“There is a crack in everything,
That’s how the light gets in”
By Leonard Cohen
Last week I broke a coffee mug. The handle knocked on the edge of the sink and chipped off completely. I was surprised and bummed. Fishing the pieces out of the drain, I turned and dumped the cup and broken handle into the trash.
In Japan, there is a beautiful 500-year-old art known as kintsugi, or “golden joinery.” People use gold and other precious metals to fix broken pieces of pottery back together. The finished pieces are even more beautiful and special than before:
I didn’t think learning this gorgeous art would be worth it for a $5 mug, but a flash of insight struck me as I stood over the trash can:
I wish we could use this precious metal process for ourselves, so it was obvious when looking at a person where their broken places had been mended.
It’s not always so clear when we encounter someone what their past wounds are. We can’t see the traumas that have been healed, the current crises they’re feeling and fixing, or the old destructive habit they’ve transformed.
We can’t see the gorgeous golden lines that energetically line their body and soul.
As Shimode, a Japanese kintsugi master, has said, “It’s a beautiful way of living, that you fix your dish by yourself.”
We all have these golden cracks in us. We have all lived beautifully, fixing and healing ourselves, over and over again.
When we recommit to our worth, we are becoming kintsugi masters.
When we move forward and rebuild our lives after divorce, disease, abuse, or trauma, we are energetically picking up the tools and gold.
We can learn to see the potential in our broken places.
We upcycle ourselves.
We repurpose our pain.
We reincarnate our spirit rather than throw ourselves away in the trash.
The next time you see yourself in the mirror, look for the cracks of gold where you have lovingly, patiently put yourself back together.
Maybe you did it with help, but it’s still your art.
Perhaps a friend supported you in putting those pieces back together.
In my own divorce there were a few girlfriends and guy friends who added their own silver and platinum to my gold as I gently poured the shiny magic of love back into my body and soul.
In healing my body over the years, I’ve asked doctors, healers, and therapists of every kind for their input and guidance. Their precious metals swirled with my own to mend and strengthen.
The truth is, no matter which doctor, coach, or counselor you turned to, no matter what advice they offered that set you on the right course, you were the master healer.
It doesn’t matter which book you read, you did the work to take the steps towards wholeness.
We all need help mending our broken places, and there is beauty and humanity in that truth. Because it reminds us that we aren’t alone. Ever.
When you look in the mirror to remind yourself of the golden seams where you mended yourself together after falling apart, remember the beloved helpers who handed you the pieces as you did the hard work of healing. They were there, by your side, and you were never alone.
And always, always, choose people to support your self-healing who see the beauty in mending the pieces. Avoid people who want you to throw away the bits that have fallen away. Look out for people to press on your cracks, the ones who search for the mended places to push and test the strength of your mending.
And the ultimate truth is this: Your “broken” self isn’t really broken at all.
You’re simply reorganizing your pieces, history, strengths, and beliefs into a new, even more beautiful version of you. You’re probably searching for the gold and metals to fuse your parts back together.
Always ask for support from someone who sees the most gorgeous version of you that you’re becoming.
Ready for the mentor-coach to help you put the pieces back together, make your life stronger at the seams, and connect the dots? Apply here for a private coaching session with Alex to find out if private coaching is right for you, right now: