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The Work Starts Before You’re Ready: Uncommon Skills Of Happy Women Who Lead

Hi, I’m Alex!

If you need a little help to start playing by your own rules, there’s a few ways we can work together more closely.

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I am on fire to share this with you…

It’s a tale of a woman who trusted her soul, shut up her mind, and expanded her life in incredible ways.

Have you ever had a goal or dream that you prepared for but never really began?

Have you held a secret desire that you made preliminary spreadsheets and lists for but never truly committed to?

This is for you, sister.

Stop Preparing. Just Start.

If you’re like Brittany, a private client of mine, you’re a self-described Type A Perfectionist with a hidden creative side. Nothing less than 3 gold stars will do.

She had a successful career in tech, has a real passion for dance and writing, and her apartment was gorgeously decorated, but always in process.

She wanted to finally drop “the last 10 pounds,” get her creative project off the ground, and start dating. Well, ultimately she wanted an amazing husband, but dating would be a good start.

However, she had a lot of reasons why she wouldn’t fully allow herself to be fully invested in dating. Perfectly reasonable excuses were ready at hand:

  • She had to drop the weight before she could date

  • She didn’t feel attractive enough if she couldn’t fit into certain “date” clothes

  • She couldn’t commit to walking every day because she was too busy with work

  • Eating an anti-inflammatory diet (and skipping the midnight bowl of popcorn) that helped her body felt too hard (even though it worked well before)

These reasons were keeping her from what she truly wanted. Her desires. Her life.

She believed her body was the enemy. But she was wrong.

The enemy wasn’t her body.

The enemy wasn’t food.

The enemy wasn’t even a lack of time.

The enemy is the Bitch Brain. AKA Resistance.

This enemy afflicts us all and is born from our very human Negativity Bias. It’s a very old, very useful survival tool that is always looking for what’s wrong.

The noisy Bitch Brain chatters with excuses, alibis, eye-rolling justifications, and 100 reasons why you can’t/shouldn’t do what you actually desire to do, be, and have.

But the Bitch Brain (aka Negativity Bias/Resistance) is just a mindset that we high-achieving women battle. And it’s a foe that can be vanquished.

THE SOLUTION:

Stop preparing.

Begin now.

Don’t wait to be “ready.”

Wild, unplanned, and magical things happen when we start before we’re ready.

I’ll borrow some great words from Goethe here:

“Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.”

Or Nike: “Just Do It.”

You want to do more research?

More certifications?

Drop the weight?

Nope.

Consider this your notice.

No more putting off what you know, deep down, you are already ready for.

Your work has already begun.

How do I know?

Because I’ve done this. Many times.

I’ve gotten more certifications, thinking I needed more “education and proof” before I could really help people and charge the prices other coaches were charging for their work.

I prepared and prepared, planned and practiced before launching, missing the boat to be at the front of the pack.

I’ve pulled my punches, softened my approach, and gave up on what I wanted.

What I, and Brittany, were actually missing?

Belief. Faith. Trust.

There’s a concept in Positive Psychology (one of the many bonus certifications I pursued – but hey I love learning, so no regrets, and I’m actually using it):

PRONOIA:

It’s the opposite of paranoia; the belief that Life is out to support you.

The Universe is out to support me.

Imagine trusting that. Stay with me…

Belief. Faith. Trust.

1: Belief.

Do you believe your desires, passions, and goals are good?

I mean morally good (if you’re here with me, I have no doubt of your intentions).

Like, do you believe that your ideas and desires are kind, righteous, moral, and even downright divinely inspired?

I believe they are.

2: Faith.

Do you have faith that there are at least 3 people who will benefit from your desire?

Even if your desire seems totally selfish, I believe your desires and goals always benefit other people:

  • I want an awesome husband (your future husband benefits)

  • I want to have kids (the world needs more good people like you)

  • I want to drop 20 lbs. (your kids benefit from an energized mom)

  • I want to make $50K more this year (you give and invest wisely and your security matters)

  • I want to feel sexy and beautiful in my skin (other women are inspired by you!)

And here’s the foundational truth that I have come to believe over the last 18 years of coaching:

When women get more of what we want, the entire world benefits. We are powerful  creators, fixers, and changers in the world.

3: Trust.

Do you trust yourself and The Universe? Life? God/dess?

Your first knee-jerk answer may be NO, but hear me out:

If you’re here, reading my stuff, searching for answers and inspiration then there is a part of you that always trusts.

  • Do you trust Gravity to always hold you to the earth?

  • Do you trust your dog to always love you?

  • Do you trust your body to heal a cut, cold, or wound?

That’s enough miracles that prove you trust.

Now reflect that Trust into a mirror – or pick up your phone and reverse the camera so you’re looking at your face. Repeat out loud:

  1. I believe your ideas, passions, and desires are good.

  2. I have faith that at last 3 people will be benefitted by me getting what I want.

  3. I trust you. And I trust the Universe to have our back.

Now. You’ve done all the work necessary. Now get to work!

Start from this powerful place.

You already have all you need to begin. And probably get very far.

Don’t overthink.

Just start the thing.

You can adjust later. I’m here to help.

Now, go.

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