To Do More, Stop Doing It All (For my PPPGGs)
This is for you, my PPPGG (people pleasing perfectionist good girls)…
How do you know if you’re a PPPGG?
You put the company, other people, and “rules” ahead of your own passions and well-being…
You’re doing it all (yet there’s a persistent voice inside that wants more)…
You have this faint scream coming from down deep inside that demands you follow your passion before it goes extinct…
Yet, you can’t imagine how to pivot, because you fear if you stop doing it all, the whole thing will come crashing down…
Here’s what I know about you:
You’re very good at what you do.
You’re a 5-star, educated, top-performer.
You’re fun to be around, have hidden talents, and really like yourself.
You’ve been at the top of your game, you run the show, meet your goals.
When quarterly reports come in, you’re at 125%.
You’ve got the fullest of schedules (there’s a secret cause to your crazy schedule)…
You take care of others, pitch in, show up.
On the outside, life looks good.
(and you love it that way)
You are a PPPGG, after all.
But you’re hiding a couple of secrets:
This. Isn’t. IT.
Yes, you’re proud of your work, but you have a creative project burning inside.
Your heart and soul are begging to be expressed in a new way.
Every time you think about even giving that creative muse an hour on the weekend, “busy” happens. Again.
Even if you do sit down to explore your writing or other creative muse, your brain is so filled with what you haven’t done, obligations, or the kids are banging on the door, that you can’t get into the zone.
The other secret:
You secretly sabotage your creativity and soul’s work with stuff.
You tell yourself:
“I’ll do it when…”
- the house is clean
- the kids are away for a whole weekend
- I get my end-of-year bonus
- I drop the 20 pounds
- I do some research on the best pens to write with
- (and this is the worst one) I’ll do it when I deserve to do it.
Things have to be “perfect” before you’ll let yourself to relax and take the creative risk, following your soul’s calling to:
- Write the book
- Change the focus of your coaching business from food to spiritual healing
- Redefine your love relationship (start dating, pursue divorce, etc)
- Really heal your body and relationship with pleasure
- Take the time off to imagine and create your next business plan
The idea of really following your body and soul messages to take on a new way of living brings out a fear that you may have missed before.
In order to have it all, you have to stop spinning all the plates.
In order to get what you want, there are things you have to stop doing now.
It’s like a snake shedding her skin… in order to grow into the next version of herself she must shed the skin that is too small for her. She has to leave behind the comfortable confines of the last version of herself.
So what’s keeping you small, stuck in that old skin?
What are the things you keep doing that secretly sabotage you from pursuing your soul callings? What little, unnecessary stuff do you persist in keeping on your plate?
It may look like ceaseless activity, modern chaos, social media black holes, unnecessary obligations, toxic people, self-created dramatic distractions…
These things create so much static in your life, you give yourself a “free pass” to avoid doing what you know would bring your soul into full view, that which you truly desire.
A tale from a recent client:
M owns two thriving businesses and is a partner in a third, is a pillar of her community, and is getting her Masters degree. She loves to dress up, plan parties, and has been running the show for years.
She also needed a major adrenal intervention, a strategic dietary clean-up, and was totally burnt out, but couldn’t drop the 20 pounds.
It became clear through our transformational mentoring together that old trauma wounds from childhood had her stuck in a cycle of “doing it all.”
“Maybe if I do everything perfectly, for everyone, all the time, I’ll finally get the love I wanted from my parents.”
When her office moved locations? She was out there loading boxes with the delivery company. (She built a million dollar company – why was she killing her body doing this?)
Her parties were over-the-top perfect and she stayed up all night checking and rechecking every detail.
Her paperwork systems were out of date, which required her to spend unnecessary hours every week checking everything by hand when a competent accountant or money manager could have done it for her, probably better.
She felt obligated to say yes to, and attend, every invitation.
She was, in short, doing it all.
And had no time or energy left for her true desires.
Her brain and inner child were saying “I must do it all so I will be deserving of love.”
Her body and soul were saying, clearly:
Lay back, woman. Take time off. You’re at the end of your rope. Invest in your healing and self-care like never before.
Time is running out. You can’t go on like this.
Through our transformational body and soul coaching, she finally heard her soul. The truth.
She took a month off. Said NO to invitations. Healed her body. Hired people to do the heavy lifting…
It seems like an easy thing, from the outside, to take time off. To invest in yourself.
But for women like M, NOT doing it all feels scary AF.
Like the world will come crashing down.
Like they won’t deserve any love from anyone.
But it didn’t come crashing down.
And she did get the love she needed.
She finally proved to her body and soul that she loved herself enough.
That she was deserving enough.
It didn’t come crashing down for her, and it won’t for you.
The Universe is speaking to you through your desires.
Your desires are your soul’s do to list.
M started dancing, with all that newfound energy.
As a child she had taken ballet, but had to give it up.
Now, in her late 50s, she is dancing ballet again. On pointe.
She reclaimed her life, energy, body, and time.
In short, her life became her own again.
She started writing again.
By investing in herself at a high level, she proved to herself that she was deserving of her desires. Which is backwards from how she expected it to work:
Instead of “proving” she deserved it to the outside world, and ghosts from her past, she gave herself what she wanted, which made her happy and strong, which is what she wanted in the first place.
Now her life is spacious. She has time for the people she really wants, has more energy to pursue her creative side, and her businesses are still healthy and running well.
If your head and heart have been in conflict, you know the struggle I’m talking about: the deep suffering that comes from that conflict and the fear of letting things drop away.
My invitation to you:
Let your body and soul lead you.
Your mind, with support, will begin to trust their guidance. You’ll find the relaxation, resilience and trust you desire. Your intuition will come back tenfold. You truly will feel satisfaction in more and more areas of your life.
And more energy to create, create, CREATE!
You’re exactly where you need to be, questioning if the way you’ve been doing it is the way forward for you.
If you’re ready to enter into the profoundly transformational work with me as your mentor, go here and tell me what this writing brought up for you. I’ll read it, privately, and respond directly to you.
Trust your heart.
Listen to your body.
Follow your soul.
P.S. Not sure? Apply to my 10-month private Body + Soul Mentorship. The application itself is designed to get you clear and stop doing things that kill your soul: http://alexandrajamieson.com/private-coaching/