111 How To Live A Good Life with Jonathan Fields

The Cravings Whisperer Podcast

Welcome back my Clan of the Crave Bears! Today’s guest, Jonathan Fields is a wonderful man! I met him through my husband several years ago. When I first met him I didn’t know what a big deal he was. He has written several books, bought and sold several businesses and now he has written a new book called “How to Live a Good Life: Soulful Stories, Surprising Science and Practical Wisdom”. You might be thinking “seriously another book about how to live a good life?” but so many people are living this life so disconnected, disengaged, dissatisfied and stuck. Whatever is out there isn’t getting through.

Jonathan’s book “How to Live a Good Life” is your antidote! You can test it out with your own personal experiences. It’s drawn from the intersection of science and spirituality and Jonathan’s own years-long quest. This book offers a simple and powerful model, good life buckets. You spend thirty days filling your buckets and reclaiming your life. “How to Live a Good Life” is not just a book to be read. It’s a path to possibilities to be walked and lived!

The best stuff in life happens in the place of discomfort and that’s where possibility takes root. Click To Tweet



You can Subscribe to the podcast on iTunesSoundCloudStitcher or TuneIn


Show Notes:

  • What is the story behind the story?
  • What is Jonathan’s mission statement?
  • Why did he use “How to Live a Good Life” for his title?
  • How did he make living in New York “livable”?
  • How did he come up with the cover of his book?
  • What are the three buckets?
  • What is embodied knowledge?
  • Why does it feel so hard to create a good life?
  • What are some places that people feel plugged in?
  • Is there an increase in narcissism?
  • Why don’t people go through with their ideas?


Trust that what you’re thinking about just might work! Click To Tweet


How to Live a Good Life: Soulful Stories, Surprising Science and Practical Wisdom

Hidden Brain Podcast – www.hiddenbrain.org

The Road to Character by David Brooks

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110 Own Your Money and Your Worth with Belinda Rosenblum

The Cravings Whisperer Podcast

Today we are going to be talking about women’s worth, women’s health and women’s financial being. It’s important to have a handle on all of these things. But first I want to talk about Donald Trump, pussy gate and what happened when that tape was released when Billy Bush and Donald Trump were talking about women’s bodies. I think pussy gate is a good thing. Why? Because it’s getting this conversation out of the shadows and into the open. We need to talk about how we talk about women’s bodies. I don’t have a problem with the word pussy. In fact, you can go back two episodes and listen to my interview with Regena Thomashauer and hear about her book “Pussy: A Reclamation.”

We need to reclaim our bodies! Your body is your own and you don’t have to put up with someone bigger or stronger than you doing things you don’t like. The word pussy was not what is so offensive. It’s women being abused, touched etc. and that this is looked upon as a joke. This leads to body shaming, women feeling like something is wrong with them if something is being said about them. This abusive rape culture that we live in has a real effect on women’s lives! When we don’t feel worthy in our bodies we don’t feel worthy to ask for that raise or promotion. When someone else more powerful takes advantage of us physically, we feel inferior and therefore we may not feel capable of understanding finance. So what happened last week with Trump and Billy Bush was disgusting. We need to take advantage of it and talk about this.

Women! We have to reclaim our bodies! Click To Tweet

The interview we have today takes this one step further. We are going to talk about how this body shaming, sexual culture and how is it having a real dollars and cents effect on women’s income. I am going to be interviewing my dear friend Belinda Rosenbaum. We have known each other for years. Belinda is the CEO of a company called “OwnYourMoney.com.” There are a lot of money experts out there but Belinda is different. She doesn’t just give you money tactics she helps you with the inner game.


You can Subscribe to the podcast on iTunesSoundCloudStitcher or TuneIn
Do you let your money own you? Click To Tweet

Show Notes:

  • What are the four c’s?
  • What brought Belinda to the field she is in?
  • What “meaning” are we putting around money?
  • What top mistake causes people to struggle with money?
  • How can we learn to deal with money?
  • How do we change our way with money?
  • How does Belinda help people “chill”?
  • What are the fears people have about money?
  • What are the top money skills needed?


When we don’t become aware of our fears we live in them. Click To Tweet




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It’s not just Trump: How we talk with girls about their bodies

“Locker room talk” and the old “boys will be boys” attitude creates and sustains rape culture and body shaming to persist. But how we don’t talk with girls about their bodies is also hurting them.

I Am. How we talk to girls about their bodies.

“You’re so pretty!” the speaker announced, looking directly at her. The 16-year old girl blushed, smiled awkwardly, and shrank down into her seat. Sitting 5 rows behind, I could feel her discomfort as half the room turned to look at her.


A few months ago, I spoke at an event for teen leaders. Waiting at the back of the room for the first speaker to finish, I watched and listened as he walked down the aisle to hand out papers for the co-ed group to take home. As the 60ish man spoke and walked, he came to the last row of students, handed a stack of papers to the young woman on the aisle, and exclaimed, “You’re so pretty!”


Her reaction hit me like a punch in my gut. She shrunk down in her seat and ducked her head down.


“Ick,” I quietly said out loud.


A minute later, realizing the back row didn’t get enough papers, the speaker returned, handed the same young woman a few more copies, and commented again to her, “You really are so pretty!”


The student cringed down in her chair even further, and her friends all turned and whispered something to her. Anyone could see she was hating this unwelcome attention, especially in front of teenage boys.


This time my gut was on fire.


It brought me right back to when I was 13 years old and waiting for my mom in the lobby of the bank.  A 30ish man walked up, stopped next to me, told me that I was pretty, and asked me out for a coffee.


I felt fear, out of my depth, and immediately worried that I had done something to attract this uncomfortable, dangerous-feeling attention.


I said “No!” giggled, and looked down with flushed cheeks at my long-sleeved flannel shirt and knee-length cut-offs as I walked towards my mom, wondering, why did he ask me?


My mom didn’t see it happen, and I didn’t tell her. I felt ashamed, somehow.


About a year later my 22 year-old brother got into a fist fight with a 20ish guy who came up to us, asked how I was doing and chucked me under the chin telling me I “looked fine.”


Male attention felt dangerous and troublesome. The “male gaze” isn’t just locker room talk and cat calling. It’s much more damaging than that.


Even though I hadn’t “done anything” I felt like I had done something wrong by getting attention and proceeded to wear bulky, long sweatshirts for most of my teen years. The last thing I wanted was more attention.


This kind of unwelcome attention feels like theft. It steals our ability to feel like we own our bodies. Even when no physical damage is done, these kind of comments damage the free expression of our beauty and full expression of ourselves.


How can we talk to girls about their bodies and the male gaze?


This question, and my anger at myself for not telling that male speaker to be more aware of how he made this young woman feel, has been roiling around in my body and brain for months now.


When it comes down to it, we live in a culture where many men feel like they have the right to comment on, touch without permission, and abuse women of every age.


I’ve asked friends and readers, and posted the query on Facebook and Instagram.


The first thing I’ve realized is we shouldn’t talk TO girls and women about their bodies. We should be talking more WITH them. Sharing. Educating about basic biology, not handing down judgments and approval willy-nilly.


Here are some of the comments and insights women have shared with me via social media:


Terricole: As a therapist I like the idea of figuring out guidelines as opposed to the ALWAYS or NEVER school of thought since we are all just flawed humans trying to do better. When it comes to weight gain or loss I def say no comment is the way to go. My 22-year-old niece just lost quite a bit of weight and her mother (my sister who is and has always been weight obsessed although she is very fit) kept commenting on how great she looked until my niece lost it and said,”Stop looking at my body with that critical eye. Your compliments make me feel exactly as bad as your not so subtle suggestions of how to lose weight when I didn’t ask you. STOP OBJECTIFYING ME MOM PLEASE! ” And when you think about it the flip side of the complement is a criticism and all of it is judgement. I grew up with 3 beautiful older sisters and my mother rarely commented on our looks at all. So although my weight fluctuated no one commented on it Consequently I felt loved the same pretty much all of the time. With my many nieces I would focus on gratitude for their strong healthy bods because not everyone can run, walk or hike etc. Also focusing on positive behavior(that was so kind of you to …) and good intentions is empowering and shows them what you think is important. Modeling a positive relationship to your own body & figuring out your own stuff from your family of origin will help you not hand down toxic stuff. This is really the greatest gift you can give to all of your kids (and yourself too!) ❤️

grace.freshfoodkcI:  I love conversations about bodies that wrap up the whole person. Talk about how their body shape, size, etc. reflects their life and passions. I love how your freckles show in summer-it makes me think of all of our fun park dates or I love how your strong legs could hike up this trail. If women grew up appreciating their body’s ability and strength, we’d have a lot less stress about the rest.

Heartenhealthy As a mom of 2 daughters I think about this A LOT. My 4 year old will ask when she gets dressed up for something or I’ve just finished doing her hair if she looks beautiful and I tell her that she looks beautiful all the time. I want her to understand that she is just as beautiful when she first wakes up in the morning as she is when she is dressed up or does something to change her appearance. I make sure we focus a lot on talking about what her body is capable of and the importance of who we are inside. We talk a lot about what it means to be unique and I tell her that it means everyone is special in their own different way. I feel like we are fighting an uphill battle with the current standard of beauty that we see in mainstream media. Thanks @deliciousalex for posting this question. Conversations like this are important in order to determine what we can do differently to raise our daughters to be confident and to reject the notion that appearance matters most.

Karenmeiercoach Completely agree with @terricole 👌 – modeling a positive relationship with your body is key. I also think it’s important to discuss the importance and beauty of body diversity – that bodies come in all shapes and sizes! 🙏


In short, there are a lot of opinions about how we should talk to and with our girls about their bodies. And that’s just the women.


To me, one thing is very clear:


By commenting (repeatedly) on a woman’s appearance, we risk making her feel more self-conscious, more uncomfortable, and less seen for her whole self.

We make a woman’s worth all about how she looks and her body becomes a commodity. Something to be owned or used.

She becomes a thing, rather than a person.


The anger I felt at that older man commenting on the young woman’s looks boils down to this – he wasn’t engaging with her as a whole person, he was, in a few words, patronizingly giving his approval of her, and drawing a lot of uncomfortable attention to her, by reinforcing a patriarchal (Yes, I said it) norm that pretty women are more worthy and deserving of special treatment.


Like my 13 year-old self, many teenaged girls don’t appreciate too much attention. Attention and the male gaze are rife with danger for all women:


  1. We are taught to crave attention and approval of our appearance, and yet
  2. If we cross some invisible and ever-moving line of seeking too much attention, we risk being labeled a slut, high and mighty, or worse.


Attention feels like a dangerous, can’t-win proposition for women, and it begins with these seemingly innocuous comments.


I wish I could go back and pull that man aside, tell him the truth – his comments were more damaging than anything – and ask him to refrain from making approving statements about women’s appearance in the future.


I would ask him instead to acknowledge women for their hard work, for their accomplishments, for their strength and resilience.


The conversation about women’s bodies must change. And we have to start changing it amongst ourselves.


Stop buying and investing in the appearance-based celebrity gossip culture that Jennifer Aniston so eloquently spoke out against. Tell young women how strong they are and how their hard work is noticed and appreciated. Have meaningful conversations with them about what they see on television and in magazines, and even on Instagram. Find out how it makes them feel to see models and movie stars be appreciated only for their looks.


Once we allow women to be fully seen, we may finally create a culture of true beauty, one that’s safe for every woman to shine in all of her strength.


How can we talk with girls and women about our bodies?


First, we should be talking more with each other about our bodies.

Not commenting on each other’s bodies, but sharing our experiences and feelings about growing up female.


We should talk about celebrity culture and the impact that social media has on our body image and connectedness.


Recently Playboy Playmate Dani Mathers was at her gym when she used Snapchat to broadcast a picture of a middle-aged woman using the shower in the locker room. Mathers captioned her Snap, “If I can’t unsee this then you can’t either.”


Not only was the model and radio host making fun of another woman’s body, she was illegally posting a nude photo of a woman without her permission in a body-shaming way. Mathers’ gym, L.A. Fitness, immediately banned her from ever using any of their outlets again, she was fired from her radio job, and is now under investigation by the Los Angeles Police Department.


This is a case of woman-on-woman body shaming gone very wrong, but it happens all the time in more subtle ways. Last year, blogger and runner Kathy Sebright shared a story of how two women commented that she had “put on a lot of weight” at a July 4th parade when they thought she couldn’t hear them. Her invisible story of struggling to help her young son and family manage a horrible illness were not visible to the women; they didn’t see her whole story, only her current shape and weight.


Just as the speaker felt it appropriate to comment on the young woman’s beauty, bringing her attention she clearly didn’t want, the female model felt it appropriate to negatively comment about the woman’s body at the gym, bringing her attention she clearly didn’t ask for.


How can we end this cycle of shaming and hurting? Is banning and firing the answer? I felt the anger and understood the immediate reaction to ban and fire Dani Mathers after her shameful and illegal Snapchat fiasco.


But, is this really going to solve the problem?


I believe we need to talk with boys and girls, men and women about what happens when we comment on each other’s appearance. We need to share our experiences with each other and with our children so that they feel entitled to respect their own bodies, and so they respect other people’s bodies just the same.


What if instead of firing Dani Mathers, her radio station had assigned her to both record a conversation with the woman she photographed and to interview a new woman every week for the next year about a personal body-shaming incident and how it affected the woman?


How can we include men in this evolution?


And what about men?


As the mom of a 9 year-old boy, I’ve worried and struggled with what to say and how to raise him so that he’s a “good man” that respects and stands up for women as well as himself.


We look at the progressive sex education books together, learning about anatomy and the differences between men and women, so that he has real knowledge. We call our body parts by their names: penis, vagina, breasts, and vulva, rather than “down there, willy, or nana’s” so that we aren’t making jokes about the human body rather than being factual and easy about it all.


We teach him that his body is his own, and no one may touch him without his permission. The same goes with friends and family: every person is in charge of their own body. You respect theirs, and demand that they respect yours.


We don’t force him or even ask him to hug family if he doesn’t want to. Why force kids to do something physically that they don’t want to do?


I’ve told him it’s nice to comment positively on someone’s clothing, but not on their body. Not because you don’t like how they look, but because people are very sensitive about their bodies and we want people to feel happy in themselves.


We’ve come up with “safe words” so that when any kind of physical play becomes too much for him, he can shout “RED!” and we know it’s time to immediately stop tickling or wrestling.


By teaching young men to respect their own bodies, as well as everyone else’s, we can raise the new generations not to fall into the same shameful traps.


What should I have said to that 60 year old man?


I wish I had pulled him aside, out of view of the students, and told him how his comments actually affected this young woman. I would ask him to not draw attention to young women’s appearance, but instead to comment on their strength and intelligence. And I would beg him NOT to go talk with her about it, even to apologize, because, knowing women’s inclination to shoulder all blame, she would probably end up apologizing to him in the end.


But I didn’t. I may always regret that.


Instead, I took the stage and taught the group about the wisdom of their bodies. I taught them a practice I wish I had learned at a much younger age, but one that any of us can learn to our advantage:


I told them how to feel “YES” and “NO” from their own bodies, and I want to teach you how to do this now too:


Sit with your eyes closed and place a hand on your heart and one hand on your belly. Take 5 deep, slow, relaxing breaths.


Feel and say YES out loud. YES. YES, I want this. YES, this is for me! YES, I know this! YES! YES YES!


How did that feel in your body?


Now take 5 more deep, slow, relaxing breaths to settle down again.


Feel and say NO out loud. NO. NO, I don’t want this. NO, this is not for me. NO, I don’t like that. NO NO NO!


How did that feel in your body?


I asked how many in the audience could feel a difference between YES and NO in their bodies, and more than half the room raised their hands.


This practice, I told them, could be used for choices, small and large, throughout their life. What to eat, what to wear, where to go to college, who to date, how they’re being treated…


I shared that, especially for the young women in the room, they were going to need to learn how to tap into this truth in their bodies. Their truth and desires will be squashed again and again by unconscious or uncaring forces in the world.


We all need, men and women alike, to practice feeling what our bodies are telling us,  honor and respect ourselves, gather support around us, and continue to speak up for our truth.


I don’t have all the answers.


But I’m a woman with a fiery interest in helping create a world where every young woman feels like she owns her own body, grows up not fearing her own beauty (and honey, we all glow with a divine inner beauty!), and where all women feel free of shame so they can shine their fire freely.


Maybe the best we can do now is share and grow this discussion, talk with each other about how we feel, and share our experiences.

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The Courageous Self-Care Manifesto

From the Latin “manifestus” – to manifest, to make public, to clearly reveal, to make real.


Hold onto your adult coloring books: we have self-care wrong.


Women’s magazines and self-help books tell us to focus on the tiny things, to consume more goods, and what amounts to the 101 of self-care. When what we want, and crave, is bigger, bolder– a matter of life and death. I’m talking about the graduate school level of self-care.


Here’s the truth about self-care:

The tiny, daily acts of comfort are necessary, but they don’t take us far enough.

Salt baths and mani-pedis are all well and good, but they’re distracting us from the real work and true care we deserve:


Self-care lives in bold actions taken bravely.

Yes, we need massages, afternoons with girlfriends at the cafe, movie nights, and yoga classes.


But these are the bare minimum. They’re like breathing: if we don’t take these regular breaks, give ourselves these frequent gifts, we start to shrivel up, get bitter, and lose our vitality.


And the truth?

We don’t even give ourselves enough of these small acts of self-care. We feel selfish, guilty, or even ashamed of these tiny acts when in reality the nourishment they provide us allows us to serve others and share our gifts with the world more powerfully.


Until we make the big choices, finally speak our truth, say the thing we’ve been choking on for too long, or give ourselves permission, all the cups of herbal tea under a cozy blanket won’t move the needle in our lives’ unfolding earthquake.


Courageous self-care is bold action taken for our soul’s good.

Courageous self-care is masculine drive for the betterment of our entire lives, informed by our feminine healing.

Courageous self-care is stepping fully into our lives, stating our needs, and asking for help to achieve it.


I believe we have self-care backwards.

I believe self-care is a deeply personal act, fueling each woman’s strength and health.

I believe true self-care is the courageous expression of each woman’s life purpose.

I believe a million acts of courageous self-care can change the world by changing women’s lives. Because women who feel deserving of fun and nourishment are like a shockwave of healing energy.


I dare to believe that women everywhere deserve to feel ownership and love of their own bodies, pride in their minds, and belief in their strengths. We must redefine what self-care really looks like.


Redefine what courageous self-care is in your life:

  • Negotiating, not just asking, for a raise
  • Starting the business or side-hustle that you’ve dreamed of
  • Leaving a relationship
  • Taking a lunch break every day, regardless of how many emails beg for your attention
  • Dating again
  • Quitting your toxic job
  • Playing because you love your body, not working out at the gym because you hate it
  • Redoing your closet
  • Coloring books and beautiful pencils after dinner instead of a bottle of wine
  • Throwing away the skinny jeans that are taunting you
  • Buying that investment coat for fall you’ve been drooling over
  • Savoring that piece of chocolate as if it were your last bite on earth
  • Cutting out sugar (even though your family keeps bringing it to your house)
  • Forgiving someone
  • Forgiving yourself
  • A solo vacation without the kids for deep soul fulfillment and true quiet
  • Masturbation and sex on a regular basis
  • Wearing clothing that fits and feels great every day, just because
  • Traveling to Costa Rica for the yoga retreat
  • Going back to grad school and finishing your M.F.A.
  • Finally having the conversation (you know the one)


The salt baths and journaling exercises can help us a bit, but all the spa dates and pedicures in the world won’t end the toxic relationship with your mother or get you that promotion you deserve.


Jill, one of my private clients, began taking big, bold steps in her life to truly care for her soul’s cravings. Through our work, she had the tough conversations, spoke up for her needs, and asked for the support she desired. The results were beautiful:


“I want to put out there that when I slow down, do the real self-care, let it go, and listen to myself, motivation and magic appear! I feel good. I walked 3 miles and my muscles don’t even hurt. I’m getting ready to have a few girlfriends over and I’m looking forward to it. I ate nice, healthy food, that was delicious. I’m creating a really nice pattern for myself.”


The self-care menus are valuable, non-negotiable maintenance we need, but they are not the lasting, profound change that we seek.


I want to live in a world where women feel righteous about asking for what they need and want, because when women are fulfilled and feel bountiful, our entire community benefits.

I want to live in a world where women don’t apologize for speaking their minds or taking a lunch break.

I want to live in a world where women pride themself on one daily act of courageous self-care.

I want to live in a world where women have the fuel, fire, and strength to love themselves fiercely so that they can be powerful agents of change.

I invite you to join me in creating this world where women step into daily acts of courageous self-care.

Apply now for a private coaching conversation with Alex: www.AlexandraJamieson.com/verge

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109 Turning Fear Into Faith with Gabby Bernstein

The Cravings Whisperer Podcast

Just to give you an update on last week, we had Holy Grigg-Spall on hormonal birth control. This week she has an article on thegaurdian.com all about how the pill is linked to depression and how doctors can no longer ignore it. Be sure to go back and listen to episode 108 and share it with anyone you know who are on the pill or considering going on the pill.

Now for a little update in my personal life. I spent an amazing and powerful weekend in Los Angeles. A couple of my friends were going through some tough times and I felt so privileged and blessed to be able to go out there and support them. Not only was it great for me to go out and offer my support but they really impressed me how they asked for help. So often we try to do things on our own, we need other people to help us grow. We are accepting applications for Women on the Verge coaching program. This is one on one coaching to help you grow and heal and make your mark while having fun. This program is for you if you have ever wanted a trusted guide to keep you accountable for your life’s desires. You can go to alexandrajamieson.com/verge and check out testimonials from some amazing women who I have coached in the past.

Part of what keeps us from asking for help is fear. Today’s interview is with Gabby Bernstein and we will be talking about her new book “The Universe Has Your Back: Transforming Fear into Faith.”


You can Subscribe to the podcast on iTunesSoundCloudStitcher or TuneIn
The process of writing just continued to heal me. @GabbyBernstein Click To Tweet

Show Notes:

  • What inspired her to write this book?
  • What did this book do for Gabby?
  • Is this book good for anyone going through a breakdown?
  • How does her book address how fear holds us back?
  • What makes this book different from her other books?


Fear is the voice of resistance @GabbyBernstein Click To Tweet


www.gabbybernstein.com/bookbonus – Get Gabby’s Book Bonus

www.alexandrajamieson.com/verge – Sign up for Women on the Verge Coaching Program

www.theguardian.com – Check out Holly Grigg-Spall’s viral article on “The Pill”

The Universe Has Your Back: Transforming Fear into Faith – Grab a copy of Gabby’s book




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