When everything links to everything else, as our internet-fueled world does, it’s hard to focus.
And when you’re a highly sensitive woman with a full life and list of must-dos, not just to-dos, who takes care of work, family, community, and self, the ability to focus and feel calm feels totally impossible.
All this distraction is harmful.
It’s sucking your personal power and leading you down a dangerous path.
- Maybe you walk, talk, and text simultaneously, not seeing you’re about to get run over
- You put on makeup, listen to NPR, and drink coffee while driving, putting yourself and other drivers at risk
- You interrupt business conversations in order to take incoming calls or respond to messages from other people
All of these distracted behaviors mask a deeper need or emotional block begging for healing:
- When you walk and text, you’re trying to connect and don’t want to be alone, and may be yearning for deeper relationships
- Racing in the car while putting on makeup is your need for approval and “to look good” even when it puts yourself and others in danger
- The distracted boss in you deeply desires to be seen as important and desired by others, even jeopardizing a current, real-life relationship for other people’s attention
What you’re really yearning for, what your body and soul are asking for, are still deeply important desires, but you’re going about them the wrong way.
When you bring your attention to those underlying, real desires you’ll begin to see ways to create and have what you really want:
- Close friendships with healthy boundaries
- A sense of inner beauty and calm
- High self-esteem and good working relationships based on mutual respect
Those real desires are in stark contrast to how you feel now, which is scattered, anxious, and disconnected. The feelings of anxiety you’re struggling with about not getting enough done causes restlessness.
When you’re restless and not able to settle, your body creates and feels what I call STATIC.
The discomfort of feeling this STATIC and not being able to feel peaceful leads us to:
- emotionally eat to help us calm down
- get addicted to caffeine and/or sugar which simply fuel the distraction in the misguided belief that if we were more hyper, we’d finally get ahead
- not trust our inner wisdom because we can’t feel our intuition in our panic state
- lose our cool at the wrong people like our kids or spouse
- do things halfway or be sloppy, diminishing our reputation
- not even be able to relax when we go away on vacation or plan “me time”
They key is not to vilify your multi-tasking tendency, nor technology.
The key is to see your self-diagnosed ADD as your body-soul-mind asking for attention.
- Do one thing at a time with full attention
- For the next 20 minutes, do ONE. THING. AT. A. TIME.
- Don’t listen to music while you work.
- Don’t drink coffee and drive.
- Just read, without the news playing in the background.
- Talk on the phone, without writing down your to-do list.
- Complete each thing, and let it flow into the next thing.
- Notice the start and end of each task
- Notice how each small step flows into the next without a gap.
- Notice how your mind tries to interrupt with impatient ideas about how you should be doing more, and going faster.
- Brush those thoughts aside.
- Bring back your focus and attention.
- Keep going.
- Come back to the present moment.
- With your full-body attention, you bring your skills, desires, and strengths to life.
This is where your personal power resides.
This is where you really start to take the reigns of your life.
Your attention helps you to focus on what you truly want, and go about creating it in deeply meaningful ways.
HERE ARE 8 JOURNALING QUESTIONS TO HELP YOU TURN THIS AROUND FAST, AND USE YOUR POWER OF ATTENTION TO CREATE MOVEMENT IN YOUR LIFE:
What ways do you get distracted?
What ways do you commonly multitask?
How is your lack of attention impacting your relationships?
How are your multitasking, distracted ways impacting your health and energy?
How are these distracted habits detracting from your life goals?
Pick the three most important habits you wrote about: what core desire might you be trying to achieve?
Of all the things you routinely do, what activities will you commit to transforming through focused attention now?
When we are focused on what we desire, rather than getting pulled off course, we make consistent effort towards our highest potential, and enjoy the journey a whole lot more.