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154 How to Fall in Love with Anyone: an Interview with Mandy Len Catron

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Hi, I’m Alex!

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How does love actually work? Is it really possible to fall in love with anyone? Today we’re going into a powerful interview about love, but before we get there, we’re going to talk about a moment of extreme hatred and violence in this country. This weekend, in America, there was a surge in racist violence. We have also seen an upswing in racist slurs, graffiti, and violence in America, since the election in 2016. Alex feels that it’s up to her to speak out and make it known that the racist violence in Charlottesville, Virginia this weekend is really reprehensible.

If you’re at all like her, and the idea of black people being tear gassed and black children being shot is so wrong, then it’s really time to step up. This is an extension of the Civil Rights Movement of the 1960’s. This surge in white nationalism is not about protecting a European culture, it’s morally wrong and it’s racism and that’s Alex’s deeply held spiritual belief.  She feels that you’re actually complicit if you’re willing to give these people the benefit of the doubt. You need to learn to speak up in the face of this rhetoric of racism. This country is empowering racism and it’s up to us to use our voices to speak out against it. You need to vote, march, demonstrate and give money to organizations that are trying to protect people, like the Southern Poverty Law Centre, which works to protect Civil Rights for all, or the ACLU (American Civil Liberties Union).  We cannot look away from the racism and violence in this country, as it really is so important to our health,  as a nation.

In today’s interview with Mandy Len Catron, we are going to explore love on a really profound level. Mandy’s written a book, which is a beautiful tale as well as a process that she managed to unearth, where you really can fall in love with anyone. Mandy has thirty-six questions in her process, that can be used to foster compassion, understanding, and connection with literally anyone. All of us can really use this powerful tool, in this day and age, to help us to connect with those we feel hatred or anger either from or towards. Alex really encourages you to listen in very carefully and with an open heart, as  Mandy talks about the book she wrote in 2015, which became a New York Times Modern Love Piece.  It’s called How To Fall In Love With Anyone and it went insanely viral, being one of the most shared articles in The Times, that year.  In our current times, we really need to learn how to connect with the people who are different from us or the ones that we don’t know much about. That is, ultimately, what will save us. Listen in now!


Music Credit: My good friend Lindsay Katt – https://lindsaykatt.bandcamp.com/track/stick-by-me

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Show Notes:

  • Mandy gives the broad strokes of what she wrote, which has had such a huge impact on so many people.
  • Mandy talks about what she did, to find out what romantic love really is.
  • Some of Mandy’s ideas about love come from Helen Fisher, an anthropologist with an interest in why humans love,  from an evolutionary perspective.
  • What we do with our love impulses is very much determined by our culture.
  • Love is always changing, yet it is a biological impulse.
  • Mandy shares the story of how she really became infatuated by her parents’ love story. When they got a divorce, she started to question the narratives that we have around love.
  • A new metaphor for love- love as a work of art. Mandy explains what a better way to talk about love is all about.
  • Falling in love as an intentional practice. Thinking about what you really want from a relationship is a really empowering thing to do.
  • Mandy’s take on Reality TV and what it’s done to our beliefs about love.
  • The costs for going public about polyamory can be really high.
  • Mandy talks about how she got to the idea of using the economic term The Fallacy of Sunk Costs and what it means in terms of relationships.
  • Is it really possible to fall in love with anyone?
  • Alex shares some of the thirty-six questions. They can even be used as a way to reopen the door, in estranged relationships and you can really get to know yourself in the process too.
  • Why the four-minute eye gaze is so important.


Mandy’s website: www.mandylencatron.com

Book: What Love Is And What It Could Be by Carey Jenkins

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