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209 Xanet Pialet on Living An Orgasmic Life

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Hi, I’m Alex!

If you need a little help to start playing by your own rules, there’s a few ways we can work together more closely.



We’re serving up some self-love for Valentine’s Day. It’s time to ask yourself what you really want and to listen to your body and soul. We are diving deep today into all things pleasure. Join us.

Xanet Pialet is a teacher, and author of the bestselling book, Living an Orgasmic Life. She’ll explain tantra and why this topic is so important. Pleasure and feeling good is an important topic for women, so we can create and have what we want. Xanet explains how she helps people get through all the rules we have about sex, sensuality, and pleasure. Through her private coaching practice, Xanet helps individuals and couples who struggle with desire, sexless marriages, and sexual abuse and trauma.

Music Credit: My good friend Lindsay Katt – https://lindsaykatt.bandcamp.com/track/stick-by-me

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Show Highlights:

  • Xanet had a rough relationship with sex, starting at age 15 when sex became associated with panic, anxiety, and pain
  • How she went on to have a sexless marriage for over two decades until she and her husband went their separate ways
  • How her transformation began with a spiritual awakening
  • Acknowledging “shame trauma” and how it played into Xanet’s attitude
  • Xanet’s current relationship with sex, being a fully sexually expressed woman who connects with desire and the absence of desire
  • Xanet refers to herself as a Sex and Intimacy coach who helps women clear trauma and start to reconnect with and accept their body, and start to experience and explore pleasure with their bodies
  • How society pressures women with messages that they are programmed to say NO to sex
  • The misconception that sex isn’t for a woman’s pleasure
  • The “slut shaming” that occurs for women who enjoy sex
  • Our hyper-sexualized world and why we’re afraid to talk about sex
  • How repressive religious cultures have led to Puritanical views of sexuality
  • How sexual abuse and trauma impact our ability to enjoy pleasure:
    • We lose our sense of safety and trust
    • We get triggered reactions at being touched
    • We hold on to guilt and shame
  • Xanet’s body-based healing work to release trauma from the body
  • How she helps people realize what safety feels like in your body
  • Tantra–the ancient spiritual practice to achieve bliss and oneness, connecting with sexual energy 
  • Different attitudes about self-loving, self-pleasuring, and masturbation, including shame and discomfort with our bodies
  • How women give away their power, along with their pleasure
  • How women differ in their arousal patterns and how men want guidance
  • “The plague of the shrinking libido,” which occurs across all ages, because we are distracted and disconnected as a society
  • Sexual polarity in the masculine and feminine roles
  • Xanet’s book title and her success stories of living the orgasmic life and the profound changes that can happen
  • Living in the flow and living with intuition


www.ecstaticliving.com  Find out more about Xanet’s work.

Pure by Linda Kay Klein

Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski