My Mother Of Dragon's Moment: Unsatisfied With Smallness

This is a story about coming out of hiding, admitting what we want, who we are, and taking bold, bright, beautiful action on behalf of our dreams.

This is a story about becoming the Mother of Dragons.

Last week I gathered four women in New York City for a special 2-day gathering. These women were itching to create their next step - a new business, a book proposal, a coaching program, or something else.

This unique Unapologetic Creative retreat was the first of its kind, had no fancy marketing, but was designed out of 18 years of coaching and experience…

Who told me I could offer this kind of thing to women entrepreneurs?

No one.

I had to decide and just do it.

I began to think of Daenerys, Mother of Dragons, from Game Of Thrones. (If you’re not a fan, just stay with me…) Daenerys has to claim her titles over and over, facing down systems and armies who don’t believe she’s got a right to be Queen.

Over time she becomes:

Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen, First of Her Name, the Unburnt, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons.

She stopped waiting for people to tell her who she was, and claimed those titles for herself. And she has to tell people who she is, over and over again.

You might laugh, but we keep ourselves from claiming what we want and who we are, and it stifles our creative mastery, power, and self-trust. We hide, and we play small, even though we feel deeply unsatisfied with our smallness.

We hide or play small in many ways:

• Force ourselves to accomplish some arbitrary goal before allowing ourselves what we truly want…
• Stay in the planning zone, always rehashing timelines, or strategizing at the whiteboard…
• Adding more layers of complexity, perfecting and polishing every single aspect ...
• Researching everything that has been said, done or studied about your topic…
• Continuously going back to school for more and more certifications or degrees…
• We put our self care at the bottom of the list, silently sabotaging our desires with low energy and “lack of focus” issues…

What are the answers to end this playing small?

• Rather than play the “first I have to do this, then I’ll let myself do that” game, remember that there are always options in how things can happen; take direct action now and you’ll feel a wave of energy increase within and around you.
• Step out of the waiting and planning zone, and get into an actual conversation by doing the work with people. Leading this Unapologetic Creative retreat was an example of “building while doing” something I’ve been thinking about for years. In the doing of the retreat, I learned how to make it even better next time.
• Strip away the complexity and make it as simple as possible. Share the cleanest, most streamlined version you possibly can as a first version. Get feedback and know that it’s still valuable as a “work in progress.”
• Get out of research and “perpetual student” mode and take the bold step of just sharing what you already know. I can guarantee you have enough knowledge in you to start.
• Get fiercely serious about your personal self-care boundaries. If you’re always too tired to devote energy and focus to this project that you say you care about, how are you letting yourself down with a lack of nourishment, rest, movement, or joy?

The women in last week’s retreat drew important boundaries with their new creations:

“Instead of doing work that’s not mine, I’m setting aside hours when I have the most energy to focus on my book writing.”

“So I don’t have a certification in what I want to coach? I have more than enough life experience, and I’ve been helping friends with this for years. It’s time to stop worrying and waiting for someone to give me permission…”

“Just because no one has ever created something like what I envision doesn’t mean it isn’t a good idea - it means it’s inspired! Now I can’t wait to get to work on it…”

These were Mother of Dragon Moments:

When we shake off the chains of perfectionism, people-pleasing, and give more energy to our own desires than what other people want from us.

(Don’t worry - your kids and dogs will still get fed and loved. You’re a good person - you won’t forget about them - they’ll be fine with a little less of a happier version of you.)

So, first of your name, this is my question to you:

I've created new way to quickly and powerfully step into your majesty…and stop playing small. It's called the Rich Creatrix Immersion.

...and I want to hear from you that you’re moved by this story.

I’m ready to take action in creating what I want and stop waiting.

Lots of love,

Alex