing.

What I WON’T do…AKA My To-Don’t List:

eat foods that drain my energy, and put me in a food coma

spend more than 30 minutes on social media a day

let my phone distract me from my family get lost in gossip magazines + reality TV (AKA the “comparison trap”)

let fear get in the way of sharing my ideas with the world

waste energy judging other women

read my book reviews online

apologize for taking time + resources for my self care

apologize for taking up space

spend time on projects that don’t serve me, my readers and listeners

get lost in negative mind chatter that my body and life aren’t good enough

respond to negative online attacks – haters gonna hate, and I don’t need to throw them any more fuel

To-DON’Ts from my readers + Cleanse members:

Joanne: I will no longer undervalue what I do for a living (graphic designer) or accept less than I deserve…

Allison: 1) apologize for needing a lazy day, AKA staying in bed and watching TV till 2pm while snuggling with my cat 2 ) feel guilty for satisfying a food craving 3) work for corporate America

Jan: stop using the word “just”…just a 5K., as in “just” walking rather than running

Carolyn: my story that there is not enough love in the world, my story that things have to be hard, my squicky relationship with money

What I WILL do…(AKA big motivating desires, or things I want to fill my life up with)

Move + stretch my body daily in ways that feel good, grounding + strengthening

Ask myself how I want to feel when I choose my meals

Take random, surprise days off with my son + go make memories together

Write as if my soul will wilt if I don’t express it, because it does

Cook + eat foods that boost my energy (recipes)

Get 7-9 hours of sleep a night

Meet up with at least 2 friends a week Read a new book for fun every month

Get the tattoo I’ve been dreaming of, now

A cleanse is about more than just taking a few foods out of your diet - it's about a mindset makeover

My To Don’t List

Take a trapeze class Roller skating birthday party (done!)

Frequently initiate juicy dates with my man

Read and play daily with my son

Take time for myself to read, walk, be in nature

Ask for time off, time away, time alone, and not feel guilty for it

Take my bike for a tune up so I can ride the first nice day of spring

Call my Dad, brother, and Grandma regularly

Write thank you letters to all the people who helped me spread the word about Women, Food, And Desire

Take hot baths and read inspiring books

Tell everyone I love them any time I feel like it

Draw, paint, color, and play my ukulele – and share them all with people

Give away $100 as a family every month to awesome charities…

Live as if 40 were my LAST birthday, because really, who knows?

This could be it. This could be my last year – or I could have 40 more years, as glorious as the first batch. What will I do with this time? How do I want to feel? What do I want to remember on my death bed? How much love can I share?

I want to hear from you: What will you NOT do anymore? What’s NOT serving you? And what DO YOU WANT?

Make a list. Declare it. Do it. xo, AJ

P.S. The spring Cravings Cleanse + Mindset Makeover starts 4/16 – go here to learn more + join:

A crave-worthy book: Win The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte

How often does someone ask you: how do you want to feel?

Not enough.

I’ve been using Danielle LaPorte’s book The Desire Map in my own life for a couple of years, and it was influential in guiding my work with clients and writing Women, Food, And Desire.

I find that when we really dive deep and get clear on what we WANT, rather than what we don’t want, life can shift in miraculous ways.

Win the Desire Map from Danielle LaPorte

Win the Desire Map from Danielle LaPorte

Today I’m teaming up with Danielle LaPorte to give away a digital copy of her groundbreaking book, The Desire Map.

Her guide will help you define your “goals with soul” and help you never make another to-do list and New Year’s resolution ever again.
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Deliciously pretty skin care – win a $200 gift basket from AnnMarie Skincare!

Two good rules to live by:

1. If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all. 2. Don’t put stuff on your skin that isn’t safe to put in your mouth. Your skin care, make up, hair care, deodorant, and any other beauty aids should be toxin-free, and made from super-healthy ingredients. Because your skin is porous, yo! You absorb everything through your skin, so it’s time to upgrade that old toxic Maybelline with AnnMarie.   annmarie Wouldn’t you love to have a simple bathroom cabinet that looked like this? I LOVE Annmarie Gianni’s skincare – it’s non-toxic, and truly feels like it’s feeding my skin when I put it on.

So I’m happy to announce that we teamed up to give away a

$200 gift basket of incredible products to one lucky winner!

annemarie give away

Enter here, and be sure to go check out their awesome products online!

 
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How I got to sleep again…Win my FAV Magnesium from Perfect Supplements!

I was a tired, frustrated mess until I started using Natural Calm…

Win my favorite Magnesium supplement from Perfect Supplements!

Win my favorite Magnesium supplement from Perfect Supplements!

I was suffering from insomnia for over a year, and it was really wrecking my life. The stress of my mom getting sick while I was under a writing deadline for my book were all too much for my adrenals.

Total exhaustion, spiraling hormones, grouchy mood, and a total collapse of my libido ….

and did you know that ONE bad night of sleep can make you insulin resistant for a few days? That’s crazy.

Magnesium is one of the best first steps when it comes to supplementing for insomnia – and chocolate cravings!

Yup, the first nutritional cause of chocolate cravings is low magnesium levels.

 

give-away-a-thon_perfect

 
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So today I’m giving away some of my favorite helpers from Perfect Supplements – a gift box including my favorite Natural Calm Magnesium (which I take before bed) and my favorite Perfect Cordyceps, a great medicinal mushroom I take for boosting my energy and my immune system.

Enter to win here from me and Perfect Supplements!

 

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