64 Emily Nagoski - Sexual Experiences and the Importance of Context

The Cravings Whisperer Podcast with Alexandra JamiesonToday on the show we’re talking about some rather adult topics with sex expert and author Dr. Emily Nagoski. Emily wrote this fantastic book, Come as You Are, that has changed so much about how I think about female sexuality. Women and men work differently, we know that. It’s not just about turning us women on - it’s about the context. Any sexual experience requires the right context for it to be pleasurable!Emily’s book really helps highlight those physical cravings that we have. Humans are designed to feel pleasure, but women as a group are more sensitive to things that put a damper on that desire. And when sexual pleasure is hard to come by, food becomes one of our only options for that pleasure. I really think that this book will change your relationship with your sexuality and understanding what you want, what you need, and how you can get it.I’m also excited to tell you about my new program Women on the Verge, a six-month private coaching program with me. This program is for women who are really ready to take off in 2016, who are ready to grow, heal, make your mark while having fun and being you. Check it out and sign up to see if working together is the right fit!Today’s sponsor is Audible.com®, who has more than 180,000 audiobooks and spoken-word audio products. Get a free audiobook of your choice here.

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"The best predictor of our sexual wellbeing is our overall wellbeing."  (Click to Tweet)

Show Notes:

  • How she became an expert in the science of sex
  • How she learned about active listening
  • How your sexual health and overall health are linked
  • What is the dual control mechanism
  • Why we have to learn to pay attention to ourselves without judgment
  • The importance of context
  • The complexity of stress and it’s role in your sexual desire
  • What is EMDR
  • How women are being raised to be sexually dysfunctional
  • How food has become safe sex for women

"This is what it’s like being a sex educator: you find out that everything that you learned growing up culturally about sex, pretty much none of it is true."  (Click to Tweet)

  • How virginity is a biologically meaningless ideal
  • What is non-concordance
  • The difference between sexually relevant vs. sexually liked
  • Why it’s not lazy to use lube
  • What is responsive desire
  • How distance, rules, and novelty can increase desire
  • Why you should get to know your genitals
  • Why you should identify the parts of your body that you like
  • Why you should stop consuming media that makes you feel crappy

"Pleasure is the measure of sexual wellbeing! If you like it, you are doing it right."  (Click to Tweet)

Links Mentioned:

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"Where every woman can turn to understand her own sexuality is her own body."  (Click to Tweet)

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