To Ask For Help & Share Your Wins Is Brave & Necessary For Your Next Stage Goals
Why is it so hard to ask for help?
Why is it so hard to share our wins?
And how are these two things connected?
The answer may be shocking, but when you see the truth and take this one different action, all of your goals and dreams are closet to reality:
Many of us (millions, really) grew up with family patterns and dynamics that had us develop survival skills of:
- People pleasing
- Do It All Myself-ism. (AKA Super Woman-ing, AKA Good Girl-ing)
I got through a pretty traumatic childhood and early adulthood with some success because I was so good at people-pleasing and being a self-starter.
I was driven.
Some would say a work-a-holic.
It wasn’t until things started to fall apart that I realized my people-pleasing and “do it all myself” habits were keeping me from growing any further.
There was a limit to how much I could do alone.
And because of my lifelong habit of people-pleasing, I felt disconnected from my true self.
It’s hard to hear our truth and stand out for who we truly are when we’ve worked so hard to NOT upset the people around us.
When I finally began to ask for help, it was really very difficult.
I felt ashamed, at first.
To ask for help meant I wasn’t perfect, which went against everything I had worked so hard to project as a child.
If you’re like me, your nervous system hops into overdrive when you ask for help.
We feel nervous, anxious, jittery.
Because asking for help means we have a goal or a dream we believe in.
And we want other people to believe that our dreams and goals are good.
The same thing can happen when we share our wins or celebrations.
Sharing our wins is asking for attention.
Asking for others to celebrate with us makes us feel nervous because we are stepping into a spotlight, which many of tried to stay out of most of our lives.
When we celebrate, we are admitting we have goals and dreams we believe in.
When we share a win, we are asking other people we care about to believe that our work and efforts, our very selves, are good and worthy.
When we ask for help and share our celebrations we are asking to be loved for who we are.
And that feels very upsetting.
Can fill us with fear.
I know my nervous system goes a little haywire when I do either.
And here’s the next 100% truth about asking for help and sharing your wins:
It’s necessary for your growth, connection, long-term success, and joy.
How can you begin to change your life-long patterns and ask for help in getting to your goals and dreams?
How can you find a safe place to share your wins, and therefore overcome the life-long patterns of People-Pleasing Perfectionist Good Girl syndrome? (AKA: PPPGG)
What works for me, and what I do myself, is joining intentional groups of women to share and ask.
Some are called masterminds.
Some are called mistress-minds.
Some are retreats or networking groups.
It is the one consistent place I put my energy over and over again, especially in the last 10 years as I’ve imagined bigger and bolder dreams and goals for myself, both personally and professionally.
Having a group of women you admire, can be honest with, feel safe with, and know that they’ll be there through mistakes, wins, messy figuring-it-out conversations, joys, and let-downs…
This spring I’ve created three opportunities for you to come and get the safe, supportive place you need to begin reprogramming yourself.
The Creation 2020 Retreats are a series of virtual and in-person events, beginning mid-March, ranging from an online group coaching day to a three-day in-person retreat at Red Rock Resort and Spa.
Whether you decide to join us or now, I want you to know that I see how brave and strong you’ve been to get this far.
And I believe that you are strong and brave enough to go even further.
We will get on a short, private call about the retreats, your goals, and what would work best for you: http://alexandrajamieson.com/creation2020form